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UTI? TMI!!! | Dicks Out of Water

August 21, 2019


[Alyssa] Get THIS girl some Monostat, ’cause I’m ITCHIN’ to talk about UTI’s & Yeast infections. [Sachi] We asked you for your stories and you shared them with us. Now here are our guy co-workers to read them for you. “Every time I go to Six Flags, I get a UTI… I don’t know what they have in their toilets.” Why are you in the toilet? That’s not a ride. “I didn’t know it was a yeast infection until I tried having sex with my boyfriend. Nothing but thick, disgusting, cottage cheese discharge came out. We got medication for it, and that slowly helped. Sadly, not in time for my debate tournament. I was standing there, giving a speech, with my vagina on fire.” …I wonder if she won that tournament? “My freshman year of college, I ended up with a yeast infection & a UTI at the same time. It was the first time I’d gotten either. I went to the store and attempted to navigate the thousands of feminine products for said problems. I called my mom to ask her for advice, and accidentally put her on speaker phone.” [laughs] Great! “She told me that I got them because I was having too much sex and that I should stop being such a slut.” That is very sex negative… “I turned around to see my boyfriend, the local pastor, and the pharmacist standing right behind me, and I wanted to die. It turned out it wasn’t from having sex, it was from taking antibiotics.” God bless. “When my sister was a teenager, she thought she was getting her period. So she put a tampon in. When she pulled it out later, it was covered with little white things that looked like rice except they were moving! Turns out they were WORMS related to a yeast infection. Now I live in constant fear that someday I’ll discover worms in my ladyparts.” YO…! “I got a yeast infection and was flat broke. So I looked up some home remedies.” Oh boy… “I found one that said it would cure me in a day! It was – wait for it – a garlic tampon. I took a clove of garlic, sewed a string through it, put it in, and wore it all night. It worked! [laughs] But my pooter smelled like garlic for two weeks, no matter how much I cleaned it.” That… is the grossest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. I don’t even wanna talk about it. [laughs] [Sachi] Lights Camera Action! Next week we’re talking about YOUR sex tape stories! [Alyssa] Leave your stories in the comments below. [Sachi] Does it make my butt look fat? [Alyssa] No! [Sachi] Mkay! Cool.

4 Comments

  • Reply Emily January 19, 2017 at 7:18 pm

    Is anyone going to a women's march? I saw the knitted pink "pussy" cat hat and that's why I thought that. I know the hat is connected to the various women's marches.

  • Reply Angela Is here January 20, 2017 at 6:54 am

    When I was ten I thought I got my first period but I actually just had a UTI. It was so awful because then the antibiotics caused immense pain.

  • Reply Kalliopita February 18, 2017 at 5:43 pm

    Omg I've done the garlic thing too 😂

  • Reply alysoup4dasoul April 28, 2017 at 1:25 am

    who tf has the money for garlic?!

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