Articles, Blog

President Trump Contradicts His Own Experts On Coronavirus Response

March 6, 2020


WELCOME, MY FRIENDS, TO “THE
LATE SHOW.” I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
TONIGHT– YOU KNOW, YOU KNOW,
PEOPLE ARE EXCITED BECAUSE TONIGHT IS THE NICE! IT’S SUPER TUESDAY, THE BIGGEST
HAUL– THE BIGGEST HAUL OF THE PRIMARY SEASON WHERE TONIGHT THE
LION’S SHARE OF THE DELEGATES WERE AWARDED TO… SOMEONE I
ASSUME. BECAUSE AS WE TAPE THIS, THE
RESULTS AREN’T IN YET. BUT IT’S GOING TO TAKE MORE THAN
COMPLETE IGNORANCE TO STOP ME FROM TALKING ABOUT IT IN
TONIGHT’S EDITION OF:>>I HAVE A PLAN FOR THAT.>>I BEAT TRUMP!>>MADE A LOT OF MONEY.>>I’M GOING TO BEAT THIS MAN
LIKE A DRUM.>>BING, BING, BONG, BONG.>>”FURY ROAD TO THE WHITE HOUSE
2020: SUPER TUESDAY SENIOR CITIZEN SELECTMAN DOWN. IT ALL DEPENDS ON TONIGHT TO
ENSURE VICTORY 2020.>>I DROPPED OUT!>>Stephen: WE WANT TO WELCOME
OUR NEW SPONSORS. THE BIG STORY COMING INTO
TONIGHT WAS THAT THE MODERATES ARE CONSOLIDATING BEHIND JOE
BIDEN. YES, THE MODERATES ARE
CONSOLIDATING. WE ARE REACHING EXTREME LEVELS
OF CENTRISM!( LAUGHTER )
JIM, LET’S GET A NEW READING FROM THE “LATE SHOW”
POLIT-IT-GRAPH.>>MEH.>>Stephen: WITH EVERYBODY WHO’S
DROPPED OUT OF THE RACE– AND THIS IS TRUE– AT 11 YEARS OLD
JOE BIDEN IS NOW THE YOUNGEST MAN VYING FOR THE DEMOCRATIC
PRESIDENTIAL NOMINATION. KEEP IN MIND– 77. KEEP IN MIND THAT THE AVERAGE
LIFE EXPECTANCY FOR MEN IS ABOUT 76. ASK
SO, IF ONE OF THESE DEMOCRATIC MEN GETS ELECTED, YOU KNOW HIS
FIRST YEAR IN OFFICE IS GOING TO BE CHECKING OFF THE BUCKET LIST. “MY FELLOW AMERICANS, IN MY
FIRST 100 DAYS, I WILL LEARN TO SURF. I WILL BIKE A MOIK. , AND I WILL MAKE OUT WITH ANGIE
DICKENSON. POLICE WOMAN, I LOVE YOU! ”
LAST NIGHT, BIDEN RACKED UP TWO BIG ENDORSEMENTS: FORMER SOUTH
BEND MAYOR AND BUSINESS PINOCCHIO, PETE BUTTIGIEG; ALONG
WITH MINNESOTA SENATOR AND MOM BEING SUPPORTIVE AFTER YOU BLEW
THE DANCE RECITAL, AMY KLOBUCHAR. KLOBUCHAR TOOK THE STAGE AND
ANNOUNCED HER SUPPORT FOR JOE.>>TODAY, I AM ENDING MY
CAMPAIGN AND ENDORSING JOE BIDEN FOR PRESIDENT.( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I CANNOT THINK OF A BETTER WAY TO END MY CAMPAIGN THAN JOINING
HIS.>>Stephen: YOU CAN’T THINK OF A
BETTER WAY TO END YOUR CAMPAIGN?( LAUGHTER )
DID YOU THINK ABOUT WINNING?( LAUGHTER )
NOW, WE KNEW BUTTIGIEG AND KLOBUCHAR WERE GOING TO ENDORSE
BIDEN, BUT THEN THE VICE PRESIDENT INTRODUCED A SURPRISE
GUEST.>>THERE’S ONE MORE PERSON I
WANT TO THANK A, MAN WHO ELECTRIFIED THIS STATE AND
NATION. ONE OF THE MOST INCREDIBLE RUNS
FOR THE UNITED STATES SENATE WE HAVE EVER SEEN, HERE IN THIS
STATE AND WHO DEMONSTRATED ENORMOUS COMPASSION AND COURAGE
IN THE WAKE OF THE SHOOTING AT EL PASO, A MAN WITH AN UNLIMITED
FUTURE, A MAN WHO WILL BE CHANGING THIS NATION FOR THE
BETTER FOR MANY YEARS TO COME. LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,
BETO O’ROURKE!( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>>Stephen: WOW, BETO’S BACK, TOO? THIS IS LIKE A REUNION OF
“FRIENDS” IF SOME OF THE FRIENDS WERE GONE LONGER THAN OTHERS AND
NONE OF THEM WERE FRIENDS. BY THROWING IN WITH BIDEN, BETO,
AMY, AND PETE, THEY’RE AGING TO SLOW BERNIE SANDERS.>>GOOD LUCK WITH THAT BECAUSE
YOU’LL NEED IT. I MOVE AT ONE SPEED ONLY–
DETERMINED LUNCH. I LEAN IN. I’M LIKE A GLACIER IN LOW GEAR.” IN RESPONSE, LAST NIGHT, SANDERS
HELD A RALLY IN AMY KLOBUCHAR’S HOME STATE OF MINNESOTA AND
WELCOMED THEIR SUPPORTERS TO HIS CAMPAIGN.>>TO ALL OF AMY AND PETE’S
MILLIONS OF SUPPORTERS, THE DOOR IS OPEN. COME ON IN.>>Stephen: (AS BERNIE)
“BUT ONCE YOU’RE INSIDE, CLOSE THE DAMN DOOR! YOU’RE LETTING THE HEAT OUT. WHAT, DO YOU THINK WE’RE MADE OF
MONEY? ROLL UP A TOWEL AND SHOVE IT
IN THE BOTTOM.” TRUMP ALSO HELD A RALLY LAST
NIGHT. HE WAS IN SUPER TUESDAY STATE
NORTH CAROLINA, AND HE PANDERED IN A REALLY WEIRD WAY.>>YOU KNOW ERIC AND LARA
NAMED THEIR DAUGHTER. YOU KNOW WHAT HER NAME IS? CAROLINA. CAROLINA,
HER NAME IS CAROLINA FOR A REASON.( LAUGHTER )
>>Stephen: FOR A REASON? ARE HIS GRANDKIDS NAMED AFTER
THINGS HE NEEDS TO WIN REELECTION?( LAUGHTER )
( AS TRUMP )
“THESE ARE MY GRANDDAUGHTERS,
CAROLINA AND PENNSYLVANIA. THOSE ARE MY GRANDSONS, VOTER
SUPPRESSION, RUST BELT COAL MINER WHO VOTES AGAINST HIS
ECONOMIC SELF-INTEREST, AND OF COURSE, AND OF COURSE, LITTLE
KU KLUX KENNY.” I LOVE YOU. TAKES AFTER HIS GRANDPA. SPEAKING OF THE CORONAVIRUS, IT
HAS NOW BEEN FOUND IN AT LEAST 15 STATES. YESTERDAY, TRUMP MET WITH TOP
EXECS FROM BIG PHARMA TO SHOW HE’S ON TOP OF THE CRISIS.>>WE HAVE NOBODY IN THIS
COUNTRY VACCINATED FOR CORONAVIRUS RIGHT NOW. SO THAT IF IT–
>>THE SAME VACCINE COULD NOT WORK. YOU TAKE A SOLID FLU VACCINE,
YOU DON’T THINK THAT WOULD HAVE AN IMPACT OR MUCH OF AN IMPACT
ON CORONA?>>NO.>>PROBABLY NONE.>>Stephen: (AS TRUMP)
“SO A REGULAR– A REGULAR FLU VACCINE WON’T WORK? HUH, WEIRD. WHAT ABOUT A SOLID FLU VACCINE? I’M TALKING TOP-SHELF, ADMIRAL
CLASS. NOW, WHAT ABOUT CIRCLE DOT
COOTIE SHOT? WHAT ABOUT THAT? ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT THIS I GOT– NO,
QUIET. HOW ABOUT THIS? A BOX OF BAND-AIDS. I’M TALKING THE GOOD ONES. ‘FROZEN 2,’ ALL ELSA. THROW AWAY THE ANNAS. THEY DON’T WORK, OKAY. TRY IT? WILL YOU TRY IT?”
THE PROBLEM IS, WE HAVE NO IDEA HOW FAR CORONAVIRUS HAS ACTUALLY
SPREAD IN THE UNITED STATES. AS OF LAST WEEK, THE C.D.C. HAD
TESTED JUST UNDER 500 AMERICANS WITH SUSPECTED INFECTIONS. OTHER NATIONS HAVE TESTED
PATIENTS BY TENS OF THOUSANDS. CHINA HAS PROBABLY TESTED
MILLIONS. WE’RE SO FAR BEHIND OTHER
NATIONS, IT’S EMBARRASSING. WE’RE LIKE THE FRIEND WHO JUST
NOW IS SAYING, “GUYS, I STARTED THIS SHOW CALLED ‘GAME OF
THRONES.’ I THINK IT’S GONNA CATCH ON. I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHO WINS
THE THRONE GAME. I BET IT’S NED STARK. I’M ON EPISODE ONE.” OF COURSE, THERE ARE PLENTY OF
WAYS YOU CAN STAY SAFE FROM CORONAVIRUS, LIKE HANDWASHING. EXPERTS SAY YOU HAVE TO SCRUB
FOR A MINIMUM OF 20 SECONDS. THAT’S A LOT OF TIME. THAT’S TIME I COULD BE SPENDING
WITH MY FAMILY… SPREADING THE CORONAVIRUS.( LAUGHTER )
TO HELP YOU WASH LONG ENOUGH, EXPERTS HAVE SUGGESTED HUMMING A
SONG THAT’S ABOUT 20 SECONDS LONG. THEY SAY THAT 20 SECONDS IS
ABOUT THE EQUIVALENT OF SINGING “HAPPY BIRTHDAY” TWICE. BUT ANY 20-SECOND REFRAIN WORKS. SO FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE
ALREADY SICK AND DON’T WANT TO SPREAD IT TO OTHERS, I
RECOMMEND: (SINGING TO “HOT BLOODED”)
♪ HOT BLOODED CHECK IT AND SEE
♪ I GOT A FEVER OF 103 COME ON, BABY,
DO YOU DO MORE THAN DANCE? ♪ HOT-BLOODED, HOT BLOODED ♪
VERY SICK. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
OR– OR, AT THE VERY LEAST, HOW ABOUT
(SINGING TO “MY SHARONA”) ♪ MUH-MUH-MUH
VIRUS ♪ THANK YOU.>>Jon: THAT WAS A NICE ONE.>>Stephen: THANK YOU VERY
MUCH. THE MAIN REASON FOR HANDWASHING
IS THAT YOU DON’T WANT GERMS REACHING YOUR FACE ZONE, WHICH
IS WHY EXPERTS KEEP SAYING THIS:>>KEEP YOUR FINGERTIPS AWAY
FROM YOUR EYES.>>TOUCH YOUR FACE LESS.>>DON’T TOUCH YOUR EYES OR YOUR
FACE WITH YOUR HANDS.>>DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE.>>DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE.>>DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE.>>DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE.>>Stephen: DON’T TOUCH YOUR
FACE. NO! DON’T TOUCH YOUR FACE! NO! BACK, BACK. OF! ED ABOUT GOOD AND LATER I’LL LET
YOU TOUCH SOMETHING NICE.( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
BUT SOMETIMES– SOMETIMES–( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
SOMETIMES, THE BEST WAY TO KEEP THE VIRUS FROM SPREADING IS TO
JUST SHUT THINGS DOWN. FOR EXAMPLE, TWO NEW YORK
SCHOOLS CLOSED TODAY OVER CORONAVIRUS FEARS. THE SAR ACADEMY AND SAR HIGH
SCHOOL. OOOH, SO CLOSE TO THE WORD
“SARS.”( LAUGHTER )
THERE HASN’T BEEN AN OUTBREAK THIS IRONIC SINCE THE CLOSURE OF
HERPE HIGH.( LAUGHTER )
WE’VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
ANTHONY MACKIE IS HERE. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK,
“MEANWHILE!” PLEASE JOIN US.

100 Comments

  • Reply Lilah Jamison March 5, 2020 at 8:57 am

    Trump should use his Sharpie to change the official number of coronavirus cases to zero. I'm sure everyone will believe it.

  • Reply C Luvzinfo March 5, 2020 at 8:57 am

    Trumps next move is to stop production of Corona Beer until there are fewer cases of the virus. He's bought hepafilters for all the staff to stick up their noses. Then he and Pence will pray over some expensive fish, turn in circle 3 times and click their heels while saying "This is not your home" and exorcise the virus back into China.

  • Reply e3erockstar08 March 5, 2020 at 9:02 am

    Joe can’t beat President Trump.

    Joe will lose Ohio and Florida by 9 points ALONE.

  • Reply KARASIRA Jean Claude March 5, 2020 at 9:19 am

    Joe Biden is officially the youngest man running for Oval Office this 2020. #Facts

  • Reply J B March 5, 2020 at 9:24 am

    I’m for Bernie… health care and education should be socialized. But, that said… anyone but Trump 2020’

  • Reply Cate Lewis March 5, 2020 at 9:25 am

    Oh God thanks for the laugh 😊

  • Reply WildwoodClaire1 March 5, 2020 at 9:25 am

    Once more, Donald Trump leaves me spellbound by his knowledge of science.

  • Reply Armageddon News March 5, 2020 at 9:40 am

    😡😡The global economy is messed up and countries might starve because they relied on (other countries like) China and China is not producing or its producing INFECTED products –

    THE UNITED NATIONS GLOBALIZATION MODEL IS A SCREW UP

    THE UNITED NATIONS CAUSED THIS MESS THEY ARE TO BLAME FOR GLOBALIZATION

    Let all countries Grow their own food and make their own products….. Globalization is a disaster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! VIVA TRUMP bringing business back to the U.S.

  • Reply Drew Long March 5, 2020 at 10:30 am

    Biden I can’t stand him let’s jus say my nabor brother bashed me supporting trump he’s a liberal he came into my house got my face I threw his out the front window I said yea that’s what I think liberals

  • Reply D Bone March 5, 2020 at 10:46 am

    Huh… I was singing "My Corona" at work yesterday. Didn't know that one of my co-workers also moonlights as a writer for Steven…

  • Reply Taylan Ertan March 5, 2020 at 11:10 am

    America's political alignments are not True Left and Right. It is shades of Right-wing from ''Neo-nazi'' to ''Corrupt as hell under the boots of corporation Autocracy''. Compared to the rest of the world, even America's supposed ''MOST RADICAL SOCIALIST'' Bernie can be considered a centrist.
    Honestly, America's mindset is truly fucked up. No wonder they elected Trump. And no wonder DNC is once again trying to screw over Bernie.

  • Reply Baron von Quiply March 5, 2020 at 11:39 am

    They're not moderates or centrists, they're right wing.

  • Reply Michigan Wolverine in Dallas March 5, 2020 at 12:00 pm

    We need to get this sexual predator out of The White House! Here is a list of 25 women who have accused the Trump of either sexual assault or sexual misconduct, followed by an article detailing their claims:

    Jessica Leeds
    Ivana Trump
    Kristen Anderson
    Jill Harth
    Lisa Boyne
    Mariah Billado
    Victoria Hughes
    Temple Taggat
    Cathy Heller
    Karena Virginia
    Tasha Dixon
    Bridget Sullivan
    Melinda McGillivray
    Natasha Stoynoff
    Jennifer Murphy
    Juliet Haddy
    Rachel Crooks
    Samantha Holvey
    Ninni Lanksonen
    Jessica Drake
    Summer Zervos
    Cassandra Searles
    Alva Johnson
    E. Jean Carroll
    https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/women-accused-trump-sexual-misconduct-list-2017-12%3famp

  • Reply Rider 2000 March 5, 2020 at 12:06 pm

    The Late News with Sephen Colbert

  • Reply randy tabron March 5, 2020 at 12:20 pm

    All I see is net wits trying to put the President down but it is not working

  • Reply Dan TDM March 5, 2020 at 12:25 pm

    What about grabbing it by the p******y Mr president?

  • Reply kainen mattison March 5, 2020 at 12:43 pm

    I cant wait to watch biden debate trump….. jesus thats going to be epic. Lol biden forgets where the crowd is and where he is. I didnt want another 4 years of trump but damn if the Democrats arent pushing for it

  • Reply Douglas Martin March 5, 2020 at 12:58 pm

    Does anyone else think it's strange that Pete and Amy dropped out right before super Tuesday. The democratic party is acting like the Republicans. Sleazy underhanded deals to get who they want. Something is not right.

  • Reply T. James March 5, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    Colbert has gone from must-see to intolerable bore.

  • Reply Drew K March 5, 2020 at 1:04 pm

    Amazon can deliver the Coronavirus to you house. If you are a prime user you can have the virus arrive at your door overnight free of charge!

  • Reply Naked Zebra March 5, 2020 at 1:28 pm

    says kkk joke and we cut to jon… come on CBS why you gotta be like tht

  • Reply Valerye Rogers March 5, 2020 at 1:31 pm

    They’re only endorsing Biden so he’ll ask them to run as his Vice President

  • Reply Mikey Mike March 5, 2020 at 1:45 pm

    Trump asking about using a flu vaccine to cure corona is such an epic FAIL. You have to be the biggest shill on the planet to continue to support Donald Trump at this point.

  • Reply Miles Puckett March 5, 2020 at 2:15 pm

    i love the trump can't win with this fool talking ,what a idiot !!!!

  • Reply Mike V March 5, 2020 at 2:16 pm

    Trump suffers from the moronavirus.🙄

  • Reply Tamara Moxham March 5, 2020 at 2:48 pm

    Dear Baby Boomers – thank you for your service. Go home. It's time for GenX to fix this shit. Millennials run for Congress. We got this

  • Reply Rush P. March 5, 2020 at 3:47 pm

    I was laughing until Stephen scared the be-jeezus out of me!

    Is Trump that stooopid?!

  • Reply msmelochi March 5, 2020 at 4:06 pm

    Boo joe!

  • Reply Dorothy Richter March 5, 2020 at 4:12 pm

    Hot Blooded! Love it! Randy Rainbow ought to use that!

  • Reply Thomas Panto March 5, 2020 at 4:25 pm

    all good choices

  • Reply philos4r March 5, 2020 at 4:26 pm

    Trump just clearing it up for the ill-informed masses that rely on shows like yours #bias

  • Reply pcarebear1 March 5, 2020 at 4:26 pm

    As a public health professional speaking, just be happy the government is finally doing surveillance testing. Even though its months behind and equivalent to shutting the gates after your horses have escaped into the hills. 😷 🤒🚑🐎

  • Reply melostmo March 5, 2020 at 5:00 pm

    sad

  • Reply Linda Terry March 5, 2020 at 5:11 pm

    See, Hillary Clinton was right when she said nobody liked Bernie.

  • Reply Linda Terry March 5, 2020 at 5:12 pm

    Interesting that people have rallied around the oldest people in the world in this election.
    Where is our new Robert Kennedy?

  • Reply lilbrothaizwatchingtoo March 5, 2020 at 5:13 pm

    i just dont like this short intro movie, i was already not so funny the first hundred times. other than that it was nice of course. greets.

  • Reply Linda Terry March 5, 2020 at 5:15 pm

    Trump is so stupid that he doesn’t realize how much he embarrasses himself every time he opens his mouth. Unfortunately so are his voters.
    They have to kill the actual virus to make a vaccine. They have used bleach in the past.

  • Reply Elizabeth Heyenga March 5, 2020 at 5:27 pm

    I'm going to Stephen's house in a pandemic. Like the government's got this, uh-huh. A "solid" vaccine? uh…??

  • Reply brachypelmasmith March 5, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    isn't tulsie gabbard still in the race?

  • Reply Reaper's END March 5, 2020 at 5:36 pm

    I am glad I am not rich because if I was rich I would have to be heartless and have a 1,000 heartless lost wondering people expecting money as to resources just to worship me as rich.

  • Reply Riddler0019 March 5, 2020 at 5:50 pm

    Oops he said fuck lol

  • Reply Eva Sara March 5, 2020 at 6:09 pm

    TULSI GABBARD is still running and is the only good candidate that can beat Trump! Please America choose someone decent for once, for once!!!!

  • Reply PacTheOne March 5, 2020 at 6:37 pm

    EU dude here.. sorry am gonna say it. I want sanders to win because colberts bidem improv got nothing on our sanderian.. this is da way

  • Reply James Webster March 5, 2020 at 6:52 pm

    The first 100 days for a democratic president will be spent laughing at all the jokes late night comedieans did not have time for when T.Rump was president.
    I have dibs on the video of the toilet paper on his shoes

  • Reply john smitty March 5, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    8:31 look at the difference in color between colberts hand and his face, he has so much make up and spray tan on

  • Reply CatPad March 5, 2020 at 6:56 pm

    Now 1 day later,FURY ROAD will be shorter…

  • Reply zinseng March 5, 2020 at 6:57 pm

    Bernie's more spry than Joe by far and Joe acts like a 'typical old man' far more so I'm not sure why the old-man jokes are always directed at Bernie

  • Reply FrayjaJ Jarian March 5, 2020 at 7:45 pm

    OMG I am never going to wash my hands again without thinking of this again

  • Reply Nicholas Treat March 5, 2020 at 7:59 pm

    You forgot to mention the other grandchild Gerry Mandering

  • Reply Oddy Stef March 5, 2020 at 8:04 pm

    THIS DEMOCRATIC PROPAGANDA SHOULD BE WIPED OF THE INTERNET

  • Reply Visor Overwatch March 5, 2020 at 8:06 pm

    Bing Bing Bong Bong!

  • Reply tripjet999 March 5, 2020 at 8:30 pm

    SEND COMRADE TRUMP TO JAIL, NOW!

  • Reply Hilma Allen March 5, 2020 at 8:51 pm

    Just so you Americans know, the W.H.O. has just confirmed that the death rate for this C-19 is now 4% not good new for anyone that has it, in any country.

  • Reply TE BE March 5, 2020 at 8:51 pm

    Why NOT to vote for Joe Biden NOR Donald Trump! https://youtu.be/uExKgeGEVPU

  • Reply Woodie Thompspn March 5, 2020 at 8:55 pm

    Leave it to Colbert to TRY to make humor from what just might be a major disaster. I guess we deserve what we stay for ! NO more !

  • Reply Suzanne Berry March 5, 2020 at 9:00 pm

    Is trump trying to kill his followers?

  • Reply Just Me March 5, 2020 at 9:02 pm

    Moderates = More of the same. I'm not satisfied with "more of the same". After 30 years of "more of the same", the only majority left in this nation are people that are NOT rich, who want common sense gun control, who want universal healthcare, need paid parental leave, and have stagnant wages.

  • Reply RhondaH March 5, 2020 at 9:13 pm

    When you see trumpty dumbty with his arms crossed, it means he is more out of his depth than usual which is always. LOL

  • Reply Mark Demara March 5, 2020 at 9:31 pm

    Stephen should run for president. He seems to have all the answers for our problems. No balls I guess.

  • Reply Adrien Roy March 5, 2020 at 9:36 pm

    Klobuchar is sooooo annooooooying eeeerrrrr meerrr geeerrrrrrddd

  • Reply Calming Winds March 5, 2020 at 9:39 pm

    Joe was clipping the mic like crazy

  • Reply selfatrophy March 5, 2020 at 10:04 pm

    Corporate america desperate to get one of their pawns in, Biden or another session of Drumpf.

  • Reply KarlM Alias March 5, 2020 at 10:08 pm

    In 1850 anyone reaching the age of 20 could be expected to live to 60.1 (males US). The best efforts of the capitalist medical system, and trillions of dollars later, we get another 17 years. Often in the company of some chronic illness or other.

  • Reply Michelle TTM March 5, 2020 at 11:11 pm

    We have the beat equipment, best hospital system, best medicines, so it is totally controlled. Does it make sense? Didn’t they know it is a new virus, all these mentioned factors won’t prevent it since we are just toooo slow.

  • Reply Isaac Helwaser March 5, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    That joke bout sar awful cus it’s S A R u say letters and that’s abvious j wanted the joke

  • Reply Haman Ezzati March 6, 2020 at 12:23 am

    The whole corp dems along with corp hack media, terrified of Bernie and people's movement, piled on top of each other against ONE man. Disgusting american "democracy"

  • Reply TheTruthIsRacist March 6, 2020 at 12:24 am

    Did the Coronavirus kill Epstein?

  • Reply ONNIE TALONE March 6, 2020 at 12:32 am

    if it can live on a door nob, we got issues they say for five days, more like who knows

  • Reply GTOberfest March 6, 2020 at 12:37 am

    If Trump gets reelected. Are you gonna cry again?…just curious. FYI Woke comedy is literally cancer to comedy itself.

  • Reply ninthRing March 6, 2020 at 1:04 am

    Most of the times that people touch their face, it's subconscious.

  • Reply Drexel Finnicum March 6, 2020 at 1:15 am

    The senator from Minnesota is definitely part of a democratic conspiracy to stop Bernie Sanders

  • Reply Bails Bails March 6, 2020 at 1:49 am

    Lyndsey is turning on you Donald, who`s he to tell you to listen to scientists when no one knows more about viruses than you.

  • Reply Sam Day March 6, 2020 at 2:02 am

    ooooooh there’s no way Trump’s a hand washer!🤞🏼🤞🏼

  • Reply Mr Yaluba March 6, 2020 at 2:08 am

    5:37 Corona bit

  • Reply Patricia Burgess March 6, 2020 at 2:10 am

    I love when Steven impersonates Bernie Sanders. LOL!!!

  • Reply Sam Day March 6, 2020 at 2:22 am

    CNN sponsored hand sanitiser at Trump rallies could be a game changer!

  • Reply Swirl King Tommy March 6, 2020 at 2:24 am

    Its pretty disgusting how he thinks the coronavirus is a joke.

  • Reply P JB March 6, 2020 at 2:41 am

    haha ya'll stay crying.

  • Reply over imagination March 6, 2020 at 2:51 am

    Boy is the world going to learn to laugh at each of your fellow americans pleading for their lives on godfundme and living out of their cars at walmart…you have your chance, look like you're going to blow it. Biden or Trump, same deal…status quo.

  • Reply James OBrienNZ March 6, 2020 at 2:56 am

    Lame

  • Reply Larry Sherrill March 6, 2020 at 3:22 am

    you aren't funny but Joe really is…

  • Reply Taryn Miller March 6, 2020 at 4:15 am

    I think that the Trump voters are going to die of Conovirus, poor people, because Trump is going to kill 20% to 70% of the American population

  • Reply bill bixby March 6, 2020 at 4:20 am

    At least he didn't contradict your father and brother's last airplane flight, Stephen? lol.

  • Reply Charlie Boisclair March 6, 2020 at 4:46 am

    Your so harsh on The Donald Mr. Colbert! He’s already told all American that this crisis will be miraculously over in early summer, that’s when he and all the loyal Trumpettes will resign. He also plans to have all his loyal Russian loving Republican buddies who recently failed to convict him of all his crime in office recently join him in mass resignations. This will be a truly miraculous cure for our crisis! Then we can vote in someone who might actually have a brain and knows how to effectively use it.

  • Reply Madison Marshall March 6, 2020 at 5:44 am

    🦠 vs. 🍑. Guess who will lose?

  • Reply William H. Baird March 6, 2020 at 5:59 am

    Now is the time to Support National Health Care! Vote BLUE!

  • Reply Duane Newen March 6, 2020 at 6:33 am

    🙏🏻Thanks to corona outbreaks animals is safer, humans and the world will be cleaners…🙏🌿🌻

  • Reply Alex333 March 6, 2020 at 6:48 am

    Not one government dual citizen from both sides has gotten coronavirus and they are all calm and cool like they got a vaccine.Actually not one western gov official from any country has coronavirus??

  • Reply Jack Jammen March 6, 2020 at 7:37 am

    Yeah Biden’s history is bad. Take a look. https://youtu.be/lSUPfnYdXFU

    And Now?? https://youtu.be/2WwFDktA3Cc
    https://youtu.be/Rj5SkjEx2TU

  • Reply lentruthbtold riv March 6, 2020 at 7:57 am

    Trumptard is WILLEY COYOTE! GENIUS PUUUURE GENIUS!

  • Reply Viola Aldred March 6, 2020 at 8:27 am

    Watch Dr Bruce Aylward‘s interview with Global News on Mar 6th. He said he’s impressed by Canada’s response. Due to what was learned from SARS etc. Plus their free healthcare system is geared to what was learned. Frankly Im more worried about the US getting really infected and spreading it.

  • Reply Oreo Pagus March 6, 2020 at 10:30 am

    EVERYBODY KNOWS – Parody of Everybody Knows by Leonard Cohen | Don Caron
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSvFnTNgSjk
    Verse 282: 
    Everybody knows he's a noxious contagion
    Everybody knows he's a truth abuser
    Everybody knows his disinformation
    He thinks reality is for losers
    Everybody knows America's schism
    He's a fact-resistant organism
    Virus lies grow
    Everybody knows

    Verse 281: 
    Everybody knows after Barr’s rebuke
    Everybody knows he was oddly quiet
    Everybody knows when he tweets a message
    His true believers very quickly buy it
    Everybody knows he hopes Bernie’s the Dem nominee
    Who’ll be the first COVID-19 vaccinee?
    Don’t shake hands, use elbows
    Everybody knows

    Verse 280: 
    Everybody knows the coronavirus
    Everybody knows he planned cuts to CDC
    Everybody knows Dr. Fauci was told
    To cancel interviews on Sunday TV
    Everybody knows credibility Be Best
    Here comes his greatest leadership test
    Let health experts run the show
    Everybody knows

    VP Pence Adds Ivanka to the Team
    https://twitter.com/mamoutoy/status/1234235995605749760/photo/1
    (Video) Trump contradicts health experts and officials on coronavirus
    https://www.msnbc.com/deadline-white-house/watch/trump-contradicts-health-experts-and-officials-on-coronavirus-80093253702
    Trump Invents Coronavirus Death Rate on ‘Hannity’
    https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-invents-coronavirus-death-rate-on-sean-hannitys-fox-news-show
    Washington D.C. Man Linked to Community Spread of Coronavirus Misinformation 
    https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/washington-dc-man-linked-to-community-spread-of-coronavirus-misinformation

    Cartoons:
    https://www.cagle.com/tag/coronavirus/
    https://www.cagle.com/news/coronavirus/
    https://www.cagle.com/john-cole/2020/02/trump-and-coronavirus
    Virus Hoax
    https://robrogers.com/2020/03/02/virus-hoax/
    Covid Cofefe
    https://claytoonz.com/2020/03/03/covid-cofefe/
    Pence Pandemic
    https://twitter.com/deAdder/status/1233468956918284294
    Woke For Trump 
    https://twitter.com/claytoonz/status/1235153679726059520
    Patient Zero
    https://www.cagle.com/bart-van-leeuwen/2020/03/patient-zero
    US Corona Cup
    https://www.cagle.com/bart-van-leeuwen/2020/02/us-corona-cup
    Corona Virus Trump
    https://www.cagle.com/bart-van-leeuwen/2020/02/corona-virus-trump
    Most Effective Way To Use A Face Mask To Keep America Safe
    https://twitter.com/newcounterpoint/status/1235610578665656321
    Viral
    https://twitter.com/DWFitzsimmons/status/1235615873143996416
    https://tucson.com/opinion/local/daily-fitz-cartoon-viral/image_16d8d327-4a33-5c96-8aa1-6150f93e3f03.html
    Lowering the Barr
    https://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/editorial-cartoon/Editorial-cartoon-for-Feb-21-2020-568044841.html

    SaltWire cartoonist de Adder first Canadian winner of prestigious Herblock Prize
    https://www.thechronicleherald.ca/news/local/saltwire-cartoonist-de-adder-first-canadian-winner-of-prestigious-herblock-prize-419433/
    Do You Mind If I Play Through?
    https://twitter.com/deAdder/status/1143931384265883650

    Chris Hayes on Trump’s failing response to coronavirus
    https://twitter.com/allinwithchris/status/1235379734554570757
    The Official Coronavirus Numbers Are Wrong, and Everyone Knows It
    https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2020/03/how-many-americans-really-have-coronavirus/607348/
    WAPO: Trump aide calls coronavirus response 'complete chaos'
    https://www.msnbc.com/11th-hour/watch/wapo-trump-aide-calls-coronavirus-response-complete-chaos-79858757623

    My Corona
    https://zdoggmd.com/my-corona/
    Coronavirus: Healthcare Workers, Vaccine, & Science Update (w/Dr. Peter Hotez)
    https://zdoggmd.com/peter-hotez-coronavirus/

    We may have passed the tipping point in the COVID-19 coronavirus outbreak 
    https://www.cbc.ca/radio/quirks/feb-29-coronavirus-containment-window-closing-whale-skin-care-gingko-trees-eternal-youth-and-more-1.5479343/we-may-have-passed-the-tipping-point-in-the-covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-1.5479345

    Trump And Pence Are The Last Two People On Earth Who Should Be Leading A Global Health Crisis
    https://www.politicususa.com/2020/02/29/trump-pence-last-two-people-on-earth-who-should-be-leading-global-health-crisis.html

    Pence In Charge of Coronavirus Response
    https://twitter.com/deadder/status/1233390702018650118
    Get Thee Away, Coronavirus!
    https://twitter.com/laloalcaraz/status/1233871949324898305
    US Public Health Alert: Avoid the Dreaded Pendejovirus
    https://twitter.com/laloalcaraz/status/1234168873194160129
    Pence is New Coronavirus Czar
    https://www.cagle.com/dave-whamond/2020/02/pence-is-new-coronavirus-czar
    Greg Perry: Down, down
    https://www.thestar.com/opinion/editorial_cartoon/2020/03/01/greg-perry-down-down.html
    Greg Perry: Trump reality 
    https://www.thestar.com/opinion/editorial_cartoon/2016/10/24/greg-perry-trump-reality.html
    Trump-Pence Coronavirus response doesn’t instill confidence
    https://www.cleveland.com/darcy/2020/02/trump-pence-coronavirus-response-doesnt-instill-confidence-darcy-cartoon.html

    Coronavirus Cold Open – SNL
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4qvO0StKto
    https://globalnews.ca/news/6615097/snl-cold-open-john-mulaney/
    'SNL' targets coronavirus and Democratic presidential candidates
    https://www.nbcnews.com/video/-snl-targets-coronavirus-and-democratic-presidential-candidates-79757893658

    Did President Trump Cut the CDC Budget?
    https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/trump-cut-cdc-budget/
    Did Trump try to cut the CDC's budget as Democrats claim?: ANALYSIS
    https://abcnews.go.com/Politics/trump-cut-cdcs-budget-democrats-claim-analysis/story?id=69233170
    Chuck Todd Grills Pence, Says It Feels Like Team Trump’s ‘Gaslighting’ on Dems’ Coronavirus Rhetoric
    https://www.thedailybeast.com/chuck-todd-grills-pence-says-it-feels-like-team-trumps-gaslighting-on-dems-coronavirus-rhetoric
    Full Pence interview 
    https://www.nbcnews.com/meet-the-press/video/pence-fundamentals-of-this-economy-are-strong-79753797795

    (1:04 mark) Fmr. Ebola Czar: U.S 'So Far Behind' On Coronavirus Response | Hallie Jackson | MSNBC
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wMMtpNl4-xM
    Rep. Garamendi: NIH official canceled on five Sunday talk shows after Pence's office 'took over'
    https://thehill.com/homenews/media/485147-rep-garamendi-nih-director-fauci-cancelled-on-five-sunday-talk-shows-after
    Rep. Garamendi: CDC made 'very gross mistake' with Coronavirus evacuees
    https://www.msnbc.com/hallie-jackson/watch/rep-garamendi-cdc-made-very-gross-mistake-with-coronavirus-evacuees-79614021568

    Trump's Coronavirus Press Conference, Fact Checked | NowThis
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7X5tXmOw7M
    Trump faces credibility test as he plays down virus threat
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67vZkvi4RHk
    Trump lacks credibility amid coronavirus crisis
    https://www.cnn.com/videos/business/2020/03/01/trump-lacks-credibility-amid-coronavirus-crisis.cnn
    Fact-checking President Trump’s coronavirus news conference
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2020/02/28/fact-checking-president-trumps-coronavirus-news-conference/
    …Trump’s credibility on these assurances has been hurt by previous Pollyannaish statements.

    Under Control
    https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cover-story/cover-story-2020-03-09
    The greatest chase sequence in movie history
    At 48 second mark, Wallace says: "Hang in there, Gromit! Everything's under control!"
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jrmZIgVoQw4
    Psychiatrist on Trump’s ‘dangerous’ response to coronavirus crisis
    http://www.msnbc.com/the-last-word/watch/psychiatrist-on-trump-s-dangerous-response-to-coronavirus-crisis-79587909614

  • Reply troels kristensen March 6, 2020 at 1:16 pm

    Congratulation Obama, for your successful effort to bring the corporate Democrats together around a half-senile man, who doesn't know what state he is in, and can't tell the difference between his wife and his sister. Okay, Trump was sending his thoughts and prayers to the good people of Toledo. Biden however managed to trump Trump, showing he still remains the champion of gaffes. Biden was sending his compassionate thoughts to people in Houston for mass shootings in El Paso, and Michigan the day before (which happened in Dayton Ohio).

  • Reply Frozen North Woods March 6, 2020 at 1:44 pm

    I honestly don't know how anyone can make fun of just one of these men's age(Biden, Bernie, Trump)..they are all super old..I think it's about time to get some laws in place so they can't be over 55 so that they are still with all facilities and in touch with current society. Or we are just going to keep getting ancient white guys..

  • Reply Sheena345 M March 6, 2020 at 2:18 pm

    Stephen gets better looking with age.

  • Reply R D March 6, 2020 at 2:23 pm

    Beto, really?!

  • Reply Keith Urquhart March 6, 2020 at 3:51 pm

    History repeats itself

  • Reply Joshua Bartlett March 6, 2020 at 4:05 pm

    Well let's be honest, Carolina is a pretty sounding name.

  • Reply bcvbb hyui March 6, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    solid vaccines better than anyone, believe me…' God help us all…..

  • Reply persain empire March 6, 2020 at 4:13 pm

    Thanks mr president. and your great group special mr pompeo and great generals of usa you are cover by god and holysprit for fighting with darkness god bless you thanks agian it dosnt matters what happen just we know you did best for usa and iran and world best thing is you show real face of these enemy not only for iranian but also enemy of human and world they are most stupid. and wildest animal unknown ever come to power more wilder than moghol and changiz they are not iranian and heat us and Saudi Arabia and Israel and world they are so dangerous than daish or taliban and alghaedeh because they didnt have lot money or land but they have and they do any thing under our country s name they are arab and came to iran from Palestinian border with Lebanon by Russia support and england and france and…after most scandal in historical in 1979 they are thives iranian dont accept any thing they did and singed under our name. and they must pay and answer to world and iranian and thier country support them thanke agian god bless usa and isreal and iran and all the world

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