TIMB Boise 2019 – Jenni Meyers

December 7, 2019

I stand before you today a victim a survivor a warrior and an advocate My poetry is something very personal to me and it’s taken me a level of bravery I didn’t know I had to stand up here and share it with you today I’ve lived in the shadows of trauma nearly all my life it seemed to be in a loop up until my 30s and It’s my creative spark That leads me through in the dark So the first poem I’m going to share with you is called Ask For Help. I See the need to ask for help and then I feel ashamed of myself Why can’t I do this on my own when all I wanted was a home I Know I have the keys inside me the tools inside me. I really just can’t find this one key The key that will unlock the door and show me what I’m waiting for. Oh I know I need to ask for help but trust it’s up on that high shelf and Well, I need a chair Will that help me face my fear She called me out I asked for help and Now I see that courage lays inside of me Thank you Next poem I’m about to share with you is in reference to triggers I I know everybody has experienced those in their lifetime I would imagine and this is for me when they became really overwhelming on a daily basis and I had to find a way to move through that fear and So this is this is my ode to triggers So this is my life as it triggers me over and over I continue to stand sorry and I cannot falter So these are the memories that life left me? How do I see them and change the fucking outcome? from addict from victim to addict from daughter to mother From mother to father I continue to stand and I cannot falter Stay strong just keep going for you’re a survivor. I leave my victim in the sands of time and tell her she will never shine She is weak. She’s too forgiving and bitterness grows How could she let them put their hands on her How could she freeze and let it be? On and on her little light grows From all those things. She can’t let go So now she’s not just the victim For she’s a survivor and a warrior She’ll continue to stand and she will not falter. This piece was written after I started processing my traumas I Know it was time to take back those pieces and parts of me that had been lost in the shadows and It’s my letter to trauma Dear trauma I See you I see your sorrow and your pain I feel the anger rope me in and the loop begin again The way you made me pay for all of the unseen But guess what? I also see that we’re all human beings. I stand in accountability for all of my low flow Let’s raise that vibration to something that is known It takes healing it takes feeling. So walk through that red door Feel the fire in your soul drowning in the water as you go learn to swim Find those fins so you can learn to soar For dear trauma, I will not be your scapegoat anymore. My final piece originated for from affirmations about 12 years ago I Am love. We are love. I am light. We are light We will fight with all our might to Be your mother sister friend and Stand with you until the end So when you feel that darkness calling Be the light and let’s keep climbing Thank you You

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