Articles, Blog

Why Boys Are Mean To Girls They Like

August 26, 2019


We spend a lot of our lives lying to someone very close to home: ourselves. We lie because so many of the things we feel are humiliating, challenging, strange and unflattering. We don’t just forget to aknowledge our feelings One part of the mind actively shields the other from uncomfortable truths, but the cost of our denial is high because emotions that have not been properly confronted lead to a psychological impoverishment, brittleness, rage and deceit. it is deeply uncomfortable to want something that one can’t have. So, a standard form of denial is to reinvent how much one ever really wanted the elusive element in the first place. We reevaluate what a thing means to us, it might be a job, a holiday or a person. When it becomes clear it can never be ours it takes exceptional maturity to hold onto the idea that something might be at once precious and yet forever, and maddeningly, out of reach. Perhaps you were 14 and entering a new class, when you noticed an extraordinary new student, taller than you, with grey green eyes, thick auburn hair and an intelligent wry smile. They were one of the most charming people you’d ever encountered and also utterly beyond you. You were pimply and immature, you couldn’t do sports, you weren’t great at languages. Of course, you might have tried to become their friend, you might have shed jokes and chitchat, but this kind of compromise would have hurt too much. So, to reduce the pain, you became nasty, you started to hate the person you liked, you sought to spoil because you could not have, you became mean where you would, at one level, have wanted to worship. You called the a stuck-up idiot, and worse. You organized a group to torment them, one time you stole their scarf. You escaped your feeling through a denigration that hid, not hatred, but at base, a passionate secret love. Sometimes our meanness takes drier, more intellectual forms. Perhaps at the office, you recently sent a random memo headed: “Recruitment Policies for Q4 Sales Team”. In it you argued in sober prose with numbered paragraphs that the company shouldn’t, in the future, seek to recruit any more recent university graduates, on the grounds that they tended not to meet the expectations of clients. The need for this kind of high-flown self deception began the day you first laid eyes on the new recruit, who seemed astonishingly young, enthusiastic, endearing and desirable. The emotions you felt were a piece of madness for a married, middle-aged person. The target of your desire was 23 with coltish energy and innocent friendliness. On the second week they tried to ask what you’d done on the weekend, and mentioned that they’d tried wind surfing for the first time. You responded by being rather stern, with collegues you judged their performance in a critical way that seemed just about fair, at the commettee meeting you damned them with faint praise and at the earliest opportunity you made sure their contract was not renewed. Of course, being honest about our real feelings doesn’t mean we should always act on them. It’s not a good idea to make every feeling known to those it concerns. The choice we face isn’t between denial and inaction, or honesty followed by a brusk move on the people around us. We can accept many of our desires without needing to think we should do anything about them. The best way to overcome denial of some of our more impossible desires for people is to accept who we are, what we want and then sometimes just sit with our hands firmly tied, reflecting sadly on the deep strangeness and unsatisfactoriness of the human condition, but that will be a lot better than self deception and meanness.

100 Comments

  • Reply Betch March 17, 2019 at 1:26 am

    No.
    Agressive behaviour has to be treaten by psychologist. Young people usually learn this things from their parents or friends. All of them need help.
    This isnt normal to humiliate someone.
    SO NEVER make stupid excuses like this. If you cant go to psychologist, focus on good in yourself, on love not hate. PLEASE.
    I was sexually, mentally and physically abused by my classmate for 3 years.
    I was 12.

  • Reply shn iar March 17, 2019 at 4:53 pm

    I think it depends on the person personality no matter whats the person gender are

  • Reply that kid March 18, 2019 at 5:32 am

    Im going through this rn. He 18 and Im 21. I told this guy i liked him, in 2018, and he said the same, but he just wasnt ready for a relationship and i couldn't deal with him bc he's immature so i cut him off. He then began to be mean to me.

  • Reply jaha out March 18, 2019 at 4:38 pm

    As someone else here said. The title said “boys” not “men”. This does not justify any adult man treating a woman like shit.

  • Reply Xiu Zu March 19, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    …interesting🤔

  • Reply Emma Walker March 19, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    Still doesn’t make it right

  • Reply chloexwoahhz March 20, 2019 at 9:09 am

    "you stole their scarf" LMSKDMS why did I laugh at that

  • Reply Jelly King March 20, 2019 at 5:50 pm

    This guy is such a pussy

  • Reply Hunna Ferdinand March 21, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    Funny video

  • Reply Emaan Wilson March 28, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    Girls do this too

  • Reply Urvashi Chamoli March 31, 2019 at 8:19 am

    Very true💛💛💛💛💙💙💙💙💣

  • Reply Nicole Perra March 31, 2019 at 8:13 pm

    Makes sense why I was bullied xd

  • Reply Nicole Perra March 31, 2019 at 8:14 pm

    His name was jax

  • Reply Nicole Perra March 31, 2019 at 8:15 pm

    He was super mean. to me

  • Reply Nicole Perra March 31, 2019 at 8:23 pm

    If your a boy and like a girl don't bully them just show them how you feel it really helps the will reject you if your to young and if your crush is taken but still there can be a little some one you might like is a lonely girl that doesn't have friends you really need to help them if they are getting bullied I didn't get stood up from a nice girl and my teachers don't believe me I got home schooled cuz my mom could not stand it so she became my teacher then I went to a other school and I had aids so I wont become a target to get bullied again but my one after lunch is pushy and a little rude for me but I still am happy to be with her

  • Reply Nicole Perra March 31, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    She's my best friend she's gonna make me stand up for my self and be not lazy and slow on work she will make me smart and happy!

  • Reply Cløudy Angel April 9, 2019 at 6:33 pm

    Well my crush is just flat out mean to me because he has eyes on another girl sadly😔

  • Reply the-cyclone-boy 67890 April 9, 2019 at 11:07 pm

    And this is also why boy never be on girl land

  • Reply Thepalsrawesomm yt lol April 11, 2019 at 2:38 am

    Srsly,15 boys like me?(the only ppl that hate me are my fucking bullys that are guys wtf)

  • Reply Makayla K April 12, 2019 at 9:59 pm

    Lol he is mean because he can’t have

  • Reply Ziyah K April 14, 2019 at 1:14 pm

    So basically my crush have all of a sudden started to become rude towards me and I didn’t do nothing wrong so he likes me ?

  • Reply Emma April 15, 2019 at 7:41 am

    NO!

  • Reply Garnet Queen April 17, 2019 at 8:50 am

    Cause he's ugly.

  • Reply Supreme King April 18, 2019 at 5:59 pm

    What utter bollocks..clickbait with lies

  • Reply cola April 19, 2019 at 3:14 am

    If a boy likes you he won’t be mean to you, my crush was being mean to me 2 days ago. But I don’t understand, he’s nice to me and we have fun times together. He was probably joking but I feel kinda hurt

  • Reply Prithvi Sundar April 21, 2019 at 6:32 am

    ACTUALLY its the opposite
    Its women who be mean to guys they like. 😂😂

  • Reply F4iry Dreams April 22, 2019 at 1:49 pm

    But my crush called me a hoe and he was one of my close friends and now he keeps trying to talk to me but he gets mad easily he gets mad at me for no reason it breaks my heart 💔

  • Reply Pastel Dream April 24, 2019 at 1:21 pm

    well thanks for some boys
    :/ can't start doing yt videos because they are watching my videos and the laugh and saying ''ahahaaaa lilaaw lillerroo roblox noob

  • Reply Hacker101 Products April 25, 2019 at 9:05 pm

    If I have crush I’m not mean to her I’m the nicest to her

  • Reply Glitched_ April 28, 2019 at 3:02 am

    Nope not at all

  • Reply Goo Tem April 28, 2019 at 5:07 am

    I'm 8th grade now
    So 9th grade boy is really2 mean to me and I think he doesn't like me….HE'S ASSHOLE HE'S REALLY MEAN TO ALL GIRLS

  • Reply Caleb Augustine April 29, 2019 at 5:36 am

    Not all guys who like a girl is mean to her . Stop posting crap and putting shit into girls minds.

  • Reply wall-san May 5, 2019 at 3:41 pm

    So uhh… A tsundere?

    But not a cute one?.. uhh no.. ok bye

  • Reply May the Science be with You May 5, 2019 at 6:39 pm

    crazy enough more often than not girls end up going out with those aholes who treated them like trash and who will probably zkeep on treating them like trash

  • Reply The Thinking Being May 7, 2019 at 12:18 am

    What is the not-so humble purpose of this artefact; The Church , when you have the school of life?

  • Reply Moonlight Baë May 8, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    So if he kicks you and calls you lazy he likes you haha 😂

  • Reply M Cooper May 8, 2019 at 8:52 pm

    Ugh this is not always the caase!

  • Reply KingEthan 09876 May 9, 2019 at 4:01 am

    Who ever said men can not cry they are literally stupid then why do we have the ability to

  • Reply Shook May 16, 2019 at 1:13 pm

    Lmao he looks like Shaggy

  • Reply Rocío Aguilera May 18, 2019 at 7:40 pm

    Not only boys, but men of all ages

  • Reply Anna Harbort May 20, 2019 at 2:52 am

    Wait what about trans girls ???

  • Reply April Harmony May 22, 2019 at 8:02 am

    I'm dealing with a guy right now that treated me horribly last year….now it's slowly coming out that he has a thing for me. I thought he hated my guts. Oh my MERCY😂😂😂😂😂

  • Reply Rima G May 25, 2019 at 12:43 am

    SOMEONE PLZ ADVICE!
    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????my friends told my crush i like him and i am shy 1 year ago he said me2 and he never talked to me. Then after 2 days my friends told him u should talk to her she is waiting for u to talk she is outside the library now he said hm you know what? I DONT LIKE HER. we had a group project on googledocs i told him that our points are similar and that i am 2ed person who is arguing in debate and maybe he must change somethings bc he was 3red and i had already wrote mine. he started fighting with me that shut up to God s sake dont talk stop it and so. after one year he started ignoring, running away or changing his way. then i sent him a friend request he accepted it but didnt follow back WTF does this mean urgent help!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply Tyler Findlay May 26, 2019 at 2:07 am

    Guys can be Tsundere.
    Change my mind.

  • Reply Tiger Falco May 26, 2019 at 6:41 pm

    35-48
    Hitting a little close to home there

  • Reply Elysium May 26, 2019 at 6:59 pm

    screw the whole philosophy and psychology bullshit
    you guys dont even have anything to back up your claims
    if a boy is mean to a girl or anyone, they should be isolated from the group and driven to suicide
    end of story.

  • Reply Wasim Naser May 30, 2019 at 11:13 am

    I like your videos but I’m gonna let you down with this one

  • Reply Free Fall May 31, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    God this guys mean, who’s ever done any of this shiz, he’s saying you but surely really means himself

  • Reply ʝυиg cσσкιє June 2, 2019 at 7:46 am

    This is why I'm mean to my crush(he's also mean to me too)

  • Reply Sean Lawlor Nelson June 2, 2019 at 6:05 pm

    The content you're disseminating is psychologically inhumane and doesn't reflect any great truth: beyond a desire to crush those who question your conventional wisdom. That's reactionary. Do you know what 'reactionary' means… Or do you need to go to the "school of life?"

  • Reply Mtn_ Deoxys June 12, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    I didn’t Too My crush

  • Reply Aamenaa Tanveer June 13, 2019 at 6:30 am

    If someone is mean to you, no matter how much they show they like you, drop them. Either its a boy either its a girl. They ain’t worth it. They are gonna give you mental illness at the end. Have someone emotionally intelligent who can take care of your emotions and get yourself educated as well then you’d be able to know what exactly your needs are.

  • Reply MadDilla ATCQstarr June 14, 2019 at 3:05 pm

    This video is a sad attempt at gaslighting and discouraging guys from being mean. LOL Being mean to girls gets you laid. Straight up. Always has, always will. That's why girls always go for bad boys instead of nice guys. #Facts

  • Reply Cola Queenツ June 15, 2019 at 6:00 pm

    Hey you boys if you like a girl and if you are mean to her she will never love you but if you're gentle to her she will love you back

  • Reply speedrunner784 June 16, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    Not true, I am mean if I hate them.

  • Reply Daniel Moore June 18, 2019 at 11:27 pm

    Damn, this video just described me. That's probably not good…

  • Reply Avik Bhattacharya June 20, 2019 at 3:22 pm

    i know what i want .. and i xan never get it

  • Reply Per Börjel June 25, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    Not to forget that girls seam to prefer boys that treat them bad.

  • Reply Paul Richards June 26, 2019 at 12:05 am

    Or it could be that you're just a shitty employee and your boss is not satisfied with your output. It doesn't mean he secretly likes you. Get over yourself.

  • Reply Rebelde Rodriguez June 27, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    human arent monogamus. boys neeed much woman

  • Reply Rebelde Rodriguez June 27, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    the husbard are like this

  • Reply faronika-d-ribca June 27, 2019 at 3:25 pm

    poor shaggy

  • Reply Yusuf Stone June 28, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    (orders a pocket pussy)

  • Reply Cryrosphere June 29, 2019 at 5:50 am

    Jesus, can this comment section be anymore toxic, this video explains the phenomena not supports it, it even discourages this behavior good lord.

  • Reply LeMarc Bates June 30, 2019 at 1:52 pm

    How about we all sit down, have some coffee and peacefully discuss the issues we have with each other instead of hashing it out in the comments. Like if you agree with me

  • Reply Rabbiya Tahir July 1, 2019 at 7:23 am

    Don’t go for some 1 who likes u go for some 1 who loves u 😌

  • Reply Thinking Brain July 1, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    This video is total bullshit. I am a boy, never did that and never knew any of my male friends did that. I couldn't believe when I first saw the title of the video.

  • Reply Gregor Bscheschicha July 1, 2019 at 7:59 pm

    Life is so fucked up on one side. Why?

  • Reply Tabitha Elkins July 2, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    The School of Life is designed to make you feel depressed. I am sure they are being financed by the makers of anti-depressants. It always ends with something like, "and we can reflect on the empty meaninglessness of life and the uselessness of everything." Thanks a lot!

  • Reply Rosa Cellulosa July 3, 2019 at 7:39 am

    2:38 I was gonna pause the video but I was like why's the pause button to the left. Wait there's one behind the black lady aswell😲

  • Reply zeus AB July 3, 2019 at 9:41 am

    This boy I like when I was acting dumb he called me dumb then we started a argument then he was bieng nice to me but yet he told off my freind cause she says she doesn't like gays and I also said that and he didn't tell me off I'm confused

  • Reply Gracie the Dragon July 4, 2019 at 1:39 am

    Every boy in my grade does this to me… So does that mean they all like me?! (dun dun dun)

  • Reply SNAPPLE LORD July 6, 2019 at 5:24 am

    Hello ladiez watch Elliot Rodgers
    Why do girls hate me

  • Reply Marc Padilla July 7, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    Break the ice,I guess.We all know how shallow the want for likeness is in some women. If not for you,for someone else.Its hands off grooming. Wonderful.

  • Reply star star shining bright July 9, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    …..
    The meaning thing I've done to my crush is pull the 4+ card in Uno.

  • Reply Lynn L. July 13, 2019 at 4:46 am

    Sorry. Your videos are great but i don't agree with this one. This is not normal behavior past the 5th grade.

  • Reply shatteredsquare July 14, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    in my experience, the only way I was ever able to move on emotionally was to make the other person out to be a bad guy. that's because I wasn't strong enough to carry the emotional weight of loss, because I had used that tactic throughout life, and never developed the emotional maturity to realize that it didn't work out to a happy ending because a happy ending doesn't exist, and I would be pissed, blame the other person, slam the door, burn the bridge. immature as fuck. at 33 I'm just starting to dabble in the idea of being my own person, having taken 15 years to break orbit from what I recognized (as a teenager) as a genealogical death trap. Keeping the door open across ambiguous stretches of time is excruciating, but every day I carry the emotional weight, I keep getting stronger. Not foolishly clinging on to naive hope, but maintaining that whatever it was that sparked a forest fire in my heart was something very real, and the person that sparked it remains that person, weather or not you get to be with them. You let them keep the spark, and you carry the weight of desire…loneliness/desire are personal issues, like hunger. You're hungry, you seek out food. You're lonely, you seek others. There are others. You remain, the person with the spark remains, everybody wins, in the capacity that each is able to carry their own weight. Not going to burn any more bridges, or stomp someone's soul out to bypass suffering for my own emotional vacancy. That's not love in any sense.

  • Reply Steph LJ July 15, 2019 at 6:07 pm

    This is absolutely offensive bullshit. Stop telling girls that abusive boys are showing like, love, or attraction. Stop perpetuating this myth that abusive boys and men fall back on as excuses for inappropriate behavior. Stop excusing, and start expecting respect and kindness.

    And ladies, if a boy or a man is mean, cruel, abusive… Fight back.

  • Reply Я могу говорит по-русскм 17063 July 15, 2019 at 11:34 pm

    It's also vice versa for me kinda .-.

  • Reply synchromorph July 16, 2019 at 10:14 am

    utter tripe.

  • Reply Boris Gogoi July 18, 2019 at 10:22 am

    Honestly If I like a lady I won't be mean to her, infact very helpful and friendly to her. I am mean to ladies that I don't like because of their arrogance, show off and especially I say 'NO' to judgemental, rude, status and power loving ladies. I keep my distance from these shallow ladies.
    Every Lord is different and has different choices but most of my mates in school, college or work were/are like me when they were/are interested in some lady.
    To be honest I found 'ladies' to be mean to their 'lords' they like, more than lords are.
    If he is a confident, intelligent, hardworking and powerful lad, also if she is immensely attracted to him and it was not her intention to have a crush or fall in love with someone, she usually acts mean, sarcastic, rude and cold towards him or if there is competition between the two and both are rivals or equals then there is bound to be all these 'silent wars' between the two as to who will be the 'Sir'.
    Maybe I am wrong I am no dating legend, just shared what I think is the valid reason from my experience.
    Lastly I think a soul would be mean, if they have control issues are jealous, insecure(inside, which they hide it from everyone) and possessive type.

  • Reply Titir Nayak July 19, 2019 at 8:54 am

    Why did this remind me of draco and harry

  • Reply Lindsey Maness July 21, 2019 at 2:59 am

    All the guys who like me try to wife me up tho…

  • Reply Dead July 21, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    This just came in my recommendations so I watched it, so the girl I'm mean to in the future is the one i like?)

    I dont get this

  • Reply Just Another Guy July 26, 2019 at 5:23 pm

    I just hope my crush doesn't see this

  • Reply Big boy Petri July 26, 2019 at 11:46 pm

    Boys are not mean to girls I mean some are but only about 15% are mean
    And your offending boys that are watching this
    And if we ware mean to girls that would not be why
    Like this if you agree with me
    👇🏻

  • Reply Hello Hello July 27, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    this is stupid

  • Reply shadow wolf July 29, 2019 at 9:30 pm

    wait wait wait…is that why so many boys bullie me at school
    cause they all sepretly bullie me……help

  • Reply Chute Mi July 30, 2019 at 11:51 pm

    ………….wait why am I watching this?

  • Reply Taneeka smith August 1, 2019 at 12:39 am

    I’m good

  • Reply Tianna Grey August 1, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    This happened to me in school more than once with my bullies. I was absolutely shocked each time, I can’t fathom why one would be mean to someone who you like

  • Reply Michael Mitchell August 5, 2019 at 3:36 pm

    brusk = brusque

  • Reply The tryhard Waffle August 7, 2019 at 9:16 pm

    Tbh for me it’s the other way around

  • Reply Paul Vaska August 8, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    But the girl Are being mean to meh ;-;

  • Reply Nakiya Cooke August 9, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    I love that the object of his desire was a black women! 🙌💪💯

  • Reply violetavalery August 13, 2019 at 12:26 pm

    As a victim of bullying coming from a group of mean ugly male classmates at college, who would even call me by a demeaning nickname behind my back, I must say this video is hitting the nail on the head.

  • Reply Jonah Mann August 16, 2019 at 5:53 am

    Sometimes when somebody fears rejection, they make a pre-emptive attack. This is not exclusive to men.

  • Reply risha a August 18, 2019 at 6:35 am

    this is seriously pathetic. a girl wont boink me so i ruin her career

  • Reply xXHazel_ChanXx August 19, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    Uh does this count? My crush hit me in the head with a chair lightly and then he knew it was suppose to happen and then he laughs

  • Reply Izzy Sullivan August 24, 2019 at 3:52 am

    But what happens when you have Obviously shown interest in a couple of guys but they still are mean anyway maybe all boys just hate me I mean here is what I look like so you guys could get a good picture I am a blonde haired blue eyed girl with buck teeth and I am very skinny and have like no boobs and no butt so no I am not pretty but I find that all the people that I am friends with they are all nice to them and not me and some of them are even way less attractive then me but also I am not very pretty CAN SOMEONE HELP ME I AM SO CONFUSED

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