Articles

Thrush: The Musical 2

September 3, 2019


This is your captain speaking. Please fasten your seat-belts, because it’s
going to be a bumpy ride! Mads you okay? Yeah yeah. I just shouldn’t have bought those cheap
poly-blend undies. Mmmmmhmm. What’s going on down there? I don’t know – it’s a bit stingy, bit itchy,
kinda burny. What do you think it is? Don’t look at me, I’m not a doctor! Just between us… I didn’t even graduate flight school. I’m kidding!! Ladies! You’ve left the PA on…AGAIN. But if you’ve got an itch… We’ve got you! Ladies I’m afraid this is a turbulent zone I’ve got a package for you to take control on your own… I’m feeling funky down here, put my mind
to rest Use the Canesten pH Self Test, [self test!] To self-diagnose if it’s thrush below, Results in seconds, give us a show!? You try play it cool, nonchalant, be funny, When all’s on your mind is your itchy punani So now we’re inspectin’ for the yeast
infection One way trip to the loo, tests for bacteria too! Pop the hood, swob it good, no need to be shy. Kinder on your vag than a New York redeye. Come on jet setters let’s unite! And take this test while we’re in flight! Grab it off the shelf of your pharmacy
Like that pash and dash at the Christmas party Gotta look out for your coochie coo, Vaginal health should never be tabooooooo! Well that was certainly so discreet Was it though? I’m b-b-back in control – how’s the
window seat?! Fine. First stop after customs is the pharmacist
To get her thrush treatment, do you get the gist? Yep. I’m hopin’ yall can handle that it’s thrush
that I have Now, tray tables up while we do our jazz! I really like all your pop and lock,
But next could we do a song and dance about my… Cock pit! Right where our number started
Bet you weren’t expecting this when we departed Sorry gents, this ain’t about your ding
a ling Now turn up the bass, let’s hear economy SING! You really haven’t flown an airplane before
have you. Though my qualifications ain’t legit
I know the ins and outs of the landing strip CHEERING Come on jet setters let’s unite! And take this test while we’re in flight Buy it off the shelf of your pharmacy Then grab a john while we fly to Germany YA! Come on jet setters let’s unite! And take this test while we’re in flight! Come on sisters it’s just for you
First class treatment for your coochie coo! Um…who is flying the plane!? Drinks anyone?!

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