– Dude, I swear to God,
I saw Andrew Dice Clay. He stopped in a comedy club
and he’s doing a bit. He’s like, “Women don’t–
women shave their assholes. “Back in my day, they used
to hide their assholes with hair like Helen Keller in the attic.”
– Oh, no. – And everyone’s like laughing
that he made this mistake and he picked up on the laughter
and he goes, “Yeah, yeah. Like Helen Keller in the attic.”
– Oh, no. – Like he doubled down. And it’s so funny
to imagine these things. – Oh, that’s so embarrassing.
– There’s a blind and deaf woman hiding in an attic like,
“Where is everyone?” (laughter)
You know. ♪♪ – What a great show today. We have Ian Fidance in studio
as we do every Thursday. – That’s right.
Hi. – Hi, walkin’ on sunshine.
– Uh-huh. – Brendan Sagalow is also here.
– Hi. – First time on the show?
– I’m having so much fun. – There might be a second.
We don’t know. – Whoo!
– Yeah, I think it’s in your future.
– Every Thursday? – Mmm…
– Get him out of fucking here? – Listen, I’m open to it.
(Brendan laughing) – I’m open to anything
at this point. – Dumpster?
– Yeah, yeah. And now in studio
we have Seth Green. Seth, how’s it going?
– It’s good, Nikki. How are you? – I’m so good. Seth has a new movie out, his writing
and directorial debut. It’s called “Changeland.”
“Change-land”? “Change Land”? – “Changeland.”
– “Changeland.” – Yeah.
– “Changeland,” it’s in select theaters
and video-on-demand. I watched this film last night.
I loved it. It’s beautiful. – Oh, thanks.
– It’s funny. It’s captivating.
It’s all those things. – I– I really appreciate that.
I’m so glad you dug it. – I feel like
I went on vacation with you. – Yes, it is definitely designed
to be a cinematic vacation that you can take from
a movie theater or your house. – Cool.
– Oh, hell yeah. – That is how I…
Because my producer Noah had watched it
before I watched it and said, um, “I just watched
Seth’s movie and now I have
to go to Thailand.” – Oh, good.
– And, um… And– and I was like,
“Oh, haven’t you known that Thailand’s great any…?”
But you’re right. I’ve been to Thailand before
and this made me wanna go again. I mean, you really do a service
to the country to show how fun it is there.
– Well, thanks. – And how cool and beautiful. – I was really inspired
by the place itself and all of the things that
the characters do in the movie are something that you can
go do in real life. In each instance,
it was something I had done and thought, oh, I’m living
in a movie. And so I just constructed
a narrative that would support being able to visit
all those places. – That’s so…
So you had already– you had vacationed there
for a while? – Yeah, my buddy Dan and I
went on vacation in Thailand, and everywhere we went,
people assumed we were a romantic
honeymooning couple. And so they went
out of their way to give us like a beautiful
romantic experience. – That’s great.
– You know, drinks with two straws in it and…
– Champagne? – All of it.
– Free champagne? – Our beds littered
with rose petals and just everyone going like,
“We just want you to be in love today.”
– That’s so nice. – We’re just friends, so… – That’s gotta be so annoying
after a while. The third rose petal on the bed,
you’re like, “All right,
get off, get off!” – It– it honestly just–
it got– And we even–
we even do it in the movie, just get to the point
where you’re like, yeah, fine, whatever.
Thank you. Thank you, I appreciate
the– the way that this was intended.
– Yeah. – Yeah, so you decided to–
while you were there, were you like, I’m gonna
come back here and shoot a film, or did it come after?
– I did. No, it was while we were there.
Everything that was happening was so cinematic,
just the backgrounds and the experience,
the characters that we met, the night that we had. I was like, all of this
actually feels like an incredible narrative
for a movie. So I just– I came up
with all of the emotional disposition of it, right?
– Yeah. – ‘Cause none of that was–
actually existed. I had just started dating, uh,
the actress in the movie, Clare Grant. I had just started
dating her when… – Which one, which one
did she play? – She plays Dory, the girl that
Breckin Meyer winds up… – Oh, yeah, she’s great.
Is she your– She’s your girlfriend now?
– Oh, Breckin Meyer’s in it? – Yeah, we’ve been married
almost ten years, actually. – Wait, you’re married to…?
– Yeah. – She was awesome.
– I thought so, too. That was why I cast her
in the role. – Oh, my God, I love that.
(laughter) – In each one of these cases, I wrote the part
for a particular actor and then was, you know,
grateful that they said “yes.” – That’s so cool. Okay, I didn’t know
that you had been married for ten years.
– Even better. – That’s– Okay.
So, yeah, the casting in this is fantastic, too.
– Oh, thanks. – So you got to make a movie
with your friends and family. – Yeah, yeah, exactly, yeah.
– What a dream. – Well, I got– I got
all of my first picks for all of the performers. Like as a director,
all you hope is that you can cast people
who are gonna be organically believable
in the roles and then really great at it. But because we’re making this
tiny independent movie on small islands and boats, you need people
that are professional and really good at the job and gonna give it to you
in like one or two takes. – Yeah.
– And not be concerned that there isn’t
a triple-stack trailer for them to change their clothes in. Everybody had to be kinda
cool about it. – Yeah.
– Yeah. – So I-I felt like I’d made
all the conditions as perfect as I could, but man,
I was glad when it worked. – Ha-ha.
– Was this so fun to make? – It was.
– It looked like a really fun film to make.
– It was, it was a lot of fun. And I think that you can see
the years of familiarity and chemistry amongst
all the performers. – That’s awesome.
– You definitely can. – That’s great.
– Um, when did…? So this is the first film
you’ve ever written? – Yeah.
– How do you even go about doing that? I mean, did you just come home and just open your laptop
at a Starbucks and start typing?
I mean, what did you do? – Not at a Starbucks,
but pretty much. – Coffee Bean.
– It took about– Yeah, exactly. It was at a Peet’s.
It– it– it took about eight years to–
from the time I went on this trip to the time we were
actually making the movie. And I completely rewrote
the script six times where I still knew
all the set pieces but I needed
a more compelling story or I wanted a better take
on the characters. And different things
just sort of happened to me in that time that–
that made me understand a little more clearly
what I wanted to say and what– what characters
could be highlighted how. – Yeah.
– Jesus. – When– when you were actually
on this trip and you were like, oh, this
might actually be kinda cool, were you like taking notes
while you were like… – Yeah.
– …hanging out? – Kind of. I mean, I joked
that I was essentially location scouting
while I was on my vacation. But I did. I made notes
about different people that we met or the way
that something felt or… just an environment,
a sequence of events that, because it happened
that way… it just felt a specific way. And so my whole goal was
to present that to an audience and translate it in a way that people would feel
the same thing I felt. – Right.
– Again, Seth Green is with us. His movie is “Changeland.” It’s in theaters
and on video-on-demand. I really recommend this film. It is, from the get-go,
so compelling and so visually stunning
and funny and quirky. My favorite–
The opening is so good. You just, uh, just despondent
traveling. There’s like the opening shots
of you just staring into the abyss
kind of depressed. ‘Cause it’s a guy going through
a hard time in his relationship which kinda is the impetus
for him going abroad with his friend
which is supposed to be like a honeymoon with your… Not a honeymoon, but a romantic
vacation with your wife. – It’s like a prepaid
second honeymoon that was gonna be a surprise
for my character’s wife. And on the eve
of surprising her, he discovers she’s been
having an affair. And so, instead
of confronting her, he gathers his old best friend, which you come to realize
he’s a little estranged from. And they go
on this trip together to figure out what to do.
– Oh, that’s great. – And so, from my character’s
perspective, he’s cowardly running away
from the confrontation. And from his best friend’s
perspective, it’s a badass move to like
ditch town on your anniversary without even a word
to your wife. – Yeah.
– Yeah. When you’re directing yourself,
how do you check…? Do you just go back and…? I mean, I know
this is like a– How do you– how do you
make sure you look good? – Do you yell “action”
and then run into the…? (laughter)
– You have to be standing there. “Action,” and then get
right into your… – I…
– …dialogue. – No, I, uh, it…
(stammering) I had an A.D. that would call
“action” for me, especially if I was in a scene. If I was behind the camera,
I’d call “action.” – Right.
– But it’s a little challenging. It took a lot
of compartmentalizing and a ton of preparation. I just had to be really prepared
in each– in each category. So I had to be really prepared
as an actor so that I didn’t have
to ask myself questions or so that I could make
minimal adjustments, and I had to be incredibly
prepared as a director so that I could multitask. But also, it took having
awesome people around me. You know, if I’m in a scene
with Breckin and– and I’m not the best
in it, he’d be like, “Hey, you could do that better.”
– Yeah. – The next take, I’d be like,
“Oh, tell me what.” – That would crush me.
– Yeah, any kinda criticism. If he was like, “Yeah, you could
do that better,” I’d be like, “Fuck you, man.”
– But I think that’s good to push you.
– I’m just not… – Yes.
– Yeah, the– the– the point of surrounding yourself
with friends or– or professionals that
you really trust the opinion of is that they will
give you the goods and no one’s gonna let you
screw up like that. – Right.
– No one’s gonna leave you hanging out there.
– Of course. – You know what I mean?
– Yeah. – That’s great they believe
enough in the project to like not just show up to act, but to show up
to make it better, to enhance everything
that they’re in. – Absolutely.
That’s the– I really, you know,
it sounds smart after the fact, but I just stacked the deck
in my favor to– to make it go well
any way that I could. I knew there were people
that I could depend on. – That’s great. – I’m gonna go see it
this weekend. My girlfriend like loves you and quotes “Robot Chicken”
to her whole family. And I’m gonna take her
and she’s gonna be so excited. – It’s so good and it’s just–
it’s a visually stunning movie and the music is so good.
– Hell yeah. – Oh, thanks.
– The acting– I mean, the acting is…
you– you look at the… – Mm-hmm.
– …the cast, you know what you’re gonna get.
It’s fantastic. And it’s really funny,
but it’s just real. Like the conversations,
I feel like aren’t– It didn’t feel too scripted.
It just– You did a really great job…
– (chuckles) Thanks. – …for your debut
as a director and writer. I mean, this is going to lead
to many more opportunities for you in those fields.
– Oh, thanks. – Do you feel
like that’s something you wanna keep on doing? – I love making stuff.
– You’re good at it. – And making movies
is something that I’ve done my whole life, so it– it–
it feels a little like cheating ’cause I’ve gotten to work
on so many films with so many people.
– Mm-hmm. – And so, before I ever
attempted to do it myself, I felt like I’d gone to several
college courses about how to do it right
or how to do it wrong. I’m– I’m glad you mentioned
the soundtrack. That was something
I put a lot of work into. – It was awesome.
– In most cases, the… the music was selected
or a scene was written around a particular song.
– Yes. – And so I had to go out to each
of these artists personally and say, “Hey, say ‘yes,’
’cause if you don’t, I’m totally fucked.”
– Right. – That’s like the running theme
with this movie. You’re like, I need
this specific actor. – Yeah. Yeah.
– I need this specific song. If it doesn’t work out,
it won’t work out in my head. – It’s– it’s chemistry,
you know. It’s a kind of alchemy
that if you get all the right elements together, the end result is a movie
that’s watchable. I mean, I don’t– I don’t know if this’ll be people’s
favorite movie. I don’t expect it
to make a ton of money. But I hope that anybody
that watches it feels what we set out
to give them. – That’s great, I love–
– Every time a song would start, I’d be like, how much
did this cost? Oh, and then
what about this one? I mean, I was looking to music
for my special, and it’s like any song that you
even have maybe heard of a little bit
is so expensive. But you have so many
great tracks from so many great artists.
Like the soundtrack is– Is there gonna be
a soundtrack to this movie? – Yeah, there’s a playlist
on Spotify now, and I’m– I’m putting
a vinyl together. – Great.
– Because Patrick Stump, who’s the lead singer
of Fall Out Boy, he wrote all of our composition and even did like orchestral
score for the movie. And it’s– it’s beautiful,
all his work. And then we got
all this licensed music from Otis Redding
to The xx. – Yes.
– No shit. – And I wanna put them
on a vinyl that people can… – Dude, music makes a movie.
– That’s amazing. – That is so awesome.
– Totally agree. – You can find
the Spotify playlist by searching “Changeland”
on Spotify? – Yeah, yeah.
– Okay, I’m definitely going to add that to my…
– It doesn’t… – ‘Cause it is great.
– Thank you. I think that– that list
is just missing the Coldplay, um, and there’s like
one other song that’s not on the Spotify list,
but it’s everything else. – There’s a Lorde song
you had in there that I was like,
God, that’s a good pick. I mean, just…
– Cool. – But it all just– It was like a series
of music videos with these amazing… I just– I really loved it
and what– what– How long were you
over there shooting? – We shot for about four weeks,
like 24 days. – Wow. Damn.
– So it was six-day weeks. But I was over there almost
three months this go. I had five weeks of prep
and then two weeks of wrap down. – Damn.
– And when did you shoot this? – It was in the end of summer
of ’17. – Okay. Wow.
– Yeah. – And then, have you
know Breckin for a while? – Yeah, Breckin and I met
when we were teenagers and we really connected young.
– What film? – We– we met ’cause
we both auditioned for all the same stuff.
– Yeah, yeah. – And then I’ve told
the story before… – So have you ever been
in a film together like before? – Yeah, we did, um,
“Rat Race” together. He’s in…
– All right. – We got to do “Josie
and the Pussycats” together. – Okay.
– He cameos in “Can’t Hardly Wait.”
– That’s right. – Jesus, man.
– We’ve been collaborating on “Robot Chicken”
for the last 15 years. – Oh, yeah, okay. – You just named
so many good movies. – Oh, thanks.
– I know. – And then Breckin created
a show called “Men at Work.” I played a homeless guy on that.
– Oh, that’s right. (laughter)
– That’s so fun to make a film with
your best friend. – Any time, any time Breckin
and I can work together, I know it’s going to go well. He– he and I have such
excellent chemistry together and such a trusting confidence
with one another. That was– There really was
no one else for this part. – Can we talk about
“Can’t Hardly Wait”? – Sure.
– Um, like… – Talk about a soundtrack.
– Maybe my… I know. No kidding.
– Oh, yeah. Holy shit. – Whoo!
– I was so obsessed with that movie
in middle school, high school. I mean, it defined, uh…
(stammering) “Clueless” and that movie
are my two favorite movies to this day, I mean…
– Breckin’s in that, too. – I know! I know!
(laughter) – Yeah!
– I can’t even– I can’t get over–
And your role… – That seems to be
the through line in all the things you like.
– You and Breckin. – You got a crush on Breckin… – I think I have
a Breckin thing. – Yeah.
– Um, uh… – You’re a Breckin baby. – I saw him
at a restaurant once. And yeah, and it was
very exciting for me. – Yeah, he eats out a lot.
– Nice. – I’m glad it checks out.
– That’s why she likes him. – Yeah.
(laughter) – That guy’s always
at restaurants. He’s a classy guy.
(laughter) He doesn’t have some
crumpled-up takeout bag on the corner of the sofa. That guy’s sitting
in a proper chair. – I knew it.
I knew it. – Some paid professional
is handing him food. – Um, when you did
“Can’t Hardly Wait,” how old were you
when you did that role? I mean, you were supposed
to play a high-schooler. – Yeah, I was probably 22.
– Yeah. Yeah. – I think I was 22 or 23.
That was ’98, I think. – Yeah…
– ’97– end of ’97 when we filmed it.
– Yeah. Was it, um, was it a party
filming it? Did it feel like that on set?
– It was, we were– we were filming in a set
that– that was the entire interior of a house. And so you could move
from room to room, but it was on a soundstage. And not all of the kids shot
on the same days. There were only a couple of days
when the whole cast was… in a scene together. So we were passing each other
and I joked that Love Hewitt and I were like
the characters in “Ladyhawke,” only passing in the nighttime.
– Yeah, yeah. – That one hour of twilight.
– Ships in the night. – ‘Cause we never had
any scenes together. But it was an awesome time. The only thing is, you know,
making a movie takes a long time and so extras kept
falling asleep on set. ‘Cause you’d have like an hour
in between lighting setups, and everyone just had
to stay on set. So any time an extra
would fall asleep on set, we would take Polaroids
like hanging out around their prone body.
– Oh, that’s great, yeah. – And a couple times
we started taping caution tape over them or like binding them
to whatever chair. – Oh, my God.
(laughter) – And then like yelling
real loud, “We need you on set!
We need you on set!” And then they kinda like
struggle like this. Just stupid pranks.
– Oh, man, that– that– that movie I remember looking
at the extras in the background. Like I feel like those extras,
you got to know them if you watch the movie enough.
– Just like dancing… – Were there any extras
that were like, “I fuckin’ hate being
on this movie set. “They keep putting
caution tape on me. I’m here for eight hours.”
– I don’t know. I think people felt
like they had been acknowledged. If they fell asleep and then
got taped to their chair, they were like, “Oh, thank–
For me? Thanks, guys.” – And there was a lot of
like couch sitting around. – “Does this mean I’m SAG?”
– Yeah, yeah. – You could at least,
as an extra, be on a couch… – “Does this count as like
a waiver? Can I get my SAG card?” – But then you had to–
a lot of your scenes in that movie
were in a bathroom. – It’s true.
– So you and Lauren Ambrose just hooking up in a bathroom.
– Yeah. – I mean, that was such
a good story line of you being this guy who’s
trying to be something he’s not. She’s this girl that
doesn’t fit in. You end up falling in love
by the end of it and having sex
for the first time. You’re projecting like
you’re this like Lothario… – That was so relatable.
– …who’s had so much sex. – Yes, like all the condoms
and being like, “I’m gonna fuck.” And then it’s like,
“I’ve never touched a woman like in my life.”
(laughter) – So good.
– Yeah, yeah. – I love– I love those kinds
of characters, you know, that are– that are complicated
and deeply human no matter what it is
that they’re projecting. Deep down, all people
are the same. – Oh, yeah, completely.
– I love being able to find that– that element
to any character. – Now, did they–
did that character come out– Did they ask you to behave
that way, to talk that way? – Yeah, yeah, the character was
written as a guy who– It’s like Michael Rapaport
in “Zebrahead,” you know? – Yeah, yeah.
– It’s literally this guy, and it was such a product
of that time where all these young
white kids desperately wanted a– a– a new Jan Brady persona and they kinda reinvented
themselves as, you know, Busta Rhymes…
– That was me. – It never felt exactly true. It always felt like
a little bit of a put-on no matter how authentically
you projected it just because
of your circumstance. That was not a time when anyone
was gonna be like, “Oh, yeah, you should
have a rap career.” – Dude, I used to say “you know
what I’m saying” after… Like it wasn’t natural. I’d be like, okay, now I have to
say “you know what I’m saying?” – You were his character.
– Yeah, I was. – He dyed his hair blonde
and would rap in his garage. – Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
And I’d talk and be like… – You’d follow your dream, man.
– Like, “Oh, man, math sucks. You know what I’m saying?”
Like I would talk like that. And I’m like, you gotta throw
the “you know what I’m saying?” – In math class?
– You’re saying it too much. Stop– Hold it back.
I would wear do-rags, do-rags. – Yeah.
– With like a hat on. – Yeah, I made some pretty
aggressive fashion choices in my youth.
– Oh, yeah, yeah. – JNCOs were a big part
of my life. – God, you’re just
like searching for any kind of identity.
– Yes. – Did you, Brendan,
did you also pretend like you had been laid
like a ton? – Yeah, definitely. I remember I was getting
a haircut and this was when
I was still a virgin, and the guy cutting my hair
was like, “How’d you lose your virginity?”
He asked me. And I made it up.
I just went, “I was in a car with a girl.” I hadn’t–
I had no idea. I didn’t have sex at all,
so I was just making it… He was like,
“What did she look like?” I made up a girl.
I was like, “Oh, blonde hair,” like…
– (laughs) – Yeah, but at least it’s that
and not you’re like, “I took my penis out
of my pants…” – Yeah, yeah, yeah.
– “…and with my fingers, “I put it into her vagina, and we– we had the sex
together.” – “Great.
She was all creamy…” – I was at wrestling camp and…
(laughter) – “…she got so creamy
and stinky.” Isn’t that what it is?
– Isn’t that, right? – What is that when he says,
“The 40-Year-Old Virgin,” when he– when he says,
“Oh, yeah, they’re like balloons of sand.”
– Yeah. – “That’s what the boobs
feel like in person when you touch them
with your hands.” – I mean, I couldn’t believe
with penises, like if you would’ve asked me, if I would’ve had to come up
with like what a penis is like before I had had sex,
like I didn’t know that they could go
any more than a right angle. Like I didn’t know they could go
all the way up. That still mystifies me.
– Yeah, like an inch from the tummy.
(laughter) – I remember hearing guys
would tuck it into their pants. – Belt, yeah, the boner tuck.
– Into their belt. And I’d be like,
“How could you do that?” – Yeah.
– But you can do a lot of things with dicks I didn’t understand.
– Oh, yeah. – And also that when you’re–
when you’re young and desperately trying to hide
the fact that you have no control over your body…
– Oh, man. – Your body is constantly
selling you out. – Oh, yeah.
– Oh, yeah. – I mean, popping boners
in middle s– in like– Does it happen
in high school, too? – Yeah. Yeah, you gotta
put a book bag over your crotch
in first period. – When does it stop?
– I have a boner right now. – It was– it was def…
– It’s all creamy. (laughter)
– It smells. – It’s all stinky.
– Stinky and creamy. – I got a stinky dick.
(laughter) – When do you stop
getting random boners? When can you start
trusting your body? – Eh…
– Uh, when you… – When does that happen exactly? – I think you just have
to go with it. ‘Cause when
you’re in high school, you’re like, “Stop!” And now I’m like,
“Live your life, dude. Fuckin’ get a boner.”
– Do you– do you get random boners now, Brendan?
– Sometimes. – Like in public?
– Not as many as… – Oh, that’s a NRB–
no-reason boner. – Oh, a no-reason boner.
– Yeah. – I have to like…
– Just a boner for no reason. – There’s gotta be an NRPB, like a no-reason
public boner, too. – Mm-hmm.
– Yeah, yeah, yeah. – ‘Cause in the privacy
of your own space… – If I’m wearing like sweatpants
or like mesh shorts or something and I walk out,
I’ll think like, I hope I don’t get a boner. And then my brain will go,
what gives you a boner? Oh, boobs and blah-blah,
and then I’ll start… – Then you’ll start
getting a boner. – …getting a boner, yeah.
– God, yeah. I guess it’s the same
as if you get like aroused as a woman,
like sometimes you get wet during the day, I guess.
– Yeah, like riding a horse. – Yeah, but sometimes it’s–
it has nothing to do with anything.
– Yeah. – Sometimes you have
a yeast infection. – General friction, you know?
– Just kidding. (laughter)
Is that wet? (laughter) No, but that– it is true
’cause like sometimes I’d– If– Yeah, if we had to–
as women, if we had boner– like that would be really hard
to deal with. If we get wet, we’re just like,
“Oh, I guess I’m wet.” And then you go to the–
you go pee later on and you wipe and you’re like, “Whoa, who was I
thinking about before?” – Mmm…
– It’s a little slicker down there, you know
what I mean? – Yeah, but also if you’re
getting a boner in public, you gotta like really be aware of the public company
you’re keeping. – Yeah, I mean, it’s…
it would be horrifying. – If you’re at like
a softball game… – That’s that belt tuck. That’s where the belt tuck
comes in handy. – Yeah.
– Always wear a belt. That’s what I’ve learned.
– That’s the theme. – “Always wear a belt.” – Then what if it pokes
out the top? – You know, most people
are not looking. And so you really–
you can just be… – And you’re not wearing
a crop top, I guess. – Yeah, yeah, yeah.
– Just by being calm, you can usually conceal it.
– Yeah. – (Nikki) Oh, God!
– Yeah. – I just noticed
your RADIO8BALL shirt. Do you know Andras?
– Yeah! – That’s so cool.
– Yeah. – We made a movie together
called “The Attic Expeditions.” – No way!
– Yeah, when I was like 21. – Oh, wow.
– I don’t know if anyone’s ever seen that.
– Oh, that’s awesome. Yeah, our friend Anya Marina
did a web series, and he had us all
on for it, and then made us these
t-shirts for it. My name’s on it.
I should cover it up. – That’s so fun.
– But, uh, yeah. I love this t-shirt!
It’s so great. – It’s so cool, yeah.
– That’s awesome. – It is cool.
– Yeah. Andras is awesome.
– Agreed. – Okay, we’ve got
four minutes left. What do I want to get to.
Seth, wh– wh– You started acting
at what age? – Seven.
– Seven. Is that something… – Whoo!
– Wow. – …that you were
begging to do? Like begging your parents
to– to do? – Yeah.
– …or was it something, they were like you’re good,
you should try this. – No, they wanted
nothing to do with it. – Yeah.
– My parents were like lower middle-class teachers
in Philadelphia. – Yeah?
– And I was this obnoxiously, oddly driven kid
who knew from a young age that I was supposed to be
doing this, and just relentlessly
pursued it. – And do you look back
on yourself then and you’re like, where did this
confidence come from? Like, what– this bold kid,
because I feel like– Do you still feel
like you’re that kid? Or do you not– do you relate
to him still? – I still feel like
this is what I’m meant to do. I never feel more like myself
than when I’m performing. And I still
feel most at home amongst the artists
and performers. That’s– that’s what makes
the most sense to me. – Yeah.
– Everything else is just something that I’ve learned
along the way, like how to not go crazy
or spend all my time desperately insecure
or deeply depressed. – Mm.
– Yeah. Yeah. – Yeah.
– I really like how eclectic your choices for performing
and… have always been– I mean, you’ve been in
so many different things. We– I was so excited to be
a part of something you were in, which is the “Historical–
Historical Roasts.” – Oh, it was so good.
– Which you crushed, by the way. You were so funny in that.
– Thank you. Likewise, man. Like, you raised the bar that
day in terms of performance. Y-You played David Bowie.
I played Kurt Cobain. It was the roast
of Freddie Mercury. – Amazing.
– It’s on Netflix now. “Historical Roasts.”
– So fuckin’ good. – Thanks, man.
– Yeah, the show was awesome. – That day–
– That show is awesome. – It’s awesome.
– I’ve seen a bunch of episodes of it now.
I’m so proud of Jeff. – And it’s educational too.
– Yeah, me too. – It really is.
– You’re like learning things. – (laughing)
– Yeah. – It’s fantastic.
– He made a really funny point. He said, you know,
modern audiences don’t know the difference between
Anne Frank and Helen Keller, so if nothing else, this is going to provide
some context for it. – ♪ I’m an alligator boy ♪ – Oh, God.
– ♪ I’m an alligator boy ♪ ♪ I’m an alligator boy
I’m an alligator boy ♪ ♪ I ain’t no crocodile kid ♪ ♪ I ain’t no crocodile kid
I ain’t no crocodile kid ♪ ♪ I ain’t no crocodile kid
I’m an alligator boy ♪ ♪ I’m an alligator boy
I’m an alligator boy ♪ ♪ I’m an alligator boy ♪♪ (off-camera chuckling) – Okay, that’s an original song
that Andrew wrote that he sang for my parents, um,
and I thought it would– They liked him so much
that I thought that, oh, I can’t wait till
he sings “Alligator Boy.” That will infuriate my dad
in so many ways because it’s not a song,
it’s not good, his singing is terrible,
there’s two lyrics– – But it comes from
a place of honesty and truth and realness, and that’s what
I think E.J. likes about me, ’cause I’m not fake, and I’m–
and I’m– and I’m– I’m open. And through “Alligator Boy,”
he sees that in me. – No, everything else
about you is true. “Alligator Boy,”
there’s no truth in that song. What– No one’s ever described
you as an alligator boy or a crocodi–
– I’m from Florida. – Okay, but that’s not truth.
– And I ain’t no crocodile kid. ♪♪ – So generally,
my dad hates bad singers. – Okay.
– Like, cannot tolerate them. When– Especially someone who
like thinks they might be good, which, you think you’re good
and you’re not. – That’s– I don’t think I–
think I’m really good. – Well, I think that you… – I give my all.
Well, you did karaoke. – Okay, when you do karaoke,
you give your all. You don’t have any
kind of like embarrassment about how bad you are.
– Okay. – And usually when there’s
someone that’s a bad singer that– that has
a lot of um… – Gravitas?
– Confi– confidence. – Yeah.
– “Confi-tas.” – Yeah.
(chuckles) – To combine both
of what we were saying. – Yeah.
(laughing) Go on.
– (off-camera laughing) – Um, he could get–
he usually generally gets like really irritated by them
and can’t stand that they don’t know
that they’re bad singers. – (laughing)
– I don’t like any of this. (laughter)
What– It looks like you’re just
trying to like hold in a poop. – Be Jiminy Glick kind of.
– Oh, yeah, Jiminy Glick! – You know, Jiminy Glick
would always go… (silly Glick voice)
– (laughing) – (silly Glick voice) (laughing, gibbering
in silly voice) – We can’t– we can’t do
an impression of our– of an obscure show
that no one remembers. – Yup. (chuckles)
– Uh, okay. – So, yeah– so, the singing.
But there’s– Your mom said something to me.
She goes– she didn’t really
want me to do another song. She– Your mother…
– My mom is– – …was a little hammered. -Yeah.
– Got a little loose. – A little hammered is not
the way people describe it. Lilyhammer is where
the Olympics were, but little–
a little hammered, um… you’re either hammered
or you’re just a… you’re a little drunk
or you’re hammered. – Yeah. Yeah.
– So which one was she? – I think– I don’t think
she was hammered. – No, she wasn’t.
– I think that– Yeah. I mean, you– I’m sure
you’ve seen her more loose. – Yeah. Yeah.
– Yeah. – Yeah, I– You saw my mom drunk
for the first time ever. I think.
– Yeah. – Yeah and, uh– but–
and the next day you were like, your mom was drunk.
And I was like oh, that was… ♪ Nothing ♪
– Yeah. I can see that. (twinkles)
– Cool mom. – Cool mom. – But, um, no,
but my mom gets– she told you not to
sing anymore? – Yeah.
– ‘Cause you– you are not good. – I know, but if you’re
doing karaoke, first of all,
there’s five of us in a room. No one likes doing karaoke
where it feels like the other four people are being judgmental
of their karaoke singing. Karaoke is all about
bad singing. – I agree.
– It’s not about going in and being the best and on-key. And it’s like,
okay, you know what? Take that on-key bullshit–
It’s like– First of all, you all
don’t even sing that great. – No, we’re not.
I’m not– I’m a terrible singer. And that’s why I, um…
that’s why as a kid, my dad’s judgment, based on
like if you’re not good– – Yeah. But you’re–
you could be– if you were–
okay, you have a voice… – Yes, but I– but I–
– …that I hate. – But… (sighs)
– (off-camera laughing) – No, no, no, no, no, no.
You really do have a good voi– like if you trained your voice,
you could– – If I trained my voice
I would be good. If I– I also have
musical ability, like guitar-wise.
Like I could play an instrument, but because my dad can’t
tolerate any kind of, uh, bad– like, uh…
– He didn’t let you get to even the first–
past the first stage. – Yeah, if you–
if you make a flaw, he’s just like,
why’d you do it like that? And then I would just give up
and I’d go, well, then, I don’t want
to learn this at all. So– And all
he’s ever wanted me to do is sing and play guitar
with him. But because he’s been
so judgmental, when I tried to do
those things and I failed, because you have to fail when
you first start to try, I never got good
at any of it. So he holds this over my head
my whole life of like, you never play guitar with me.
You never sing with me. And I’m like, because
you are so mean about it. And– But that’s why
I was so angry when after you sang terribly,
my dad was just like, oh, it was really fun.
And I’m like, you– So you weren’t annoyed
with Andrew’s… like the fact that he sings
everything, uh, too fast? – Yeah, but this is why–
This is what I think it is. – You’re always singing
one lyric ahead so you can prove to everyone
that you know the lyric, which we know you know it because it’s on the screen.
Everyone knows it. So you’re always
singing one lyric ahead and you’re off-key
and you’re loud. It’s like everything that
my dad generally hates, it was happening
in that room. And he still liked you,
and it annoyed me. – Remember I asked
for your hand in marriage? – Yes. It was so like mean
to do to me, ’cause no one
will ever do that to me. And the one time I get it
is a joke. From Andrew Collin?
– In front of her parents. – In front of my parents.
– (off-camera laughing) – (sighs)
– I go, Nikki… – Don’t you do it again!
Don’t do this now! – Just hold my hand.
Just hold my hand. (laughing) – No!
– Please be my boss. – Oh, yeah.
– Forever. (laughter) Please employ me till October.
– Till July? – Ju– September.
– September? – The 17th.
– 17th! That’s when I get
to bring out a new opener? – (laughing)
No, not until 2028. – That’s too far. I’m not gonna–
– ’27. Your hands are cold.
(laughing) 2026. ’25. 2024. Just give me
a fucking job. – I can give you till the end
of the summer, this summer. – I’ll take it.
– But then you’re on your own. Start a podcast.
Get your own fans. – She said “no.”
– (laughing) You just saw a clip from
“You Up? With Nikki Glaser.” Check here every Tuesday
for a new clip from my radio show,
“You Up? With Nikki Glaser.” – From our radio show, with “You Up?
With Andrew and Nikki.” – Never.
– Andrew Collins’ radio show, who happens to have Nikki
on sometimes. – Okay, we all know
that’s not true.