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The Worst “Viral Videos” with Drew Gooden

December 30, 2019

Drew: WHAT’S UP DANNY It’s Greg back with another HILARIOUS Youtube video– Danny: Can I please go? I promise I’ll be home by six!
[Drew still talking in the background] Danny: I don’t have any homework, I’m 23! Danny: Mom, come on! Can you put dad back on the phone, he’s– Drew: …and he has a girlfriend. Drew: And they’re very funny, and–
Danny: I’ll call you back… [spooky music begins to play]
Drew: And they say things like, “let’s go get a sandwich!” Drew: You guys gotta see it. This guy’s crazy! Drew: He’s 7 feet tall, he’s 100 pounds, and he wears biiig shirts, and he lifts them up. Danny: Hello? Danny: What are you doing?
Drew: I’m making a video. Danny: How did you get in here?
Drew: Through the toilet. Danny: Okay.
Drew: Okkaay Drew: What’s up Danny, it’s Greg, back with another hilarious Youtube video. Drew: I’m here with a special guest, guest of the week, Danny Gonzalez. Danny: It’s me, Danny Gonzalez, and welcome back to my Youtube channel. Danny: And this is my very special guest, Drew Gooden. Drew: It’s my show, but I’m honored to be here. Danny: Welcome back to another special episode of… Drew: Two white guys watch Internet. The Internet. Danny: For money!
Drew: For money–we do it for money. Danny: We do it mostly for money.
Drew: Exclusively for money. Danny: So I just found the craziest Instagram account that I’ve probably ever seen. Danny: It’s called @viralreactionvids. Have you ever seen this account? Drew: No, I’m really excited to, though. Danny: So you can–
Drew: I love crazy shit. I can see by some of the thumbnails here. Drew: Like this is–there’s a whole variety of things here, but they’re all crazy, and I can’t wait to react to them. Danny: All of these videos are insane. I mean you can tell, like this one with the meat tent? Drew: This dude’s about to get run over by a train. Danny: This one’s got underwear in it. Drew: This guy’s wearing pizza. [Danny laughing]
Drew: This guy’s got cactus foot. Danny: I found this on the Instagram explore page, it’s got 46,000 followers. Danny: And they just post crazy shit. So I’m gonna show you one of their videos. Drew: Okay.
Danny: So, which one do you wanna watch first? Drew: I’m a sucker for underwear, so I think I wanna see why they’re filling up this underwear with water. Danny: Okay! Let’s check it out. [bad dubstep music from video]
[forced laughter from Danny] [more forced laughter] Danny: So what’d you think? Drew: Was that–was that the whole video? Danny: Well I mean there’s more, but what do you think right off the bat? Drew: Right off the bat, I’m wondering who’s wearing the underwear. Danny: Okay, yeah, I’m sure we’ll get there. Drew: Surely, the guy’s wearing the underwear, and the alien’s gonna come up and pour water in it. Drew: ‘Cause, surely this isn’t total clickbait, and it’s gotta have what was in the thumbnail. Danny: The alien’s gonna come up, take the guy’s underwear off, put it in the sink– Drew: Go home, put it in the sink
Danny [laughing]: Put some water in it. Drew: Come back like an hour later, the guy’s still there underwearless, oblivious. Danny: Still sitting on the bench!
Drew: Just waiting. Drew: I–uh yeah, okay, so what happens? [continued bad dubstep music] [music box theme playing] Danny: It’s saying to follow @greatestreactions, a different account? Drew: Fine. Okay, well that was–you wanted to show me that? Danny: Yeah, wasn’t it cool?
Drew: No, it was fucking stupid, nothing happened. Danny: Well they–there was an alien–
Drew: Alright–okay fine– Drew: Yeah, I saw the alien. I’m not gonna judge the whole account though, that was one video. Drew: Uh… let’s watch, I guess this tent made out of meat? I don’t know. Danny: Yeah, I wonder what that’s all about.
Drew: Yeah, I do too. Danny: Okay, so let’s check that out. [bad dubstep music] Danny, through forced laughter: Aw, nice!
Drew: You’re happy about this? Danny: Yeah, it’s this alien video again! I love this video!
Drew: Yeah, but we already watched this video. Drew: Also, it cuts off everytime and tells you to follow @greatestreactions, I don’t wanna follow that page. Drew: Okay, what about this horse-shark? Surely that’s not clickbait. Drew: Because if you’re gonna take the time to photoshop that thumbnail, it’s not just gonna be some bullshit. Drew: You know? It’s gonna be a horse-shark.
Danny: Right. So there’s no way in hell. Drew: I’m saying no way.
Danny: Absolutely no way that this is gonna be the alien video. Drew: I say it’s 0% chance.
Danny: Okay. Drew: You wanna bet on it? Well we both are–
Danny: Yeah. So if it’s not the alien video, we both win $100. [both laughing]
Drew: By whoever wants to give us $100. Danny: Okay. So if we’re right, everybody has to pledge $100 to both of our Patreons. Drew: I’ll start one just for this, deal.
Danny: Okay. [bad dubstep] Drew: OH GOD DAMN IT
Danny: FUCK! [laughing] Drew: I like how this guy says, “Ugh, stop posting the same dang things, I’m unfollowing.” Drew: So he was following them?
Danny: Yeah. Drew: So he was like, he was holding on hope that they would eventually stop duping him. Danny [laughing]: Post something other than the alien video. Drew: Come on! I have so much faith in you to stop doing this, based on nothing. Drew: Hot dog. She’s got hot dogs in her mouth. Danny: I love hot dogs.
Drew: I love hot dogs! Danny: I love hot dogs.
Drew: I love hot dogs!
(yes they said this twice) Drew: So we both love hot dogs, let’s see what’s going on with this video. Danny: She loves hot dogs.
Drew: I think she does! Drew: If she doesn’t love hot dogs, she’s having a miserable time.
[Danny laughing] Danny: It’s the worst day of her life! Okay, let’s check it out. [dubstep] Drew: oh my gooood Drew: I’m not gonna lie, I like when girls show their little tooshies, I like girls’ butts, I’M STRAIGHT Danny: Oh yeah! This looks fun. I’m a straight guy as well, so… Drew: I’m straight guy, white guy, straight guy!
Danny: Straight guy white guy! Drew: So let’s see what these butts is all about!
Danny: Let’s see what these butts is all about. Drew: Let’s get up close and personal with these Butts. Come on butt! [dubstep] Danny: Okay, so– [more dubstep] Danny: I think he’s gonna show his butt in this one.
Drew: I don’t think he’s gonna show his butt, I think it’s gonna be the same video, Danny! Drew: I think this is gonna be the same–
Danny: No, no, no, see? Here he goes, he’s about to show his butt, and… Danny: Aw, okay. Yeah, so–
Drew: Yeah, no. Do you see what’s happening? Danny: Yeah.
Drew: Have you caught on yet? ‘Cause I feel like I’m noticing a trend. Danny: Yeah. It cuts off every time right before he’s gonna show his butt. Danny: All it wants us to do is follow this “great reactions” account. Drew: Okay. Well at least we can get some–’cause I got blue balls over here. Drew: I got viral video blue balls over here, I gotta–
Danny: I’ve got actual blue balls, I wanted to see those girls’ butts! Drew: And they’re private.
Danny: Okay. It’s just like that video you did. Drew: It’s just like that video I did. Guys, watch that video I did. Drew: I don’t wanna follow them, fuck this guy.
Danny: I wanna follow them. Drew: Alright, well that’s your problem.
Danny: I hope they–oh, it’s requested. So they have to– Drew: Yeah, they gotta approve.
Danny: Well, I hope they approve me! Drew: Yeah.
Danny: Do you think they’ll look at my profile and just make sure I’m cool? Drew: Yeah, I think they do very thorough background checks.
[Danny laughing] Drew: They only let the best in, which is why they only have like 9 million followers. Danny: So what’s this guy’s taste in comedy like, before we let him check out our profile page? Drew: Hmm. Yeah, we don’t want him to come in here and really stink the place up! Danny: We wanna make sure that when we finally show him what that alien does, that he really appreciates it. Drew: Yeah.
Danny: I will! I promise, no matter what happens! Drew: No matter what, okay?
Danny: Even if he doesn’t show his butt, I’m still gonna like the video. Drew: You know, [sighs] I gotta say, this page, at first it was pissing me off, I just wanted to see the butts, the meat tent! Danny: I know I just wanna–I wanna see the butts! Drew: I wanna see the underwear! But after a while, I started to change my tune. Drew: I feel like it’s good to get the same thing over and over again, you know? I don’t wanna be challenged. Danny: Yeah! That’s why I like a lot of TV shows, like uh–
Drew: What’s.. happening? Uh, no, what’s it called– Drew: Family Matters.
Danny: Family Matters, right, with Steve Urkel, you always know he’s gonna say: [simultaneously]
Danny: “Was that me?”
Drew: “That’s not my fault!” Danny: Uh..
Drew: What does he do? Who is he? [simultaneously]
Danny: He says, “That wasn’t me!”
Drew: “That’s not what–I do–I did!” Danny: Yeah, something like that.
Drew: Yeah. Drew: It’s safe. It makes you feel like you’re home, and like your mommy’s like “Don’t worry, you’re a good boy, and nothing scary will ever happen.” Danny: Yeah. Every video you click on, you know what you’re in for– Danny: You know what? I have another account that’s kind of like that.
Drew: Oh really? Danny: You might actually like it because of that.
Drew: Yeah, I like that, I wanna feel safe. Danny: I found this the other day, it’s called @robiiiworld.
Drew: Oooh! Danny: He’s got 536,000 followers.
Drew: Robi! Danny: Okay, well let’s watch one of his videos. Let’s see… Danny: #trash, #sex, #bed, #sex. [Danny laughing]
Drew: Yeah, alright, all the sex, trash, and all the sex hastags, and then immediately it’s Drew: “Warning! This is just a skit, no nudity or sexist activity was not shown or promoted!” Drew: So none of it was not shown? He’s saying that there is nudity? Danny: “This is just a skit, no nudity or sexist activity was not shown” Danny: There is no nudity that wasn’t shown in this! We showed it all! Drew: Every nudity you’ve ever seen is in this video. Drew: So, I’m excited. I think we’re finally gonna get our rocks off. [vocalizing pop music in the background]
Rob: Baby, are you ready to do this? Woman: You just want me for sex! [track scratches to a stop]
Rob: Nooo! Drew: Okay, so the first line already was like “Are you ready to do this?” implying “Are you ready to have sex?” Drew: And she’s like, “You only want me for sex!” before sex? Danny: “So do you wanna have sex?” “You just want me to have sex!” Danny: Yeah, well we were about to do that…
Drew: Yeah. Rob: Of course not baby, I love you! You’re the only girl I wanna be with! Rob: [explosion sound] I was finna get ready to propose to you! Wanna marry me? [explosion] Danny: I like that. [mimicks explosion] “You wanna marry me?” [mimicks explosion] Danny: He’s really taking that Instagram sound effect thing to the next level. Just throwing it in whenever the fuck he wants. Drew: And amping it way up. Rob: Kiss begins with K..mart! [explosion] Rob: You know I’m loaded, I’ve got money, doing promos everyday! [explosion] Everyday! [explosion] [repeated explosion sounds] Drew: We know! Jeez!
Danny: he blew out my speakers Rob: …to my Bobby. You’re the crack to my body. [explosion] Rob: Girl, you know it’s more than sex, baby, so let’s do this! Woman: Okay, boy. Narrator: Twelve seconds later… [vocalizing pop music playing]
[woman gasping] Woman: That was good, Rob, what’d you think? [record scratching] [dramatic music playing]
Rob: I gotta go. Danny: Oh no, wait, where’s he going?
Drew: I thought he was about more than just sex! Woman: Rob, where you going? Rob: I got! to go! Woman: Boy, don’t play with me, we married! Rob: Gotta go. Danny: He doesn’t care that they’re married, he’s just gotta go. Drew: They’re married and he’s gotta go! Where’s he gonna go?? Danny: He’s naked!
[laughing] Drew: Put on some clothes and then you can go! Woman: I think I’m pregnant. [explosion] [explosion] Rob: Here’s my half of the abortion. [explosion] Rob: I gotta go. [both laughing]
Danny: Jesus! Here’s my half of the abortion– [explosion] [both still laughing]
Danny: Ow! Drew: That poor woman! Surely she’s dead, based only on the sound of that impact. Danny: Dead of a broken heart, probably.
Drew: Well, that too. Danny: That’s the end of the video.
Drew: Okay so, all I got from that was, he loves sex, he lies, but he’s gotta go. Danny: Yeah. If you want anything more than sex,
Danny & Drew: He’s got to go! Drew: You were saying that he has a catchphrase. Is it that he only likes sex? Danny: Well, I’ll show you another one of his videos and maybe you’ll get it. Danny: So this one is “When bae have a lot of kids.” Drew: Yeah, sometimes she do.
Danny: #daddy, #kids, #babysitter, #boys, #girls. Drew: I like that he hashtagged every type of kid. Like kids, boys, girls, but who’s searching #boys?? Or #babysitter? Danny: Man, I love your videos. I found them one day when I was going through #boys. [same vocalizing pop music]
[knocking] Woman: Hey.
Rob: Oh, hey, what’s up bae? Woman: Thank you so much for having me come, but I couldn’t find a babysitter! Rob: You got kids? Oh, I love kids! Danny: Oh, what a great guy! He loves kids, he doesn’t care that this single mother has kids. Drew: He’s really nice. You know, after the first one I thought that this guy is a little scummy. Danny: Yeah.
Drew: But now, to be honest, I really feel like he’s turned the tables. Danny: He did have to go, but now? He’s here to stay. Woman: So, you do like kids?
Rob: Oh yeah! Woman: Awesome!
[record scratching] Woman: This is my daughter. [explosion]
Rob: Okay. Woman: This is– [explosion]
Rob: Two? [explosion]
Rob: Three? [explosion]
Rob: Four? [explosion]
Rob: Okay, five? Danny: Wait a minute, how many kids does this girl have? Drew: How many kids does she have? Woman: And uh, my oldest. [explosion] [explosion] Rob: I’m not a babysitter! [explosion] Bitch, you a Boys and Girls Club! [explosion] Danny: See, this is what I was telling you about his videos. You know he’s gonna play the sound effect at least 800 times. Drew: At least 800 times, which is truly impressive. [dramatic music playing]
Rob: I gotta go. [explosion] Children in unison: Dad, where you going?? Drew: That’s my question! Where’s he going?? He’s got kids now! You can’t walk out on your kids! Danny: Look, he’s gotta go dude. This is obviously way too many kids for him.
Drew: For sure. Danny: And you know he’s got places to be.
Drew: Yeah, he’s got places to be. Drew: But, where does he go?
Danny: I don’t know, let’s see. Rob: I got! to go! Woman: But you said you liked kids! Rob: Gotta go. Danny: It looks like he’s just gesturing back to his own apartment. [laughing] Drew: “Look, I gotta go!” Without closing the door, he’s just going back inside. Drew: They just kinda follow him in. “No, I’ve got to go!” He goes into the other room. Danny: They’re like, “Okay, we’ll come!” He’s like, “NO” Drew: “No! I GOT to GO!” Danny: Eventually he just backs himself into his own closet.
[both laughing] Danny: And they just keep following him into his apartment. Oldest son: They always leave! [explosion] Woman: How are you gonna go?! This is your spot; we came over here! Rob: You right. I gotta go. [explosion as the door shuts] Voiceover of end credit: ROB! GOTTA GO! Drew: Ohh, so that’s like his thing? Danny: That’s his catchphrase! That’s why I love his videos. You always know no matter what happens, no matter what troubles life throws at him, he’s gotta go. Drew: I feel safe with this guy! That’s what I was seeking, and I found it. Drew: But, I guess my concern is, this has to get old after a while. Drew: He’s got a lot of followers, surely they don’t wanna see him do the same thing every time. Danny: Right, which is why he makes videos like this one. Drew: Oh, this’ll be different?
Danny: Well, um… [rap song about pregaming playing]
Rob & Friend: DOWN IT! DOWN IT! DOWN IT! [Friend 2 yelling triumphantly] Danny: I like that the music tells you what’s going on. The music’s saying “It’s a pregame, pregame” so that you know that they’re pregaming. Drew: But also so does the caption, so they really don’t miss a chance to tell me what’s going on. Danny: Mmhmm. #drink, #pregame, #alchol. Drew: Oooh!
Danny: Al-chol!
Drew, laughing: Al-chol!! Danny: I found your video through the #alchol!
Drew: Al-chol! Drew: You were the only one! Weird.
[Danny laughing] Danny: Actually, let’s see if there is anything else in #alchol. Danny: Oh, there’s lots.
Drew: There’s a looot. Danny: There’s way too many people that don’t know how to spell alcohol. Drew: Well, it’s funny that a lot of them are empty bottles–or, one of them was empty bottles. Drew: Wait–the same girl twice in a row? Danny: I’m Pregnant! #alchol! Drew: No more al-chol for me!
Danny: Plenty of al-chol while I’m pregnant! Friend 2: Rob! Rob: Tch! Man I ain’t no bitch! [explosion]
Rob: This is just the pregame. Drew: Yeah, he’s not a bitch. Danny: He’s not a bitch. He doesn’t like spending time with women, or women with kids, but he’s not a bitch. Drew: He walks out the moment he has a chance, but he ain’t no bitch! [record scratching] [explosion as the drop lands] Danny: Ooh, that drop made a loud noise when it hit his tongue. Drew: Yeah. I’m noticing–does he think that everything sounds like that? Like, maybe he’s exaggerating, or maybe that’s just his perception of noises. Drew: If so, what a terrifying life to live, walking around, someone closes a door–[explosion] [Danny yelling & Drew laughing] Drew: You take a small slurp. [explosion as Danny drinks]
[Drew yelling in fear] [dramatic music beginning]
Rob: Ooh, I’m a little tipsy. [explosion]
Rob: I gotta go. [explosion]
Friend 2: Rob! Where you going? Drew: He just got there!
Danny: It’s the pregame, they haven’t even gone out yet! Drew: They haven’t even gamed, or post-gamed! Rob: I got! to go! Friend 1: But Rob! This is just the pregame, bro! [explosion] Danny: He’s not gonna say “I gotta go” again, do you think? Danny: He’s probably said it enough at this point.
Drew: Yeah. I think for one video, he’s said it enough. Rob: Gotta go. Danny: Okay, well he–
Drew: He said it again, yeah. Danny: Well, it seems like all of his other friends are drunk now too. Danny: I think the joke would hold up better if–
Drew: No one was drunk, yeah. Danny: Yeah, except him. But now his other friend is–
Drew: He’s like shitfaced.
Danny: Yeah. [Rob yawns]
[explosion as his head hits the pillow] Rob: I gotta go.
[falling noise] Voiceover for end credits: ROB! GOTTA GO Danny: ROOOBB!!! [Danny & Drew laughing] Drew: Yeah, in case you guys weren’t aware of my catchphrase, I scream it at the top of my lungs at the end of every video. Drew: Rob! GOTTA GO! Danny: Let’s see if he has any other good videos. He has lots of butts on his page, which is really nice. Drew: That’s hot.
Danny: As a young boy who likes butts? Drew: As two straight guys? Drew: We Love *Girl* Butts.
Danny: Girl butts. Danny: Only girl butts. Danny: “When bae is Asian”! Drew: I like how most “when bae” videos are specific situations, but “when bae is Asian” is always true. Drew: If she’s Asian, that’s always applicable.
Danny: Stop being Asian, bae! Drew, chuckling: When bae is Asian. Drew: Do you think there’s any chance that this could be… racist? Danny: I don’t think there’s much chance of this being racist.
Drew: Or him having to go. Danny: Yeah. 0% chance of it being racist, 3% chance of him having to go.
Drew: 100% chance we’re gonna laugh hysterically. Danny: Yep, 100% chance of comedy.
Drew: Absolutely. Rob, laughing: Hey, to tell you the truth, this is my first time dating an Asian. Woman: Oh! [explosion] Drew: Is there like, a little progress bar on this video? Danny: Yeah, see, it’s counting down to when he says he’s gotta go. [Drew & Danny laughing] Danny: We’re only a third of the way there!
Drew: I can’t wait for the “I gotta go”! Danny: I have to get through all this racist shit just to see him say “I gotta go”!
Drew: Just to see him say his catchphrase! Woman: Really?
Rob: Yeah.
Woman: Really, Robi? Woman: You want me to cook you something to eat? Rob: Yeah, sure, I can go for something to eat. Woman: Okay, I got you.
Rob: Okay, cool. [pots hitting each other, quacking] Rob: Hey babe, is everything alright in the kitchen? Woman: Honey, you hungry? [extremely racist song playing]
♪ Ching Chong Chang Chong Ching Chong Bitch ♪ Danny: What the fuck is that song?! Danny: Okay you know what, I know Rob’s better than this. He’s not gonna make this whole racist video. Danny: You know what he’s gonna do–
Drew: The Rob I know is better than this! Danny: He’s gonna stop the whole video, and do a meta thing, where he’s like “This whole concept is racist, I gotta go.” [Drew laughing]
Danny: Wouldn’t that be great? Danny: I don’t know–what, so she’s cooking the duck? Danny: I’m just confused why the duck’s wearing an apron. [Drew & Danny laughing]
Danny: Is the duck the one cooking? Danny: Asian people. They always let the duck cook! Drew: Yeah, that’s what they do.
Danny: I don’t want my food prepared by a duck! Drew: Absolutely not.
Danny: I want food prepared by my Asian bae! [dramatic music starting]
Rob: I gotta go. [explosion] Woman: Honey, where you going? Honey! [duck quacking]
Rob: I got! to go! Woman: Honey, duck’s good for you! Drew: I like that the captions say “Asian Girl,” and for him they say “Rob.” Drew: Rather than just saying “girl,” or even just saying the words, it says “Asian Girl.” [Danny laughing]
Drew: Like we get it, she’s Asian! How many more hints do we need? Danny: That’s so you know it’s not the duck talking. Drew: Ohhhh. Then there’s one subtitle: [Duck] Quack Danny, laughing: So you know the duck’s not saying, “Honey, duck good for you.” Danny: HONEY! Duck good for you!
Drew: That seems like something a duck would say. Danny: Also, not to critique the already racist comedy, but is Chinese people eating ducks–that’s not a stereotype! Drew: It’s not like a cliche.
Danny: Yeah. Danny: Plenty of cultures eat–like, duck is an acceptable thing to eat.
Drew: Yeah! Danny: Duck is like a delicacy, isn’t it?
Drew: Yeah, duck is like a–and, I haven’t had it, but I’ve heard it’s good. Danny: Yeah. I guess he didn’t want the duck actually cooking the meal. Danny: He’s like, get that apron off that duck. Throw it in the oven, I wanna eat that duck! Drew: Yeah. Also why does this order of emojis make it look like the duck is coming onto her mouth?? [Drew & Danny laughing] Danny: So what do you think about this guy? Drew: I think, um… Yeah, I think he’s great! He’s changing the game! As far as familiar comedy goes, he’s doing good stuff. Danny: See, this is why I like his videos. I feel like every time I make a new video, I have to come up with an idea. Drew: A new catchphrase!
Danny: I have to come up with a way to end it. Danny: He doesn’t have to come up with any of that! All he has to do is come up with just one thing, and then– Drew: As long as it’s either sexist or racist, and then he has to leave. Drew: It’s so merch-friendly, too. It’s so brandable. He has shirts that say, “Gotta go!” Danny & Drew: Gotta go! Danny: It’s just so smart. I feel like what I’m doing here is just so much extra work than I need to be doing. Drew: It’s so laborious, to come up with new shit every time. Danny: Yeah. And my videos are really bad!
Drew: They’re awful! Danny: All my videos are bad.
Drew: I don’t like them! Danny: Yeah. All my videos are very bad.
Drew: I can’t wait to take this stupid sweater off! Danny: I feel like I should be doing this, and not this commentary shit where I have to be funny all the time. Danny: With different jokes.
Drew: I mean, you’ve never really been able to do that anyway. Danny: Yeah, dude, so would you wanna help me try something like this out, where it can have a catchphrase or something? Drew: Absolutely!
Danny: I feel like my viewers would really like that. Danny: Everytime you click on a video, you know how it’s gonna end. Drew: You don’t really know how it’s gonna start, but you know how that shit’s gonna end. Danny: Well, you sorta know how it’s gonna start. You know it’s gonna start with me, and I’m being a dick. Danny: And then something bad happens to me that doesn’t quite tickle my fancy. Drew: And you’re out.
Danny: Well, I don’t know if that’s my catchphrase quite yet. Drew: True.
Danny: Let’s just figure it out. Drew: We’ll figure it out.
Danny: Okay, we’ll figure it out. [loud rap music playing]
Drew: I gotta say though, duck is actually one of my favorite foods, not gonna lie. Danny: Dude, I love duck!
Drew: Yeah, duck is actually like, really good. I don’t know why no one thinks it’s good. Danny: I would eat it for–
Drew & Danny: Every meal! Danny: –if I could.
Drew: Yeah. That’s so funny. [complete silence except the rap music] [Drew coughing and choking] [dramatic music begins]
Danny: Woah, what’s going on? [Drew continues coughing] Danny: What’s happening?
[Drew coughing] [muffled speech] Danny: You want me to help? Danny: Woah, woah, woah, dude. I don’t wanna do that! Drew: Yeah, dude, I don’t think that’s working.
Danny: What do you mean? Drew: I don’t like that catchphrase. Like, no one’s gonna buy a shirt that says, “I don’t wanna do that!” Danny: You want me to try a different catchphrase, or…?
Drew: Uh, yeah. React to this. Drew: Uh.. uh, Help! Help! I’m drowning! Danny: Okay, uh, I don’t know… Danny: That–That’s not my job! Drew: No, not that. I don’t think that really works… Drew: Okay, let’s try this again. Uh, Hey man, do you wanna come to my dad’s funeral tonight? Danny: Fuck You! Drew: That’s really fucked up.
Danny: Touch My Ass! Drew: No one would say that!
Danny: Hump! Drew: Nobody says things like that, Danny!
Danny: Daddy’s Home! Drew: Danny… [dramatic music plays]
Drew: I gotta go. Danny: What?
Drew: I got! to go! Danny: What do you mean? You’re just, not gonna finish filming this or what? Drew: I gotta go! Danny: What do you mean?? Drew: I gotta go dude! Danny: No, dude, come ba–
Drew: I got ! To GO! Danny: Dude, come back!
Drew: I Got. To Go! Danny: We’re supposed to finish this video!
Drew: I gotta go! Danny: Drew!
Drew: I got. To go.. Danny: Drew!!
Drew: I got to go!!!! Danny: DREWWW!
Drew: I gotta go! Danny: hello?
Drew: I Gotta Go. Danny: Well, I think that went pretty well, right?
Drew: I think so too. Danny: Yeah. I think it’s only a matter of time before I’m Instagram famous. Danny: And you by association, I guess.
Drew: Yeah, I hope so! [forced laughter] Drew: yeah, but seriously I gotta go so let’s wrap this up
Danny: oh okay Danny: Well, thank you guys so much for watching. Danny: If you like Drew, or his face, or his hands, or anything about him,
Drew: Anything pertaining to me. Danny: Go ahead and check out his Youtube channel. It’s Drew: And.. just, you’ll find me from there.
Danny: Yeah. His name’s Drew Gooden, it’s spelled just like this on the screen. Danny: And if you go to his channel, you’ll find his videos. Danny: So, thanks Drew for helping out.
Drew: For sure! Danny: Guys, if you’re not already part of Greg yet, Greg is our family here on Youtube. Danny: It’s our fanbase, if you wanna join Greg, all you have to do is hit that subscribe button and turn on my notifications. Danny: And you’ll be truly Greg! It’s the fastest growing channel on Youtube. Drew: Mhm. Don’t look that up. It’s the fastest growing channel on my website. Danny: Yeah. Have you looked it up?
Drew: No. Why would I? Danny: Yeah.
Drew: I’m a man of my word. Danny: Yeah. And I’m a man of your word also. Danny: Thank you Kristen Zianourry for turning on my notifications, you are truly Greg. Drew: Not quite number 1.
Danny: If you wanna get those, they’re on my website at Danny: Links in the description. See you next time with another great video, bye!


  • Reply Danny Gonzalez February 27, 2018 at 9:15 pm

    Hey Greg I hope you enjoy this collab make sure you check out Drew’s channel if you’re not already subscribed!

  • Reply Lily Bean December 5, 2019 at 8:46 pm

    “ two white guys watch internet for money”

  • Reply Sam December 6, 2019 at 4:34 am


  • Reply tehsin December 6, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    as an asian person, i can confirm that the duck always cooks.

  • Reply Trevor Allen December 6, 2019 at 10:58 pm


  • Reply classi December 7, 2019 at 1:38 am

    G e r g

  • Reply Bailey Pierce December 7, 2019 at 2:53 am

    He said did I do that…??

  • Reply Joi Kcgjfig December 7, 2019 at 6:44 am

    DG squared

  • Reply Sierra Kay December 7, 2019 at 10:29 am

    It would have been better if you ended it without drew. Lol.

  • Reply Yellow Balloon December 7, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    G- I
    R- got
    E- to
    G- go

  • Reply Clarina Mascarenhas December 7, 2019 at 6:32 pm

    The soundtrack to the I Got To Go videos gave my grandad flashbacks from the war.

  • Reply noah huggins December 7, 2019 at 7:00 pm

    “I got actual blue balls, I wanted to see those girls butts!”???

  • Reply Harley Hunt December 7, 2019 at 11:10 pm

    minor inconvenience
    my friends:
    oh goddamn it

  • Reply Kale 322223 December 8, 2019 at 12:16 am

    The only real way to be dead inside is to have a abortion

  • Reply The Doodle Noodle Guy December 8, 2019 at 5:55 am

    ssex man

  • Reply Fredman December 8, 2019 at 6:47 am

    I can confirm, duck is literally the main course at Christmas in my country.

  • Reply Alyssa Grider December 8, 2019 at 7:21 am

    Love the IB soundtrack in the begging of the video

  • Reply Potential Starfish December 8, 2019 at 7:50 am

    Danny and Drew trying to lie to us that they’re straight

  • Reply Crunky December 8, 2019 at 6:26 pm

    he really do gotta go

  • Reply Nakano Yuko Jr December 8, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    Ib music at the start! Anyone else who recognized it u a g

  • Reply Molly Krulewitch December 9, 2019 at 2:51 am

    drew casually sipping from #1 Greg cup

  • Reply BangBang Lemon December 9, 2019 at 6:16 am

    It better not be the video with the ostrich and the balls

  • Reply Shmigdanbloo December 9, 2019 at 3:29 pm

    2:03 ForCeD LAugHtEr

  • Reply anonymous Person December 9, 2019 at 4:34 pm

    The closed caption says “more forced laughter” every time Danny laughs

  • Reply Mary Ann Eisner December 9, 2019 at 11:49 pm

    No Steve Urkel says did I do that

  • Reply Rusty Sanchez December 10, 2019 at 12:09 am

    If you gotta go ya gotta to go, man stop he gotta go

  • Reply Jacob Weddle December 10, 2019 at 1:37 am

    14:52 best moment thats ever happened in existence

  • Reply Brigham Martin December 10, 2019 at 3:05 am

    why does Drew look like Anna Kendrick?

  • Reply julian g d December 10, 2019 at 3:44 am

    there’s this chinese dish i have no clue what it’s called but like you put pieces of duck with veggies and some sauce i think it’s hoison or something like it then you roll it up in like a rice wrapper or something and it’s like a chinese burrito and it’s super good especially the sauce idk how many places serve it or what it’s called

    i just heard duck and got excited sorry duck is awesome

  • Reply A Depressed Goose December 10, 2019 at 4:14 am

    Mostly unrelated, but i have a friend who i just realized reminds me immensely of Drew

  • Reply LollyPopAcid December 10, 2019 at 3:08 pm

    Meat tents, butts, and underwear…interesting page

  • Reply CassTeaElle December 10, 2019 at 3:14 pm

    My husband and I watched this when it first came out, and we still say "I GOT to go!" to each other all the time. So… yeah. You guys have basically ruined our lives.

  • Reply CassTeaElle December 10, 2019 at 3:27 pm

    For some reason my captions turned on after one of the ads and I really thought it was part of the video, and you were gonna label Drew's captions "white guy" or something. But no. Just YouTube glitching and me waiting for something funny to happen like an idiot.

  • Reply Aurora Oviedo December 10, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    Well I sure hope it does!

  • Reply Chemical Fusion December 10, 2019 at 5:38 pm


  • Reply Tamara Amea December 10, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    that's a duck diaper. don't ask me how I know that. I gotta go.

  • Reply Ginger Snap December 11, 2019 at 12:30 am

    Drew gooden looks like he and John Mulaney are related

  • Reply Aiss Diouf December 11, 2019 at 12:56 am

    Is it just me or does the girl look Latinx and not Asian???

  • Reply beans December 11, 2019 at 2:18 am


  • Reply Nemu The Beetle December 11, 2019 at 3:53 am

    My mother:go to sleep.


    Also me:it’s 11pm,I wake up at 6am,and I have school. I’ll go to sleep later,I SURELY will be FINE.

    Me again:I regret the decision I made this day. ;-;

  • Reply Amber Preston December 11, 2019 at 5:59 am

    Wtf Danny you just edited the video to make it look like you're talking to yourself. Never been more disappointed ?

  • Reply jada carr December 11, 2019 at 6:03 am

    I am greeeg

  • Reply Vegan Viking December 11, 2019 at 5:12 pm

    Rob's just really gotta take a shit.

  • Reply Padraig Gillis December 12, 2019 at 2:43 am

    Daddy’s home

  • Reply Ugh Spider Man Meme December 12, 2019 at 6:02 am

    Okay so lol i stared in the middle of my screen long enough and it looked like drew was on Danny's lap

  • Reply Star Secret December 12, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    hOrSe ShARk

  • Reply Turkey Cunt December 12, 2019 at 6:34 pm

    I like black people

  • Reply Samuel Andreson December 12, 2019 at 10:17 pm

    I was laughing for 15 minutes about “Gerg”

  • Reply I send Emails December 13, 2019 at 1:13 am


  • Reply Giovanni Calderon December 13, 2019 at 2:25 am

    Hello child YouTube sensations, Danny Gonzalez and Drew Gooden, I’m just here to let you know that I accidentally hit the dislike button when I was scrolling down to the comment section. I have since rectified my error and tapped the like button. I can assure you, it will not happen again. Have a wonderful day, hail Cthulhu.

  • Reply Collins Faagalo December 13, 2019 at 7:17 am

    Which one is Danny again

  • Reply Saaim Sohail December 13, 2019 at 1:25 pm

    Where the fuck is he going? Its his own fucking house

  • Reply Elizacoco December 13, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    "Yea, sometimes she do. Heh heh."

  • Reply Sasia98 December 13, 2019 at 6:29 pm

    i love how your name is like my favourite cheese "Gooden cheese"

  • Reply mikeyjaynes92 December 13, 2019 at 8:41 pm

    The funny thing about the Asian girl video is the girl is supposed to be Chinese, yet she uses a fake Vietnamese accent. Like what type of BS

  • Reply partisan December 14, 2019 at 1:32 am

    I was gonna comment but i gotta go

  • Reply Jordan William December 14, 2019 at 10:19 am

    Daddys home!

  • Reply psycho the man December 14, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    almost died when on the pc it was "Gerg"

  • Reply Taylor Estep December 15, 2019 at 5:21 am

    nobody says things like that danny

  • Reply Emovampburnout December 15, 2019 at 8:17 am

    I really wanna see what would happen if Danny and Drew did a DBZ fusion dance.

  • Reply Kōjō工場 December 15, 2019 at 1:17 pm

    Heck yeah dude I’d love my food to be prepared by Dolan duck

  • Reply Anoosha R December 15, 2019 at 1:26 pm

    The antithesis to Peter parker

  • Reply Jalen Severs December 15, 2019 at 11:29 pm

    That says gerg not Greg

  • Reply Alice Red December 17, 2019 at 11:01 pm

    That creepy song from the beginning was also used in a cult classic freeware Japanese video game titled Ib.

  • Reply Manny Ajetunmobi December 18, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    If u go to 1:55 and put the subtitles on it says forced laughter from Danny

  • Reply Sir Biggus Dickus December 18, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    I like these dudes. keep it up

  • Reply Carlos Acevedo December 18, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    In all fairness, Drew is the only content creator in youtube. So it's his channel

  • Reply SproutKid December 18, 2019 at 11:45 pm

    I noticed the Ib music in the beginning, niiice.

  • Reply Caley Kruse December 19, 2019 at 12:13 am

    Apparently Rob has gotta go

  • Reply Snoco Guy December 19, 2019 at 3:13 pm


  • Reply FUSION_PANDA December 20, 2019 at 6:02 pm

    Did i do that? is that what you mean

  • Reply Hello Mom December 22, 2019 at 3:10 am

    Sorry, I can’t watch this video right now.

    I got to go.

  • Reply Mikans_Pecans December 22, 2019 at 6:24 am

    1:59 turn subs on (FORCED laughter)

  • Reply Devon May December 22, 2019 at 7:24 am

    20:37 sounds like link from the tv series

  • Reply corky : b : roll December 22, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    If there is only one channel on YouTube, and Greg (supposedly crated by Danny Gonzalez), is the fastest growing army on YouTube, Drew (the owner of the only channel on YouTube) must’ve created Greg. Therefore, Drew Gooden and this “Danny Gonzalez” character are the same person. In this essay I will

  • Reply Galaxy Rain :3 December 22, 2019 at 3:57 pm

    Steve erkul (or however you spell it…) Says "Did I do thaaat?"

    Ur welcome btw

  • Reply Nora Malone December 22, 2019 at 4:07 pm


  • Reply RomanSans 1 December 23, 2019 at 5:16 am

    I’ve got to go.

  • Reply Elizabeth Chung December 23, 2019 at 8:09 pm

    I’m Chinese and we eat duck for thanksgiving instead of turkey

  • Reply Jarin December 23, 2019 at 9:17 pm

    Drew is lovely

  • Reply Devin Taylor December 24, 2019 at 8:13 am

    Daddy's Home

  • Reply Niamh Farren December 24, 2019 at 2:50 pm

    1:57 with captions on xD

    Edit- 4:15 with captions aswell

  • Reply Evie Steijvers December 24, 2019 at 4:48 pm

    Alchol is the dutch word for alcohol thats why you found so many posts on the hashtag alchol

  • Reply herroyou December 25, 2019 at 5:38 am

    Is everyone just going to not notice how the computer had "Gerg" instead of "Greg" at the beginning of the video? Is "Gerg" Drew's new fanbase? What is "Gerg"?

  • Reply Gorge The real person December 25, 2019 at 6:42 am

    What’s up Danny its Greg ???

  • Reply Perry the platypus December 25, 2019 at 6:56 am

    turn on the captions

  • Reply Justin Cruz December 26, 2019 at 3:18 am

    Rob: posts a video.
    Me: I GOTTA GO!

  • Reply Zech Zahn December 26, 2019 at 3:27 am

    Daddy’s home

  • Reply Chris Martinez December 26, 2019 at 8:53 pm


  • Reply Ernesto Suarez December 27, 2019 at 8:09 am

    You both love hot dogs? No surprise there!

  • Reply tsehat December 27, 2019 at 9:44 am

    Thanks white zias and b lou

  • Reply Sabrina Rivera December 27, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    why is danny talking to himself? like dan its ok you dont have to tell us drew is real, we aren't gonna make fun of you for not having friends

  • Reply Noah Hyrule December 27, 2019 at 8:49 pm

    All his followers are the Craigs- they followed him to smite us

  • Reply Tyko Marquer December 28, 2019 at 2:13 pm

    I love that intro

  • Reply Erika Ast December 28, 2019 at 4:27 pm

    I thought this guy had to go to the washroom the whole time……

  • Reply Honey Cakes December 29, 2019 at 1:45 am

    Danny: ok let’s check this out
    Ad about piano:Uh I think not

  • Reply Antonio Urcuyo December 29, 2019 at 2:13 am

    Watzup Gerg

  • Reply Breeandpuppycat December 29, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Captions: [forced laughter]

  • Reply Naomi Playz December 29, 2019 at 4:56 pm

    Me:wanting the vid in my room
    Danny: 20:15
    At that time my mom walked in!!!!

  • Reply booty snatcher December 30, 2019 at 7:57 am

    “let’s check it out” *clicks*

    dad promised. but now they have to move again.

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