Gimme an S! Gimme a T! Gimme a D! What does that spell?! STDDDDDDDD!! Sure… We asked you for your stories about sexually transmitted diseases, and you shared them with us. And now here are our male co-workers to read them for you. Wear protection. “Me and this guy were doing the sex with a girl he found on Tinder… We had a pretty great four minutes, but a couple weeks later we went to the doctor. Turns out she had a foot thing and we got athlete’s foot all over our special places.” So it was a threesome! With a Tinder date! And they got athlete’s foot, on their dangles… I wanna just say: If you went out of your way to get a threesome through Tinder, it better have been a-longer than a-four minutes! “My ex boyfriend and I were trying to be safe, so I got a condom from a friend at school. A couple days later, he texted me and says that he had some weird discharge. My mom had my phone at the time… So she called me into the room, read the text, and then called my doctor. Turns out everything was fine. My boyfriend just got a really bad yeast infection from the condom. Lesson is: Don’t use oral condoms for vaginal sex.” Another lesson: Put your phone on airplane mode, then your mother wouldn’t see that. “I had a one night stand and I found out he gave me oral gonorrhea. After I told him, he had to go in with his mother to receive a shot. The nurse told me she had to hold his hand…” Very sweet of the nurse… “When my boyfriend and I first started dating, his ex girlfriend called him a week before Christmas to tell him she had the herpe-derp…” …That’s not a scientific term. “We both justifiably freaked out and got tested. We got our results and luckily, we were good. She’d gotten it from the guy she’d been cheating on him with. Now he gets to joke about the time he almost gave me herpes for Christmas.” Herpes is more like Hanukkah ’cause it seems to last forever… [stadium cheers] “Once I went to a new gyno, who, without any testing, told me I had an STD because ‘my vagina shouldn’t be that bumpy.’ I flipped out, went to Planned Parenthood, and got a clean bill of health. Turns out the bumps were goosebumps.” This is… Peculiar. I didn’t know you can get goosebumps… …on your box. “I was hooking up with a guy and decided to finish him with a blowjob. When he ejaculated, I realized it was chunky. Horrified, I spit it up…” That was a good move. “Turns out, he had chlamydia!” Oh god… “Also I found out it’s possible to get oral chlamydia.” This horrible man… I wonder if he knew? If he did it on purpose, he’s worse than Donald Trump. “I once thought I had an STD on my mouth because I sucked a guys dick with no condom. Turns out I just had really chapped lips.” Chapped lips? Damn, that’s- What kind of chapped lips do you get, that you think you had an STD? Damn, do I have ChapStick? Let me just get my sh*t right, you know? Just in case, you know? I’m not out suckin’ dick, but still, you know? Next week we’re talking about creepy ass teachers. And pervy professors. So leave your stories in the comments below. And check out a brand new Weep Show tomorrow, on Facebook Live, at 3:30 PM with guest Farah Brook! Wooo!