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Sending Your Kid to School Sick | The Dilemma | Scary Mommy

November 22, 2019

– I think fakin’ sick is a life skill. It’s something you need
– Yes! – From the time that you’re a child – I still fake sick. (laughs)
– all the way up until your adulthood.
– I’m still great at it! (slow, soft jazz music) – Too sick to go to school I
think if they have a fever. – When they have snot just
coming out of their nose. – Also coughs
– Yeah. – [Jenny] I think especially
when they’re little and they do not understand the concept of cover your mouth
– Mm hm. – Like at all, and they’re just
like (loud coughing noises) (woman in teal laughs) – My mother’s definition of too sick would probably be bleeding,
(woman in yellow chuckles) fever, puking or – On fire? (Anastasia laughs) – I would definitely lie if the school called me and told me
that my kid was sick. I would be like “Do you
guys have the window open?” (Woman in yellow laughs)
“Like what? “You know what? I’ll come and get him.” (woman in yellow laughs) “Thank you for letting me know.” – I say “Who?” No. (both laugh) – (laughs) This happens so much. (Man in yellow laughs) – I always pretended I didn’t
know what the school nurse, I am so ashamed of it but I did. I did. – I get scared when the
teacher calls. (laughs) – I’m terrified of someone being like “Oh, you’re a bad mom.” Like everything in my life is about making sure I’m not a bad mom, both to myself and to other people. – Mrs. Maloney, if you’re
out there, I am so sorry. (man in yellow laughs)
I am so sorry. She had my number, though, she knew. She knew. She knew I was lyin’. – I feel like you can tell
when a kid is faking sickness, especially if they’re
avoiding eye contact with you. (woman in yellow laughs loudly) – So one minute it’s I need a cough drop
– Yes! – But the other minute it’s “Oh, “my tummy hurts.”
– Mm hm. – And then the next minute it’s like “But my finger feels a little weird.” – Mm hm.
– And it’s like, okay, you’re new to this (woman in yellow laughs loudly) so it’s obvious (laughs) that you’re lying about everything right now.
– Yeah, you’re bad at this! – And let’s go! – If they’re like “Umm, I don’t feel good. “Can I watch um?”
– Yeah. – And they have that voice, you know. – Ooh (sighs) I don’t
wannna give away my tricks. Okay, there’s a couple
easy ways to fake a fever but they all fade away
within five minutes. Hair dryer, cough cough. – I think I put my
thermometer in lemon juice – Ah, I don’t know.
– And then by the light on the lamp and then that
makes the thermometer go up. – Yeah, I don’t know.
– I did do that to my mother. – Yeah, I dreamed of
being Ferris Bueller but – Yeah. (woman in blue laughs) – But I was not as crafty.
– I did try it. – I faked being sick when I
was a kid before. (laughs) – Really?
– Sometimes it’s just like either there was something
I didn’t wanna deal with or go do at school, although I have done the opposite where I’ve
gone to school sick cuz I had a big project. – [Pacific] I would never fake sick. Faker. Fake, fake! (makes groaning noise) – Let go of this. Probably easier.
(woman in pink chuckles) – You gotta open up your eye. – I do?
– Mm hm. – On my eyeball?
– It’s one of the eye ones, yeah!
– It’s an eyeball? – Yeah, look it up. – You are not alive.
(woman in pink chuckles) I don’t… – Oh I bet you it’s a forehead. Is it the forehead? – Oh, I got it, I got it,
got it, got it, got it! This is the one. This is the one. (beeping) – [Anastasia] (gasps) Oh no! – What? That’s fine. – It’s orange. – I’m dying. – It’s one eighty eight eight zero. – This is how they take
it at the doctor’s office. – I’m falling asleep. (beeping) – It says error (laughs) – Come on!
– (gasps) It’s not fair if you push the button.
– You have a fever! – I have a very high fever. – It’s 99.5!
(woman in teal laughs) Did you take Tylenol? – No!
– Oh, my god. – What the (beep), guys, I’m sick!

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