Articles, Blog

Textmergency – “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”

August 26, 2019


TIME IS RUNNING OUT YOU’VE GOT
TO ACT NOW. STAY ONE STEP AHEAD OF THAT MORONIC TEXT SOMEHOW! THERE’S NO TURNING BACK HERE
IN THE DANGER ZONE. YOU’VE GOT TO MANUALLY DELETE THAT TEXT
FROM THAT DUDE’S CELL PHONE! THANK YOU, OFFICERS! GOOD LUCK REBECCA! IT’S A…TEXTMERGENCY! BABY CAN’T YOU SEE. TEXTMERGENCY THAT TERM JUST OCCURRED TO ME!
IT’S GONNA CATCH ON INSTANTLY! WAIT, WHAT ABOUT TEXTTASTROPHE
THAT SOUNDS BETTER TO ME! TEXTTASTROPHE! THAT COULD REALLY SPREAD VIRALLY! I PREFER TEXTMERGENCY! I ACCIDENTALLY TEXTED MY
MOTHER-IN-LAW/ A PICTURE OF MY ERECTION. I ONCE GROUP TEXTED MY WHOLE
STAFF ABOUT MY YEAST INFECTION! EXACTLY! IT’S SO RELATABLE! THAT’S WHY I COINED THE PHRASE… TEXTASTROPHE! THAT’S THE MEME,
DON’T YOU AGREE? ALL DUE RESPECT, TEXTMERGENCY IS THE BETTER TERM, MISS C… HMMM…I WANNA GO WITH TEXTTASTROPHE
I ALREADY PUT IT ON URBAN DICTIONARY. You fools! It doesn’t matter what it’s called. That’s right, it’s me! The ghost of Steve Jobs! What matters is that I control your lives from the grave! Technology is slowly alienating everyone from their loved ones! Ha ha ha! And when you send a few words to the wrong recipient And it immediately destroys your entire life… That’s called a… Messagepocalypse! GET OUT OF HERE, STEVE JOBS! GUYS, WHAT ABOUT THAT LAWYER CHICK? WE’VE GOTTEN REALLY OFF TRACK. SHE’S SEARCHING FOR THE SPARE KEY.
LOOK UNDER THE MAT! IT’S CLEARLY HIDDEN IN THAT OWL! LOOK IN THE FLOWER POT, HURRY! HURRY UP AND CHECK THAT BUDDHA
SCONCE! CHECK THE BUDDHA SCONCE! CHECK
THE BUDDHA SCONCE! SHE DID IT! NOW SHE CAN DELETE THE
TEXT! SHE WON’T NEED TO COME UP WITH
A TEXTCUSE! TEXPLANATION! Textmergency just flows. No, dude. Textastrophy. She’s totally right. Textscuse me?

60 Comments

  • Reply Kimani Wilson-Hunte February 11, 2016 at 4:33 am

    *Textastrophe 😉

  • Reply Khan February 11, 2016 at 4:44 am

    steve jobs lol

  • Reply TheJohno95 February 11, 2016 at 6:14 am

    I've done some pretty boneheaded things via e-mail before. There have been days I would have loved to have that "retrieve" button to bring back a hateful e-mail. Alas, too bad, so sad.

  • Reply TheKingofThessaly February 11, 2016 at 6:18 am

    I prefer txtmergency, personally…

  • Reply Cheese Burger February 11, 2016 at 7:02 am

    Ca-text-trophe is best i think

  • Reply Young Sooso February 11, 2016 at 7:30 am

    In my opinion, textmergency sounds less urgent than textastrophe

  • Reply alcx112 February 11, 2016 at 9:11 am

    Best episode and song so far!!! extremely funny

  • Reply theinfamoushobbitch February 11, 2016 at 9:23 am

    is this not the most robot chicken song in cxgf

  • Reply Dawn of Comics February 11, 2016 at 2:01 pm

    TEXplination is perfect lol

  • Reply 323guiltyspark February 11, 2016 at 3:34 pm

    There's a temporal and proactive difference between a textmergency and a textastrophe. A textmergency is a problem that warrants immediate action and can be resolved. A textastrophe is a disaster that has already occurred and the damage is done. So what Becca had is a a textmergency.

  • Reply SmashItWithaHamma February 11, 2016 at 3:48 pm

    Check the Buddha SCOOOOOONCE

  • Reply Johannes Schardt February 11, 2016 at 6:39 pm

    You guys should bring Karen back, she was HILARIOUS!! 😀

  • Reply Chan-c Kong February 12, 2016 at 5:54 am

    I like it! I love it! I want some more of it!

  • Reply Ryan Pfeiffer February 13, 2016 at 8:19 am

    TEXTSCUSE ME

  • Reply Gold Dust Woman February 15, 2016 at 7:55 am

    This is one of my favorites…. jokes about texting just really get me cuz there's so much about it that is comic-tragic… saw Adam Sandler perform one of his songs about texting and I couldn't stop laughing…. LMAO-ing!

  • Reply don von February 15, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    Textastrophe is way better

  • Reply thirteenfury February 20, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    "Lana! Lana! Laaannaaa!"

    "WHAT?!"

    "…DANGER ZONE!!!"

  • Reply Kelly Bond February 23, 2016 at 2:48 am

    Textastrophe was already submitted to Urban Dictionary in 2008.

  • Reply SillyJo March 3, 2016 at 6:46 pm

    I don't know why, but the phrase "Buddha sconce" sounds hilarious to me!

  • Reply Snapplegirl March 8, 2016 at 10:27 am

    textastrophe is in urban dictionary

  • Reply Angela Holmes March 14, 2016 at 11:58 pm

    love crazy ex girlfriend awesome show

  • Reply Chris Hancock March 22, 2016 at 10:22 pm

    Textmergency > Textastrophe

  • Reply Paula Howley March 23, 2016 at 6:04 am

    Is it just me or is that copy machine ejaculating paper in celebration of finding the key? 2:31

  • Reply sylvia twene April 9, 2016 at 6:40 pm

    this is my favoring song in the show especially when the dude was like "I accidentally texted my
    Mother-in-law/ A picture of my erection." that would be really f*cked up if it was true and "textcuse me" lmao

  • Reply Peninah Thande April 19, 2016 at 12:30 pm

    Too funny

  • Reply Gina Boosey June 1, 2016 at 11:40 am

    Jeez guys, put the cast! I had to google for MINUTES to find out Jeff Hiller's name, who is perfect in this, along with everyone else incl. Steve Jobs! Great job, this is amazing.

  • Reply Caroline Görtz June 6, 2016 at 12:10 pm

    Haha, this was great! Textastic!

  • Reply Matthew Johnson July 30, 2016 at 7:20 pm

    god, Patrick stump's looking a bit rough nowadays isn't he

  • Reply Shaindy Stern August 19, 2016 at 2:51 pm

    Textaster

  • Reply dontrestyourhead September 2, 2016 at 3:01 am

    Textmergency is better.

  • Reply oh no acorns September 17, 2016 at 4:17 am

    Textmergency for sure. This show is absolute gold.

  • Reply Deipatrous November 8, 2016 at 5:38 pm

    This takes me back to the early 80s.

  • Reply tammy November 20, 2016 at 11:33 am

    Does anyone else listen to this whilst studying?

  • Reply Julie Lindquist November 28, 2016 at 1:57 am

    seriously my

    favorite one!!! hahahhah

  • Reply Julie Lindquist November 28, 2016 at 8:06 am

    to all the fertile ones congrats to the one with no body issues and ass ex boyfriend issues god bless lol

  • Reply Marissa HV March 4, 2017 at 5:35 pm

    That's right, it's me, the ghost of Steve Jobs

  • Reply Jasmine Mississo March 14, 2017 at 7:44 pm

    Textmergency: When you text somebody you love him way too soon or any text you might possibly delete like Rebecca did.

    Textatastrophe: You send a group message to everyone including your boss how you banged his wife in his bed.

  • Reply mcjecca June 6, 2017 at 11:51 am

    The blonde is the lead on Great News! I had to watch this like four times before it dawned on me.

  • Reply Magic Ocean September 16, 2017 at 5:06 am

    "Uh textscuse me"

  • Reply RetepAdam October 22, 2017 at 9:10 am

    Textscuse me.

  • Reply BerniHurtonX November 27, 2017 at 10:38 am

    I kinda prefer textastrophe too

  • Reply Azaya December 8, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    is it just me or the blonde girl looks exactly like a glam rock version of Hilary Duff ?

  • Reply Alex Kersh December 16, 2017 at 1:00 am

    Textcuse me?
    “See what I did there?”

  • Reply Zoe-Jane Sutherland January 15, 2018 at 3:07 pm

    A text-astrophe leads to a text-mergency, which leads to text-cuses and text-planations

  • Reply Zoe-Jane Sutherland February 17, 2018 at 3:34 pm

    Rachel quite simply has one of the best evil laughs ever!

  • Reply Jonida Sanço August 4, 2018 at 8:32 pm

    When I can't find anything to watch on Netflix, I'm back here re-watching all crazy ex girlfriend songs

  • Reply elchip August 17, 2018 at 7:22 pm

    I think I'm singlehandedly responsible for 45,000 of the 145,000 view of this video.

  • Reply Vinicius Miranda September 8, 2018 at 5:19 pm

    Textastrophe sounds like a more musical word, however, I feel like textmergency rolls off the tongue better.

  • Reply Chloé Vollmer-Lo October 3, 2018 at 12:27 pm

    I want this videoclip's sytlist to be my personal shopper, thank you very much.

  • Reply Lubricant Records October 15, 2018 at 5:08 pm

    wow i just noticed the key is in the buddha sconce towards the bottom ledge part but she doesn't even take it she takes an imaginary key from the top

  • Reply A D Y M C L A R I N October 24, 2018 at 12:08 pm

    Why is it not entitled TEXTTASTROPHE

  • Reply Iana Araújo November 20, 2018 at 11:21 pm

    THAT'S THE GIRL FROM GREAT NEWS

  • Reply Paul J November 28, 2018 at 6:35 pm

    textmergency gang is superior

  • Reply Яна Гельфанд December 19, 2018 at 10:09 pm

    That's so funny that both words are actually on urban dictionary. And both textcuse and textplanation.

  • Reply 신윤채 January 4, 2019 at 9:45 am

    briga is so cute

  • Reply Louise Mondon February 19, 2019 at 7:18 pm

    I’m team textastrophy

  • Reply Darlene Baltazar March 21, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    ugh I love this show so much especially how even the songs have their own plots hahaha

  • Reply Jadie April 19, 2019 at 12:34 am

    AAHHH ONE OF MY FAV SONGS CAME OUT ON MY BDAY

  • Reply Sett0070 April 25, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    I forgot about this song!!!

  • Reply Sarah Hamilfan May 8, 2019 at 8:17 pm

    I prefer textastrophe because textmergency has three consonants in a row and that's difficult to pronounce

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