Articles, Blog

TRYING TO MAKE BREAD!

August 27, 2019


(wood smacking) – Hold on, uh, I gotta do dishes. I got standards. They’re not high, but they’re there. Boy, my body don’t feel like it used to. I ain’t got a young
man’s body no more, okay, as I can tell by how I feel currently. You can only fall so many
times before it’s the big one. The main question I get
in the form of a statement is “Brandon, make bread.” (sighs) All right (laughs), so I went to Walmart and bought all the essential
bread-making materials, Prairie-Doggin’ flour, Fleischenheimen, raw and unfiltered, why is my cap loose? Is this from one of those pranks where people are licking my product? How would I know? Oh, I overreact on this channel (squeaks). YouTube, uh, yeast? – [Woman] First thing we
do is take some hot water. Hot bathwater, somewhere– – Hot bathwater, does it
need to come from the bath? I don’t know who this is. – [Woman] I’ll try another
phone number, okay? – All right.
– Same company. – Sounds good.
– Thank you. – Thank you.
– All right, okay, bye bye. – Okay.
– All right, bye bye. – Yeah-hmm, bye.
(dial tone beeps) I’m even awkward getting off
the phone with telemarketers. No, okay, bye, no, don’t go. I gotta go, don’t (laughs), don’t go! 1 1/2 cups of bathing water. I’m not getting this from the shower. (water gurgling)
Gotta be kidding me. 1 1/2 cups of bathwater. – [Woman] 108 degrees. – Did you say 108 degrees? What a very specific number for bathwater. Lucky for me, I do have a
thermostater, thermistize. – [Woman] The yeast
actually feeds on this, so make sure you don’t put a lot, especially if you’re making savory bread. – Morning.
– Sprinkling it across the top.
– Just sprinkle it across the top, on top
of the counter, too? ‘Cause I’m doing it, done, make bread. What am I gonna do for five minutes? (speaking in foreign language) (slurps) The big reveal. Ah, I did something wrong. – [Woman] Yeast doesn’t
look puffy like this, you wanna just pop this
out and redo it, make. – What, you expect me to dump this out? I’m not getting more bathwater. Oh, this is gonna take forever. (water gurgles)
Heat. Maybe my bathwater wasn’t warm enough. Water’s not warm enough, yeah. Gotta do it quick, honey, yes, dear. Yeast, I’m gonna put a little more, ’cause she don’t know
what she’s talking about. Now we wait for five minutes. ♪ Time for yeast and
watch it start diving ♪ ♪ How many make a cloud ♪ (squeaks) Moment of truth, aha! Why, oh (whines), what is
wrong with you? (laughs) Okay (laughs), maybe if I
just use water from the sink. She said use bathwater, so I guess I’m gonna just keep doing that. Maybe I should just leave
the bathtub running. I’ll be back. There’s really no point
in measuring at this point because I tried that
approach, didn’t work. Maybe I’m putting too much honey and the yeast is getting full. We still want it to want more, okay? Hold on, let me just do this. Oh, I think that’s
gonna work, I really do. No matter how this turns out, we’re gonna roll with this
one, unless it’s real bad. To all the haters who say it’s fake. (dramatic electronic music)
Look. ♪ You only got one yeast, one chance ♪ ♪ One opportunity, or three ♪ ♪ It doesn’t matter ♪ ♪ Just seize anything you’ve ever wanted ♪ ♪ Which just so happens to
be bread in this situation ♪ ♪ Would you take it or would
you just let it slip away ♪ ♪ Yo, his yeast is ready ♪ ♪ His palm’s sweaty, too,
’cause he’s also sweaty ♪ ♪ Maybe that’s why his
yeast isn’t rising already ♪ ♪ He tried one, two, three times already ♪ ♪ Got bathwater from the sink, wait ♪ ♪ He keeps on forgetting his lyrics ♪ ♪ That he didn’t write down ’cause he ♪ ♪ Didn’t write them down
because this is right ♪ ♪ Straight off the top of his head ♪ ♪ Man, he’s good (laughs) ♪ ♪ This may be the only
opportunity that I got ♪ ♪ You, you better get that yeast going ♪ ♪ Better make that dough,
better get that bread ♪ ♪ Going in the oven, yo ♪ ♪ Or you won’t get the bread ♪ ♪ You gonna get real hungry ♪ ♪ Man, I’ve already tried three times ♪ ♪ This bread ain’t working ♪ ♪ You just gonna quit ♪ ♪ I might, I might stop
making this bread ♪ ♪ If this yeast don’t rise ♪ ♪ I don’t know why it’s not rising up ♪ ♪ Why it’s not making the greasy top ♪ ♪ I don’t know what I’m
supposed to be doing or not ♪ ♪ I gave it the honey, man ♪ ♪ I got the bathwater right ♪ ♪ 108 degrees, exactly
what she said, right ♪ ♪ But now the yeast ain’t trying to rise ♪ ♪ And now my bread ain’t gonna work ♪ ♪ Now it’s gonna die ♪ ♪ It’s been three times,
I don’t know how ♪ ♪ I’m gonna survive but
it’s been 12 minutes ♪ ♪ Maybe I should check if it’s alive ♪ I don’t enjoy ad revenue anyway, tadah! Aw, okay (laughs), fourth time. I can do this, okay, I can make bread. They don’t call me Brandon
The Breadmaker Farris, literally, like no one calls me that. Okay, stupid joke, let’s go. (water plashing)
Scalding hot water, you got it. ♪ Mom’s spaghetti, he
keeps on forgetting ♪ ♪ What his mom wrote down, and it was ♪ ♪ Hey, son, don’t forget your spaghetti ♪ ♪ Is the noodles ♪ 1 1/2 cup, little bit of yeast here. It hates to be on the
edge, the edges are what, are what not, hey, more
sentences, I can, shut up! (sighs) Please yeast, meow. I don’t know any other
musical numbers I can do. Might as well go big,
I don’t have ad revenue on this video anyway. ♪ And I’ll fly ♪ ♪ With (squeaks) you, I, I would live ♪ What about that yeast, oh? (laughs) The big reveal, jeer dezus, okay. So we’re not gonna make bread (laughs). Why are you (coughs), (laughs) bread’s hard. One cup, and she didn’t give
me an amount for this honey, which I would solely like to blame all of my mistakes on that. Yeast, oh, I’m nervous, that looks good. This is it, this is the one. I’m done doing musical improv. We’re gonna set a timer. I’m gonna watch so I can
see what the problem is. What am I looking at? It looks like a yeast infection (laughs). (sobs) There’s a lot of
it falling to the bottom. Well, now it’s coming back
up from the bottom, what? That’s what yeast does? Maybe if I talk positively to it. You’re gonna do great. Oh, I’m excited, this is the one. He awkwardly paces his kitchen (whines). I can barely contain my excitement. Okay, consider it barely contained. I’m amazed (groans), why! (laughs) Less water, one, one more time, okay? I’m gonna do it one more time. (water plashing) (groans) Aw, you’re kidding me! (laughs) (tinkling piano music) Has just become musical
theater at this point. ♪ I just took a DNA test ♪ ♪ Turns out I’m a 100% that bread ♪ Please, heavenly Jesus. I just like to watch the yeast
rise back up from the bottom. At least something’s
being uplifted (titters). (sobs) Oh, God, I just wanna make bread. What is the problem here? Best if used by April 8th, 2020. Sorry, flour, it’s not
looking good for us (laughs). It’s fine, nah, I didn’t wanna make bread. I’m not even hungry (sighs). I could just buy bread if I want. (sighs) One more time, okay, just one more time. (water plashing) Hmm. Oh, it’s been way more than five minutes. Oh, God, we’re late and, no! Worst one I’ve done so far (laughs). Ugh, I’ve tried everything, okay, except for the right things to do. Tune in next week where I also
try to make (laughs) bread.

100 Comments

  • Reply Theresa Holloway July 29, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    I've never laughed so hard. I'm NEVER making bread…… EVER!!! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

  • Reply Sarah Holder July 30, 2019 at 12:21 am

    Please turn that into a real track and put it on iTunes. That was …. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Hayden Odom July 30, 2019 at 12:46 am

    Can you do a vid on how to make a bath bomb

  • Reply ShadowBranch July 30, 2019 at 2:58 am

    I've made all kinds of bread and your yeasty bois were just fine to start a good dough. Don't listen to that youtube channel. You had it just fine.

    "Come on everybody and make some noise
    It's time for yeasty bois!"

  • Reply Jordan Lampton July 30, 2019 at 3:21 am

    Ok the freestyle was actually fire

  • Reply Cassadee Creeks July 30, 2019 at 8:15 am

    Shit he can rap?! Awesome

  • Reply Emily M July 30, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    108 degrees. Well that's what she said

  • Reply Mayte Saucedo July 30, 2019 at 5:34 pm

    Omg I laughed so hard ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Nicole Drysdale July 30, 2019 at 11:44 pm

    Wheat Montana for the win! Montana here and itโ€™s always awesome to see the local things around the country:)

  • Reply immalogangster July 30, 2019 at 11:51 pm

    Bro if YouTube doesn't work out, you can be a rapper

  • Reply codeamberstarsparks July 31, 2019 at 3:59 pm

    First off honey is harder for yeast to digest. Sugar is what you need. They eat it and rise.

  • Reply ShallowGacha Chan July 31, 2019 at 8:29 pm

    That song should be on the trending page ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Elektro July 31, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    nobody:

    absolutely no one:

    brandon:*brings a piano into kitchen just to play music from phone*

  • Reply Sarah Keim August 1, 2019 at 2:12 am

    The amount of yeast in your sink ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ you had it right every single time, you just needed to continue with the steps and add flour. As a pastry chef, Iโ€™m honestly cracking up at this one, you made it entertaining. ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ

  • Reply Krista Nosek August 1, 2019 at 3:37 am

    Are you supposed to add flour to that mixture? I don't know what you're expecting from water and yeast and honey LOL

  • Reply MissParadoxx August 1, 2019 at 5:42 am

    I want to download that bread rap.

  • Reply Mukai Deleon August 1, 2019 at 7:15 am

    Iโ€™m sorry but weโ€™re you not supposed to add flour??? Iโ€™m confused what it was you were trying to accomplish

  • Reply jenny colburn August 1, 2019 at 7:23 pm

    So funny! It was good..every..single..time..๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ

  • Reply Darkangel alj John August 1, 2019 at 7:53 pm

    Duddddddeeeee the yeast was fine the first time ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Kamryn H August 1, 2019 at 8:12 pm

    so is nobody gonna talk about how good he is of singing when you slow the singing down ?

  • Reply happy cat August 2, 2019 at 4:18 am

    Did anyone notice he didn't use the flour

  • Reply Garvis Powelm mm mm mm mm mm m ml m ml ml l August 3, 2019 at 12:07 pm

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…. YOU GOTTA MIX THE YEAST INTO THE WATER…

  • Reply -Iโ€™mHereBecauseIWantToBe- August 3, 2019 at 6:01 pm

    Please re-try this bread making now that you have your advice from the commenters

  • Reply Kaycie Fowler August 3, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    He needs a gf ir something๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply bethpottle August 3, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    Be patient. Donโ€™t rush the yeast.
    Active dry yeast doesnโ€™t need honey or sugar to bloom… unless there isnโ€™t additional sugar in the recipe.
    Just make sure the water is warm. In the meantime, start your other ingredients going.
    Iโ€™ve been using the same recipes or years and it turns out awesome every time.

  • Reply KK Rose August 4, 2019 at 4:38 am

    I canโ€™t heโ€™s so funny ๐Ÿ˜‚ lol๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿคช๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  • Reply Nyah White August 4, 2019 at 6:21 am

    also dont you have to add flour and btw i love your videos

  • Reply Sammy Wells August 4, 2019 at 7:12 am

    Gotta do it quick…honey,yes dear

  • Reply Brooklyn Correll August 4, 2019 at 5:34 pm

    Does he wear makeup? Or just have flawless skin?๐Ÿ˜‚ (not hate)

  • Reply kirstenmariusTV โ€ข August 5, 2019 at 1:31 am

    0:00

    โ€œThat beginning thought ๐Ÿ˜‚โ€

    โ€œOuch ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคญโ€

    โ€œ๐Ÿ˜ฑโ™ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚โœจ๐Ÿคฏโ€

  • Reply Yourboishrek August 5, 2019 at 9:45 am

    That rap though it was actually ๐Ÿ”ฅ

  • Reply Adriada Versaile August 5, 2019 at 12:35 pm

    Dunno what YouTube video you were watching to make that bread but you don't need to be throwing away all that yeast it was activated perfectly

  • Reply DarkJedi Elite August 5, 2019 at 2:24 pm

    You can sing bro

  • Reply Madison Gilley August 5, 2019 at 11:56 pm

    shouldโ€™ve wisked the yeast

  • Reply Rosie Posie August 6, 2019 at 3:01 am

    NO ITS FINE JUST PUT IN THE OTHER INGREDIENTS ITS ALREADY R I S I N G ITS FIIIINNNEEE

  • Reply Mass Peavy August 6, 2019 at 6:54 am

    You should sing more

  • Reply Christon Jackson August 6, 2019 at 9:36 am

    "I don't enjoy ad revenue anyway"

    I LOST IT.

  • Reply Thalia Cordero August 6, 2019 at 12:50 pm

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ what is it doing ๐Ÿคบ๐Ÿคบ it looks like a yeast infection๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply itz just meh August 7, 2019 at 5:17 am

    I've got standards,their not high but their there

    – Brandon

  • Reply Callista Proutey August 7, 2019 at 6:02 am

    โ€œLooks like a yeast infectionโ€ ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ PLEASE try again ๐Ÿ˜ญ

  • Reply liv Osborne August 7, 2019 at 10:33 am

    – i just to like to watch the yeast rise up from the bottom… At least something is uplifting ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply ShianneGames Plays August 7, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    Okay but like why is he actually good at rapping๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿค™๐Ÿฝ

  • Reply Tรญmea Botos August 7, 2019 at 7:12 pm

    2:24 which song is thaaaat?

  • Reply kathleen Ahasteen August 7, 2019 at 11:00 pm

    Now make "Fry Bread" lol

  • Reply MoonlightSpookie_ Potato August 8, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    I honestly think his yeast was dead like he got bad yeast

  • Reply Tavia Nuttall August 8, 2019 at 11:53 pm

    You forgot the flour

  • Reply Kenzie Wolf August 9, 2019 at 7:20 pm

    Did you add the flower

  • Reply Koi Hiller August 9, 2019 at 10:28 pm

    You are supposed to put sugar and not honey

  • Reply Olisa.vlogs P August 10, 2019 at 2:27 am

    5:15 omg Im deaddd peirodt๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  • Reply Lauryn Jasso August 10, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    brandon got bars ๐Ÿ’ฏ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Breeze Fitch August 10, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    The best rapper = Eminem โŒ
    The best rapper = brandon farris โœ…

  • Reply not_henrys_mom August 10, 2019 at 8:28 pm

    That intro tho

  • Reply Alexandria Lodge August 11, 2019 at 2:08 am

    Dude the 4th time your yeast was perfect and ready for you to start adding flour. Yes making bread is hard next time buy kernels and grind your wheat and then sift it and then make the bread. Water temperature is like 175 i think and then 1/2 cup of honey and oil 2 TBS of yeast 1 tsp salt. Flour until the dough is the right consistency. Knead dough. Punch dough. Let rise for 30min or longer. Bake at 350 for an hour

  • Reply Jo Jo August 11, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    You needed to put flour yeast and salt in one bowl honey and warm water in another and then mix them both together let it sit until it doubles in size then press it all down and leave it to sit for another ten minutes. Then bake

  • Reply Stooper August 11, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    Cool

  • Reply Mrs Sweet pea August 11, 2019 at 8:44 pm

    When he started to rap ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply hailey 2910 August 11, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    Your ment to leave it for 5hours

  • Reply Cheyenne Maginity!! August 11, 2019 at 9:27 pm

    Omg the intro had me DEAD lol ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  • Reply Brooke South August 12, 2019 at 4:50 am

    It looked fine every single time ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Russell Marsh August 13, 2019 at 2:18 am

    Mr. Baird's, the wife took over

  • Reply Russell Marsh August 13, 2019 at 2:20 am

    3:59 velocibrandon

  • Reply that one girl August 13, 2019 at 3:55 am

    When he made hus iwn rap to tbe music of lose your self that made my dad

  • Reply loubilou msp August 13, 2019 at 3:01 pm

    'Make bread'๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ That's me when I'm drawing 'DRAW A GOD DAMN FACE'

  • Reply Lily Flower August 13, 2019 at 5:02 pm

    lol you just need to whisk it before you wait๐Ÿ˜

  • Reply Grayson Thomas August 13, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    Why is no one talking about โ€œ you can only fall so many times before itโ€™s the big one okay โ€œ

  • Reply fifteenwheel5 m August 14, 2019 at 12:03 am

    You didnโ€™t put the flour in it ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Pat Lessard August 14, 2019 at 3:37 am

    2:37 : what is WrONg with YoU!

  • Reply Always Anything August 14, 2019 at 5:21 am

    The intro tho I donโ€™t know if I died or if I just went insane while I was laughing

  • Reply Always Anything August 14, 2019 at 5:22 am

    0:00–0:18

  • Reply Toxic August 14, 2019 at 7:24 am

    OMG YOU LISTEN TO LOGIC?

  • Reply Sonia Childers August 14, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    The yeast would have worked! When it foams itโ€™s means itโ€™s active! And then when you add the flash were it will rise

  • Reply hanemb1 August 14, 2019 at 4:07 pm

    when he started singing lol!!!!!

  • Reply Zoey Baker August 14, 2019 at 7:03 pm

    You need to sit it in the sun ๐Ÿคฆ

  • Reply gaby95209 August 14, 2019 at 11:08 pm

    This reminded me of advanced biochemistry lab all over again! โ€œWhy isnโ€™t my enzyme hydrolyzing the starch!?!?โ€

  • Reply Exploring Tube August 15, 2019 at 3:36 am

    What mic are you using

  • Reply Kat Schlumpf August 15, 2019 at 5:28 am

    Trick for your yeast experiments: thoroughly finger your yeast. Break up the yeast as it grows. Rub the little beads and break them up while they saturate. And it's honestly easier to thoroughly dissolve the sugar in the hot water before you add the yeast

  • Reply gracie ericksen August 15, 2019 at 3:28 pm

    You forgot the sugar so that the yeast can eat and become a big bread and not a wimpy bread.

  • Reply Lps Mimi August 15, 2019 at 3:31 pm

    I didn't fine the yeast infection funny, as I had one when I was five, and currently have one now…it's very painful and unconfortable

  • Reply Abby Koskinen August 15, 2019 at 7:22 pm

    Is it me or does he always wear the same shirt ๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Ireland Fluff August 16, 2019 at 3:53 pm

    3:11 Can I buy that song on Spotify?

  • Reply Candice Patterson August 16, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    Am I the only one that thinks that his rap was kinda good

  • Reply Angelina/Aaliyah August 17, 2019 at 1:44 am

    Um…did you put in flour

  • Reply StarriSkys August 18, 2019 at 4:21 am

    You had it it right! It was supposed to look like that!!!!

  • Reply madred737 August 19, 2019 at 2:48 am

    please please please post a video of you actually singing

  • Reply dantrell Wilkes August 19, 2019 at 4:31 am

    Uh, YEEast๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply Betty Yazelle August 19, 2019 at 8:03 am

    you are not only hot but hilarious. couldnt stop laughing til i cried

  • Reply Kylee R August 20, 2019 at 4:00 am

    The fact that hes talking bath water literal.. hahah

  • Reply Hao Ho August 20, 2019 at 6:05 am

    5:05 "SHUT UP" and talks to him self

  • Reply Abbi Mahurin August 20, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    It was working

  • Reply Breeze_ Epic_Gacha August 20, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    help i just laughed for 2 hour straight. off the first part๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚ Me:dying of laughter

    Brandon:Runs into the counter

  • Reply Nightmare August 22, 2019 at 3:11 am

    Omg ur are so funny i almost peed my pants

  • Reply ihoney jam August 22, 2019 at 3:42 pm

    my mom says u didn't put flour in an u need flour

  • Reply Allison Collinson August 22, 2019 at 11:33 pm

    did you put flour salt eat or just yeast.

  • Reply Chelsea Johnson August 23, 2019 at 12:25 pm

    Your yeast was perfect every time. Have more faith in yourself.

  • Reply justsayin ok August 23, 2019 at 10:46 pm

    Nobody:

    Literaly nobody:

    Brandon:Reads Harry Potter in Mexican

  • Reply Simon Ramirez August 24, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚all the hater say this is fake playing music from his phone and with the piano

  • Reply Elizabeth Gibson August 25, 2019 at 2:09 am

    Bruh his lyrics are fire like 100% gold bars ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ‘Œ

  • Reply Kristina Hill August 25, 2019 at 3:14 am

    Your song was awesome ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ”ฅ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply no, its patrick August 25, 2019 at 1:31 pm

    "i got standards, there not high, but there there" Never related so hard to something in ma life ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

  • Reply Brock Molchany August 27, 2019 at 5:54 pm

    Straight bars

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