Articles, Blog

People Didn’t Believe My Mental Illness

January 18, 2020


– She basically called me a quitter. – One guy, just told me
that he just didn’t believe. – It was kind of so dismissive
and I felt super embarrassed for confronting a doctor about it. I have anxiety, panic-disorder
and a mild hint of OCD. It sounds a lot like a cocktail, when I say it like that though. – I overcame anorexia and bulimia. – I have struggled with
depression for most of my life. – I have Premenstrual
dysphoric disorder, or PMDD. – Postpartum onset mental illness. – Depression and anxiety – I started modeling in high school. It was ingrained in us pretty quickly that food was the enemy. If you wanna be the girl
who gets dates to prom, if you want to be popular,
you gotta be skinny. – I had a great boyfriend, great friends, it’s like depression
always loves to choose the most perfect time to kind of come in and shake up your life. The next thing I knew
it was a month or two of me not leaving my bed. Me starting to cut, blacking out, literally my mind going blank
and not knowing what happened. – I get laid off from
my job within two weeks and I find out I’m pregnant. But like 22 weeks pregnant
and I couldn’t tell if I was puking from like anxiety or morning sickness anymore. – With PMDD, you have symptoms like two weeks before your period. So, for two weeks you are a monster, for one week your bleeding, and then have one normal week of the month where you feel kind of okay. – I moved abroad to South America, I was invited to launch a
youth employment program. Two weeks later after I moved, my dad is rushed to the emergency room. I started losing weight,
my hair started falling out and I couldn’t sleep at night. I just wasn’t myself anymore. – I started with like 1500 calories and then I remember one
day I reached 900 calories. And I was like “Oh, God,
I don’t even need food. I got a boyfriend, and
I got into college.” So, society reinforces
behavior that I had. I never ate the soft-serve
ice cream at my college, like that’s the biggest,
that’s why go to college right? – I was just like hanging
out with my friends, it was a very casual night, and then my heart started hurting. I just remember thinking I’m
a 20-year-old college student and I’m having a heart attack. – I wanted to be a parent, I had looked forward to being pregnant. I remember distinctly just like
lying on the bathroom floor, thinking like I will never
advance beyond this place, that I am at right now. – When I first realized
something might be wrong, I was brushing my hair, and I had entire patch of hair come out. And I started crying, I tell my friend and she was like, “That’s
cause you have problem.” She said it very judgmentally like, I think the thing that
isolates us the most when you’re going through
an eating disorder, is the shame that’s built into it. They think that you’re
doing this to yourself and there’s a lot of shame surrounding it. Which can be paralyzing. – In my community therapy is already seen as something for crazy people. I don’t wanna like tell somebody I’m like “Oh, like hey, can y’all
send me to therapy?” – I couldn’t return phone calls, I just kind of sat in my house with my newborn baby, isolated. – It really took a toll on
a lot of my relationships, specifically with this
boyfriend, at the time we would be on the phone
for like four hours at a time, and I would like be laughing and then crying and then
angry and then fine. And it was insane. – I like wanted to go
to the emergency room, I went and saw doctor. They were like, seems like
you’re just like stressed, but they didn’t like put
any sort of like label on what was happening to me,
it was kind of so dismissive. They asked if I had been drinking, and I felt super embarrassed for confronting a doctor about it. – Going to the staff members
of this organization, I’m working for. I established that
something was wrong with me, I explained to them
everything like my symptoms, they just didn’t take it seriously. It was like a big slap in the face. – I didn’t really know
who to talk to about it, I didn’t want people to tell me that, you know, I was fine
or that I seemed fine. Cause I know I seemed
fine, but I didn’t feel it. I felt like a monster. I think with this stigma that’s already surrounds periods and PMS if there’s gonna be one thing that’s gonna be not
believed its probably PMDD. – I was sleeping literally
30 minutes a night because I couldn’t fall asleep. That’s when I was like, I
have to get help for this. – My parents decided to take
me to a bunch of doctors and not a single one was a therapist. My mom thought oh, maybe you know, you’re eating something funky. And I’m like. “Yeah, for a month.” And then I went to another doctor, and they told me I was
probably deficient of vitamins. – I had been looking up my symptoms, and found, and it’s like if
you have over 10 of these, you probably have PMDD. So, I kind of self diagnosed. I went to the doctor, and he was like, “Oh, did you look at
those symptoms lists?” I was like, “Yeah.” And he was like, “You probably have PMDD.” – I mean I was unable to function, so I couldn’t call my best friend. A basic assumption for
most of them, was like, “Oh, she has a kid, she’s done with us.” My best friend was incredibly hurt. I was really hurt, because
she wasn’t recognizing what I was going through. – My boyfriend sat me down and he said, “You don’t have to talk to me, but you need to talk to someone. And then he later became my husband, so, I think I had such a hard time because I come from a very
old school households. Where if you have problems but maybe you don’t talk about them. – I still don’t talk to
my family about this stuff like if I told them, they’d be like, “Have a glass of wine.” – I was in college at the time
I weighed like 108 pounds. I remember sitting in my voice class with a professor that I loved, and I wasn’t hearing
anything that she was saying, because I was just thinking
about food the entire time. Getting help for these
sorts of things takes years. – College, I tried to
open up to new people and kind of making friends
and be real about it, and I remember this one guy just told me that he just didn’t believe
in like any depressants. It’s hard to find people who will listen, and understand and just listen. And like not try to diagnose. – When I talk to doctors, they’d be like, “Oh, maybe you need to sleep more, or maybe you need to take
a break from school.” And I always felt like it was cited as something that I was doing wrong. I wanted a doctor that said to me, “I think you have panic disorder.” – I remember speaking to one of the staff members
of the organization, who basically called me a quitter. And in that moment I knew
I’m going home immediately, because that’s what I
need to do for myself. – I went to my college’s
mental health center, they basically told me I was like probably stressing
myself out with academics and extracurriculars and
like big bubble baths. And I was like, “If only
it could be so easy.” I knew depression could
cause physical ailments, but this was like on
a whole another level. It turns out I do have
an autoimmune disease, depression is one of
the big symptoms of it. – I was at my obstetrician’s
office, I said, “Oh, you know I think I’m really hormonal, I’m just like sweating all the time.” And she was like, “You
are having a panic attack. I’m watching you. You need to be in therapy tomorrow, and here’s the person that
you’re going to go see.” – When I went to rehab for the first time, I remember meeting women who talked about how they were on the other
side of their anorexia. And I thought to myself,
“Oh, that would never be me, this is just who I am
for the rest my life.” And I can definitely say
there is another side. The key to healing is
taking away the shame. If there’s anybody out
there who’s like telling you that this is your fault, that you are doing this
to yourself, you’re not. – I went to the event for women who had survived postpartum depression. We made a video to sort of saying like, “Look here, we all are
you know, we’re all okay.” And I started crying. I was just like, oh, she’s talking to me. Like this is for me,
I’m one of these people. It was just an incredible
moment of finding community. – Having a friend that I can say, “I can’t come tonight
because I’m really anxious.” I then felt like I could
be honest with therapists, I could be honest with doctors, and then when doctors said, “I just think you need a
little bit more sleep.” I had the confidence to push back and say, “Well. I can’t get to
sleep because I’m anxious.” I need an action plan. – I literally googled a therapist. Finding someone that
I can really be honest and talk to about, was really important. – I got myself back into
fairly intensive care and I felt happy for the first
time in January of last year. – Don’t be afraid to reach out for help, identify who your community is. Those are people that are
always gonna believe you even when others don’t. – These habits are not you, these habits have become
a part of your routine, but they are not you. – When your brain says
you are a fucking loser, that is a lie, you are
not fucking loser (laughs) – If you tell your friends and family about your mental illness
and they don’t understand, that’s a them thing, it’s not a you thing. You have to foster
friendships and relationships with people who understand
what’s going on with you. – I have a tattoo to remind me that there are millions
of other women out there who understand exactly what I go through. – If you are going through this, and you ever meet me just ask for a hug, cause God, I would have loved that. – Some people might not believe you, but I believe you, just reach out to someone doesn’t have to be someone
you know, but anyone. (gentle music)

100 Comments

  • Reply Leah Lounsbury June 18, 2019 at 5:26 am

    I deal with an undiagnosed eating problem. Seeing Devin like that, saying all she was saying, it helped. I have a long way to go, but this is one step in the right direction for me.

  • Reply Emily Jessop June 18, 2019 at 10:59 pm

    I hate self-diagnosing, but my parents won't take me to a doctor and I show most, if not all, the symptoms of anxiety. The worst panic attack I've ever had was in a bar on a school trip, and no one noticed that I was shaking and crying and hyperventilating in the corner. I just couldn't take it anymore, and ran outside. One of the teachers told me to go back inside, but I just shook my head frantically at him. The other teacher that was outside at the time happened to be my favourite teacher, and the only person that noticed something was wrong with me that entire night. She took me on a walk around the campsite just to calm me down, and words can't even express how grateful I was to have her there.

  • Reply Arthur Morgan June 19, 2019 at 9:59 am

    I feel like because I’m a man I can’t tell people because they’ll just make it worse and embarrass me. I have tried telling my mom and she wouldn’t believe me I’m only 13 and I want to kill myself I don’t want to talk to people, people scare me and shame me I just need help though. I feel stuck.

  • Reply Kitty True June 19, 2019 at 4:08 pm

    All the dislikes are from the doctors that didn’t believe them

  • Reply Alice Fletcher June 19, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    The only reason I don’t believe my ‘friend’ is that she straight up told me she lied about it to get other people in more trouble and she knows anything about that hurts me. I haven’t believed anything she or most other people have said without proof since

  • Reply Erin Vroman June 19, 2019 at 11:50 pm

    My Bully/“friend” said that anxiety is not real. And I have not bin diagnosed with it so I don’t want to diagnose myself but my friend had anxiety. I felt attacked for her! He was going on and on how it’s not real and people make it up for attention. And then he said depression is not real and it’s not true folks! They are real and even tho you can hold it see it it’s definitely there

  • Reply Xavier June 20, 2019 at 1:44 am

    Can we just gather all the good folks out there and make one nation? No assholes allowed for entry. Let them be toxic outside of those walls of ours.

  • Reply Marks rap In jopping June 21, 2019 at 6:24 am

    How did devin get over it ? I’m stuck in a routine of starving and I feel horrible:(

  • Reply Tinie Whales June 24, 2019 at 1:37 am

    I have bipolar disorder. I knew from a young age that I had bipolar but I grew up with parents that barley took me to the doctor unless it was mandatory for school. I didnt start going to a doctor till I was 17 and even then it started with other diagnoses I didnt have a doctor that listened to me about my mental health till I was 20. It then took months to get me on a medication that worked

  • Reply jen _del04 June 25, 2019 at 12:14 am

    I can't believe people don't believe in mental disorders. It's so stupid. There are so many studies.

  • Reply Arthemis Cstn June 25, 2019 at 10:39 pm

    I have social anxiety,and people tend to say "Oh,you're just shy" or "Why don't you try to be more open and go towards people?" Or "Why don't you take acting classes,it helped me to not be so shy"…sadly,people don't understand the difference between being shy and having a breakdown while entering a class full of people THAT YOU KNOW but don't dare to talk to because you're constantly thinking about f*cking up whatever you say. People don't understand how bad it feels having a nervous breakdown as soon as the teacher asks you something and you end up crying because you basically can't verbalize your answer…sadly they don't understand how hard it can be to interact with people without nitpicking every single little detail about the way you talk,the things you say,if you say them correctly,if your ideas are in place…even talking to a cashier makes you fear interaction…but people just sadly label it as "shyness" while it's a serious problem…

  • Reply star shibe June 28, 2019 at 8:29 am

    Iam going through pmdd Nd getting no help from people I suppose to do sad 😔 iam tired now

  • Reply X Love July 2, 2019 at 9:28 pm

    Thank you for these types of videos. They give me hope that maybe I'll be okay one day.

  • Reply Traci K July 6, 2019 at 12:48 am

    It is so very depressing and disheartening to be a British person hearing Americans talking about how they got the help they needed for mental health (not that I begrudge them getting it) because over here there is no help available on the nhs (which everyone has to pay for in their taxes) despite the high need for it. There is no insurance you can get for mental health services, private care costs in the region of £60 to £120 per session. Unless a person is actually a danger to others, and even then unlikely to get help, they just wait for them to set fire to their mother’s house then put them in prison.

  • Reply Nadia Gonzalez July 6, 2019 at 5:06 am

    I really think depression anxiety and other mental illnesses should be taken much more seriously

  • Reply Maria De Luna July 6, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    The thing that is horrible is 13 year olds self diagnosing themselves and not understanding what depression is.
    They assume it's just being sad, but it's so much more and requires a medical diagnosis

  • Reply mira chen July 8, 2019 at 1:22 am

    I have moderate bipolar disorder, some social anxiety, and ocd. It’s tough to open up to people about your mental illness especially when you’re afraid they’ll reject you.

  • Reply it'svenom bro July 11, 2019 at 11:08 pm

    I'm a guy with mental illness and I have a mental disability problem and for all my life that I can remember I was nothing but a troublemaker in high school and now they put me in special education I have ADHD and a speech problem and I didn't get my first job until the age of 25 now I'm taking a huge price for it I have no friends

  • Reply The Rockaholic Experience! July 12, 2019 at 1:41 pm

    I have major depressive disorder with psychotic features. I finally reached out for help yesterday, and I don't feel like my doctor really took me seriously, he didn't really do anything to try and helpe find the right treatment, so now I feel like I need to do something crazy so I'll be taken seriously, it's his fault for not takibg me seriously the first time. He was my PCP he's not even a psychiatrist and he prescribed me anti psychotic, there's no way that he had enough information topic my on anti psychotics. Anyways I'm not taking them, because I think he's wrong.

  • Reply F i o n a July 16, 2019 at 1:34 am

    For anyone down here who suffers from any form of mental illness. I just want to let you know that I believe you

  • Reply Elly Green July 18, 2019 at 1:59 am

    When she said “and then I got down to 900 calories” my first thought was “that’s so many!”……… maybe I need to look into that

  • Reply Emilia Bowden July 18, 2019 at 4:57 am

    For some reason I remembered Devin was in avpm

  • Reply Peter Hamlet July 20, 2019 at 10:59 pm

    CAN I GIVE YOU ALL MY MONEY WOW WE NEED HILLARY

  • Reply Boi The finger July 23, 2019 at 2:36 pm

    I have to say this but people that say that they have a mental illness and self diagnose themselves are ruining this for people who actually have a mental illness. Its really hard for women because everyone assums they are overeacting or wanting attention and it is mostly society's fault because they glamourized having depression, anxiety etc. It is seen as a cry for attention rathar than a something that can ruin someone's life.

  • Reply Nakashima Asuka July 24, 2019 at 10:06 pm

    In Know what it feels like, I have OCD, and Mild hints of ADHD, ADD and other things, sometimes I do the randomest things in class, because of my OCD. I wont go into detail of them, its personal. But I remember when my "friend' leaked it out to the school. I was called names like, "attention seeker" and "fake". My heart shattered into smaller pieces everytime I heard that. Rumors went arounds our school, and somehow spread to the next town over. I just stopped trying, and gave up a little on life. Kids would make of me, and do things with my OCD just to see me do it. I suffered a lot at that time and I still suffer from those disorders, and from those people. Just so you know, your situation will get better. 🙂

  • Reply Nia Kusuma July 25, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    I have depression and anxiety. The worst thing is one of the source of it is from my own family. Now idk how to survive from it. My friends gone one by one. My family keep pressuring me. And i keep getting mild panic attack. It's so hard to find someone who can understand it here. But a lot of people underestimate it.

  • Reply My hips bleed July 26, 2019 at 7:39 am

    Devin saying that soft serve ice creams are why people go to college made me think that this could be a lighthearted video? And then I started crying.

  • Reply Kati Agrella July 26, 2019 at 7:46 pm

    Personally I think the words "depression," "anxiety," and "OCD" have lost their meaning… If you're sad, you have depression. You get nervous, you have anxiety, and if you're a perfectionist, you have OCD

  • Reply spike July 27, 2019 at 5:47 pm

    People still think I'm ok but I'm not! Nothing works:(

  • Reply Javine Whitter July 28, 2019 at 7:35 pm

    7:35 I'm sorry it's tge wrong place and time but her roots

  • Reply talaiya July 31, 2019 at 11:35 am

    Sad thing is ive never met anyone who is generally happy most people I know have some mental illness including me

  • Reply rose July 31, 2019 at 5:02 pm

    I didn’t know that other people blacked out too

  • Reply rose July 31, 2019 at 5:06 pm

    My doctor dismissed all my symptoms as grief and they turned out to be depression anxiety and ptsd so I hate that doctor now.

  • Reply Vaga Bound August 2, 2019 at 9:25 am

    Thank you for this video 💚

  • Reply ItzNikaWolf August 3, 2019 at 11:08 am

    I have depression and my switch classmates last year are faking depression.
    I feel like they are all mocking me, cause I cry so much.

  • Reply Euthanasia should be Legal worldwide August 4, 2019 at 6:00 am

    Mental illness is just as bad as terminal illness I mean yes terminal illness is worse but mental illness sucks bec ur not dying so u end up suffering from it for a lifetime sometimes it’s treatable but for me it’s not. I really wish euthanasia would be allowed for people with severe mental Illnesses

  • Reply dresk sk August 7, 2019 at 4:32 am

    Thanks, this video just made me realize that I got misdiagnoze for something I really dont have thanks

  • Reply Kade Taulbee August 8, 2019 at 4:58 am

    As a high school student struggling with clinical depression, anxiety, ADHD, and insomnia, I hope one day I’m in the place these women are, in a comfortable position where they can talk openly about it. A place where they understand themselves.

  • Reply Lara Brandt August 8, 2019 at 3:34 pm

    I love every one of these women they are so dang strong and they know it 💖

  • Reply Pamela Halpert August 8, 2019 at 5:40 pm

    Am I the only person that has moments when I just feel so bad about myself and my actions that I just cry?

  • Reply Sophie Cogger August 9, 2019 at 3:26 pm

    I have autism and ADHD. I understand what people go through as people don't believe me when I tell them. I think that they don't believe me because I take medication for it and my autism covers my ADHD. When people say that I'm lying is say 'Just believe me or ask my parent, teacher or my doctor` I have two friends who believe me and they expect me. Others don't but I don't give a f*ck anymore. I'm only 10 but I'm stronger now than I used to be and I think that it is amazing that you can speak to the Internet about it. Although I will never get rid of my autism and ADHD.

  • Reply Fantasy Bee August 12, 2019 at 3:12 am

    I mean I wish people would talk more about men they have mental disorders I've meant about five dudes with eating disorders and I've seem 8 dudes with depression and 6 with other disorders

  • Reply Working Hands August 14, 2019 at 1:03 am

    0:22 what was that thing with the tongue? XD

  • Reply Stephanie Craig August 17, 2019 at 1:24 am

    I have depression, anxiety, and OCD. Life’s not easy. Not for anyone. I feel for these girls.

  • Reply Fleur Fleur August 18, 2019 at 3:49 pm

    People don’t believe that I struggle with food. Well, I don’t but my body does. I can’t eat much in one go and get nauseous after I eat (the more I eat the stronger the feeling of throwing up gets) Sometimes I even get a bit nauseous after drinking and I have alot of stomach aches. I like eating/food but I don’t like big meals, my favorite type of foods are small things but alot, so it feels like I’m eating much without getting nauseous fast

    I honestly don’t know what it is, I should probably go to a doctor but it sucks that people don’t believe me and force me to eat more (I get the concern but damn it’s very uncomfortable for me to eat more, I’ve pushed myself to do so a few times and it sucked)

  • Reply Beth Garcia August 20, 2019 at 9:54 am

    Thank you so much for making this video! ❤ all of you lady's are strong beautiful women. I am bipolar and struggle with my mental illness, it helps break the stigma that surrounds mental illness when we are open and speak up! Xoxo

  • Reply special special August 21, 2019 at 7:10 am

    Devin is a capricorn. Im a capricorn also. Capricorns are prone to depression and mental illness. Its the worst thing.

  • Reply Audrey Violet August 24, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    My mom doesn’t believe my mental illnesses, cause like the girl said it sounds kinda like a cocktail, but I’m about to start therapy so hopefully my therapist believes me

  • Reply Isabella Moran August 26, 2019 at 6:57 pm

    My life is chaotic.Im non-binary,I have depression,anxiety,and anorexia.No one cares.But I want to help other people but I’ve learned that you can’t help other people until you help yourself.

  • Reply Naomi Partridge August 26, 2019 at 7:37 pm

    You girls are awesome for talking about these challenges. So much love and respect ❤💙💚💛💜

  • Reply Lindsay Domboski September 3, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    I have bipolar disorder, ADHD, and autism. I was diagnosed when I was little and I was very lucky to have a very supportive family. Thank you for being brave enough to speak about mental illness. I still have people who tell me, “ you seem so normal “ I am normal. So thank you.

  • Reply Kristen Miller September 4, 2019 at 7:24 pm

    I felt this so much. I have bad anxiety, depression, panic attacks, OCD, and I formerly had an eating disorder. It’s so hard to go through life when someone tells me that it’s my fault that I feel the ways that I do.

  • Reply EarthArtBalance September 5, 2019 at 9:15 pm

    Thank you for this! "the key to healing is taking away the shame"

  • Reply HarryPotter87 September 7, 2019 at 1:48 am

    It's sad that many people are stigmatizing mental illness.

  • Reply fallen stars September 9, 2019 at 6:11 am

    I have depression, anxiety, anorexia, panic disorder, and social anxiety. It feels like no one understands me and I'm so overwhelmed with trying to do what everyone else seems to do so easily.

  • Reply / Danger September 11, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    They should have brought in someone with ADHD cause most people don’t think it’s real even some professionals don’t believe in it

  • Reply Jordan Parkes September 12, 2019 at 5:20 pm

    This is very impactful and helpful for me knowing I'm not alone in any of these thing. Thank you

  • Reply Barrier Boy September 15, 2019 at 2:26 am

    I QUESTION MYSELF literally every day, even as i gag down the fistful of pills i take thrice daily. i then have to remind myself of my resume.

    i just want to be ok with who i am. i want to be ok with being unwell. i dont need to earn it, it simply is. IM ALLOWED TO BE SICK JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE lol

  • Reply Lizzy Anne Smith September 15, 2019 at 3:59 am

    So, this may sound weird but I literally just knew this is a disorder and when I heard about it I was shook because I thought I was alone. I have trichotillomania which is a disorder where you just have that desire of pulling your own hair and I would be humiliated by my family because of it. My cousins basically make fun of me. My mother would tell me to stop but I just can't I can't control such urge to pull. It's hard that not much people know about this disorder and people would tend to think it's just a bad habit

  • Reply Kukuchanxia cuteee September 16, 2019 at 3:07 pm

    I have paranoid personality disorder and my best friends sometimes jokes on it and it feel so bad that I can't even express myself 😭

  • Reply Laura M September 24, 2019 at 7:27 am

    the shame and guilt that comes not only with eating disorders but all mental illness'

  • Reply liliesandcupcakes September 27, 2019 at 6:09 am

    This is why I do not like doctors (general practitioner's), yes they're human, but in my experience if your medical concerns are not physical and aren't identifiable in a blood test – they aren't very helpful. I've had many doctors like this.

  • Reply o September 27, 2019 at 6:40 am

    someone didnt believe my OCD and it really just killed me.
    It's such a terrible feeling when someone says "you're faking it for attention" or "stop lying".

  • Reply _PurplePebble_ September 29, 2019 at 12:42 pm

    My mum literally said – that only 'mad' people goes to psychiatrist or a psychologist ~ha ha ha~

    :'D

  • Reply A H October 1, 2019 at 6:51 pm

    We don't talk about PMDD enough. It's real and effects more women than we realize. I have it and until I became aware of that, I literally thought I was absolutely insane. The way she described it is spot on.

  • Reply FlyingMonkies325 October 7, 2019 at 7:46 am

    You forget to mention though that this isn't just something that happens before your period but it's a daily, lifelong struggle because you're depressed, anxious, restless and fatigued all the time too, i'm starting to look into PMS and PMDD cos since i was 15 and started at depression, anxiety, excessive hair growth, it worsening at 17 and hit with really bad mood swings, high libido like i couldn't come down from it… until around 24 like a few months before my 25th birthday the mood swings then dropped but replaced with a low libido and went from irregular periods to 1 – 3 a year, again worsening other symptoms, now it's changed to my periods getting a little bit heavier.

    I also get bouts' of darker depression, anxiety, fatigue and restlessness frequently and as i said i only get periods 1 – 3 times a year but it may happen when my body tried to ovulate or when my body thinks it should be on it's period i'm not sure… but it only happens once in a month but some months i don't get like that either, i may also get symptoms 2 – 3 days before my period too like my energy will drop and i'll go more depressed or i'll feel really euphoric until the period hits, most times though i just get normal period symptoms, it's the rest of the time that's the struggle. When reading up about PMS and PMDD it also says it can affect women every day of the month and it makes a whole lot of sense and i think to A LOT more of us women than we think.

  • Reply CandyCat October 11, 2019 at 12:18 pm

    but when do you know you have a mental disorder…?
    what if it has become an every day thing and you are so used to it that you don't recognise it as such…(does that make sense..?)

  • Reply Jenn Villegas October 16, 2019 at 5:55 am

    This is sad and people will start caring and believing when you're gone.

  • Reply [Nadok Knows] October 20, 2019 at 3:48 am

    “Muna-You’re fine, children can’t possibly have anxiety.”

    “Muna-You can’t cut your wrists, you’re just stressed. Go to sleep.”

    “Sorry Muna, your brother needs some help right now. Go to bed.”

    “Muna, people can’t be gay. It’s just being influenced by kids at school…Go to bed.”

    “Muna, you’re so skinny! You’re not Anorexic.”

    Life is tough for kids too. -_-

  • Reply Makenna Queen October 20, 2019 at 7:40 am

    I have anxiety and panic disorder and this makes me feel less alone <3

  • Reply Some One October 23, 2019 at 10:16 pm

    Make more videos like this I have anxiety and it makes me feel like I’m not alone

  • Reply Art Junkie October 28, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    I struggle with social anxiety in particular.. and the pressure that you put on yourself or what you think others are putting on you is unbearable sometimes. I would use things like making my friends laugh or do something good for them to make them smile, was my way of telling myself that I was good enough, that this was normal. I continued to do this everyday and even categorize the good days and bad days based on how much I made them laugh or smile… this on going cycle went on for years, and I’m getting better with dealing with it to this day but still have those oppressing thoughts. For anyone who suffers from social anxiety, anxiety in general, or just any type of mental illness, just keep fighting! People who don’t suffer don’t understand the fact that your brain is fighting you and pushing you down… just keep fighting cause the worst is behind you!!

  • Reply Leah Johnston November 4, 2019 at 8:43 am

    i wish i could give them all a hug but expecially devin.

  • Reply nina November 4, 2019 at 6:30 pm

    I want my 12 year old self to watch this

  • Reply Paige Crunkramos November 6, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    💕💕💕💕💕💕

  • Reply Blossomness Studios November 7, 2019 at 1:24 am

    I had no idea devin went through that!

  • Reply Naomi Parsons November 7, 2019 at 4:37 am

    I have anorexia and I hate myself. I want to make myself throw up but I'm scared to. I also have minor germophobia and OCD. Also with my anorexia comes occasional depression

  • Reply Guidi Angelica November 8, 2019 at 1:20 pm

    I just want to give all of them a hug❤️

  • Reply Khaled Fheed November 18, 2019 at 7:50 am

    I tried a lot of treatments and did not find better than listening to the Koran to him it brings complete psychological comfort and heal the brain cells because it is heavenly God

  • Reply Illary Rocha Productions November 20, 2019 at 1:46 pm

    Wow i love this :,)

  • Reply Talia KIRCA November 26, 2019 at 5:13 pm

    For the past couple of months I struggled a lot with anxiety and once I told my mom that I think a therapy could help me she said : why do you need a therapy you are overreacting again everybody is anxious sometimes ! Since the day my mom said that to me I‘ve been crying cause I feel so alone . She always understood me and supported me but it I feel like at this point she doesn’t believe me which is so unusual for her …

  • Reply Layfon Bishop November 29, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    My illness sounds like something out of Sci fi. It has paralysed me and I can't talk to anyone about it to anyone without diluting the situation down to something that won't get me locked up. It's eating me up inside 😋

  • Reply Scarlet West December 1, 2019 at 9:40 pm

    I never ate the soft serve ice cream, I mean that's why you go to college right

  • Reply LizzyGrace 42 December 8, 2019 at 12:35 am

    I have this really toxic "friend" that told my other friend she thinks she fakes her anxiety

  • Reply Gail Farcht December 11, 2019 at 4:02 am

    yea I have depression and anxiety and my mom said its just for attention

  • Reply Rin Rin Gacha December 24, 2019 at 9:51 pm

    I can relate so much 😞

  • Reply The Jobless Coder December 26, 2019 at 7:25 am

    I have severe OCD which contributed to getting kicked out of my works office. When I told my boss about the OCD he just laughed in my face and told me that mental illness was a joke and that I needed to stop making excuses

  • Reply Alisa Jeffery December 26, 2019 at 9:50 pm

    Relatable

  • Reply Cecia Amairani December 28, 2019 at 8:37 pm

    I've struggled with anxiety ever since I was young. At first I had no idea what anxiety was. I would just get these feelings in my throat and stomach that made it hard to breathe. It felt like there was an elephant on my chest. As I got older, the elephant would come at random times like being w friends or family. I've gone to therapy in secret because my dad does not believe in therapy. He thinks therapy is for someone who is crazy. I'm not crazy, I just have random moments where my brain thinks of every possible worst case scenario and turns my world upside down. I can't do confrontation or arguments because that triggers my anxiety. I break down crying and people think it's because I'm weak. I'm not weak, this is my anxiety showing and it sucks not being able to stop it. Writing down my surroundings and/or my feelings (depending on what triggered my anxiety) helps slow down the anxiety. Sorry this is long

  • Reply Shelby land December 30, 2019 at 5:43 pm

    I'm struggling with anxiety, depression, and anorexia

  • Reply rashida mustafa December 31, 2019 at 5:48 pm

    The most annoying question asked being depressed is "how are you depressed" it's not something you can control

  • Reply H L January 1, 2020 at 10:28 am

    I have anxiety and my school say "I am fine" because I take medication…

  • Reply syarifa este January 2, 2020 at 4:12 pm

    God. I really know how it's feel when someone take you for granted. I feel like I'm worthless and useless become a human cause nobody even believe me while they are just judge me.

  • Reply Elizabeth Mellings January 2, 2020 at 11:38 pm

    I want a hug from Devin now😭

  • Reply no u uwu January 5, 2020 at 2:45 am

    Idk how write meaningfully or anything like that but whatever……

    While growing up in a family where most of my siblings were foreigners, the subject or even the word: "Mental Illness" was a taboo and even possibly considered a weakness cause the media made mental illness look bad and my parents are idiots to belive that. Anyway,i still remember all the criticism i got after my first physicatricy (is that how you spell it? I apologize of it isnt) appointment. I think literally a week or so ago me and two of my friends were talking about our depression and then i noted about my other friend who honestly is… Well in my opinion offensive cause she would say she has depression when it was very clear to me that she didn't and she clearly doesn't understand the silence and pain that depression causes and that she's clearly using mental illness as a tool for popularity which makes me sick at the thought. Im only on year 2 of depression but im not sure what i am anymore. I'm on the fence (it means inbetween if you didn't know) on having either anxiety and or possible DID personality disorder but idk. Anyway if you read this much, thank you and ik it sounds crappy but i just wanted to release my bottled up thoughts into one writing. I hope your feeling well!

  • Reply Rainydaypiano Tunes January 5, 2020 at 5:31 am

    When I was 14, I started feeling chronically empty, had horrible angry outbursts, couldn’t leave my bed because I felt so bad, and ended up attempting suicide by overdosing on my mother’s medication. and all I got from the doctor I saw, was that the reason I felt bad was because my thyroid was low, my hormones were out of whack, and I needed it regulated. My parents were angry with my behavior, and I was constantly told to be happier, to stop being an ungrateful brat. It took 8 years, and 2 more suicide attempts to be properly diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder. I’m still bitter about it, and I really feel mental illness needs to be taken more seriously.

  • Reply EdSON MendeS January 10, 2020 at 5:08 am

    You scream and yet no one's listening… I wish people would talk more… https://youtu.be/Y3-xmzjkKbY

  • Reply Abbey Awesome101 January 16, 2020 at 4:41 am

    I was diagnosed with anxitey disorder and major deppression and I struggled with anxitey for a long time I was on an anti deppressionts for deppression and I would have panic attacks every hour on the dot then I went to my doctor for help about my anxitey attacks be hours every hour then I got my blood drawn and my doctor diganoised me with hypo theyroid ism and before my diganoised with hypotheyroidism I was upgraded a new anti deppressionts and gave me anxitey medince and it would help but not that much then I finally got diganoised with hypotheyroidism and I also struggled with insomnia because of anxitey disorder the reason I keep going on everyday is my family friends and I have my pets that are emotinal support and my dog helps me so much

  • Reply Vivi Underhay January 17, 2020 at 1:51 am

    I self harm. I have depression and pretty sure I have anxiety. My mom is a single mom of three kids, one autism. She knows I have depression and self harm, but we don’t have the money for good therapy. I’m not sure what to do, I feel ignored and I’m scared to talk to someone.

  • Reply Addie Meier January 17, 2020 at 2:04 am

    I have ADHD and anxiety. People tell me that I can control it and it's just a matter of control. ADHD and anxiety will eat you alive if you let them

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