Articles, Blog

The Biggest Lies Parents Tell Their Children

November 11, 2019

Black Fly Presents Biggest Lies Parents Tell
Their children . Number One: It’s calamari, sweetie. You’ll
like it. It tastes like Italian onion rings. Number Two: “Chuck E. Cheese is only for birthday
parties. You have to be invited to go there” Number Three: “They don’t make replacement
batteries for that toy” Number Four: if you wander off, the boogieman
will kill you and make sausage out of you’ Number five: You better not eat raw cookie
dough. If you do you’ll get worms Number Six: We’re going to the store. Every
time you touch something, a kitten dies. Number Seven: If you do not behave in the
drive-thru line you will be getting a sad meal instead of
a happy meal. Number Eight: “Every time you lie the baby
Jesus gets diarrhea” Number Nine: “If the ice cream truck is playing
music that means they have run out of ice cream” Number Ten: If you swallow chewing gum, your
poop will bounce up and down in the toilet. Number Eleven: Regular milk comes out of the
right breast Chocolate milk comes out of the left breast Number Twelve: Kids, I’ve talked to santa,
and he’s decided that he doesn’t want cookies and milk anymore.
He told me he wants Doritos and beer instead, so we’ll put that out for him. Number Thirteen: I was tired of my kids asking
for my scallops at dinner, so I told them that they were actually dolphin testicles Number Fourteen: You see those spots on the
road? Those are spots where children have been run
over because they didn’t hold hands when crossing the street. Number Fifteen: No, this isn’t coke. This is black water, and I don’t think you’ll
like it. Number Sixteen: I told my kids that the armored
money cars driving around are cars that take away bad children. Number Seventeen: I told my children that
the locked down and barred up stores at the mall are kid jails. Bad kids would be sent there and turned into
mannequins. Number eighteen: My son wanted a dog. I told
him that if he watered this growing rock everyday until it was fully grown, he could get a puppy. Every week when he was at school, I would
replace it with a slightly bigger rock. A puppy was never had, and there is a minivan
sized boulder in the yard. Number Nineteen: I told my child that kids
who didn’t learn to read would never be able to speak again. One time they got strep throat and it seriously
freaked them out. Number Twenty: I told my child that we are
all allowed 10,000 words a day. When they would not be quiet, I would tell
them they “were at 9,000 words, and only had 1,000 to go”, and they would shut up. Number Twenty-One:I told my children that
graveyards were just people farms. Twenty -Two: Most kids have trouble eating
vegetables, so I told mine that if they ate enough vegetables
they would start to taste like candy. Twenty Three: I told my kids that if they
kept their turn signal on long enough, the car would flip over. They still get nervous to
this day. Twenty – Four: I told my daughter that if
she ate enough spinach, she would get hair on her chest. When she grew up and realized that she wasn’t
supposed to have hair on her chest, I laughed. Twenty – five: I always told my son that every
time an earthquake happened, it was two planets fighting each other. He believed this up until 2nd grade. Thank You For watching Yet Another Amazing
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  • Reply gracie April 3, 2016 at 2:11 am

    Number 5 is not a lie

  • Reply Jessica Cheyenne August 12, 2016 at 7:03 am

    Mind me asking what you used to make your intro?

  • Reply silver dragon January 4, 2017 at 3:01 am

    BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO RAW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Reply Marcin Zygmunt February 6, 2017 at 8:08 am

    I did a video and now and I have 100 likes

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