Articles, Blog

Keep that Applause Going for Rodney Dangerfield and Bob Zany

August 23, 2019


– Dying on a plane, I said, no, I do not fear death. I look at death philosophically. Death to me, is like a Bob Hope Special, you know it’s coming, there’s nothing you can do to avoid it. (audience laughs) But I been, I was in Las Vegas, it’s supposed to be the glitter capital of the world. It’s, everything is money oriented. I went to church Easter Sunday morning to take communion, there was a two… – Oh, Bob Zany. Hey, it’s a small world, huh? Oh, Jamie Farr. I’m a big fan of yours, big fan. And I loved that show M*A*S*H, I love it. And Jamie, it’s good to see you back in men’s clothes again, huh? Hey, you mind if I join ya? – Do we have a choice? – Listen, Bob, I’m doing an HBO show, and I’d love you to be in it, ya know? – Hey, come on. We came here to watch Fred Willard. We’re not interested in your show. – So Tony says, “Are you crazy? “That wasn’t my wife, that was my priest.” (audience laughs) – Hey, I love ya baby, I love ya baby, I love ya. Come on, it’s gonna be
a really big show, huh? – Rodney, you’re getting
to be very annoying. – Alright, that’s it! You’re gonna have to leave our table! – Yeah, well who are you? – I’m Zany’s manager. – Yeah, I heard about you. You take stars and make unknowns out of them. – [Zany’s Manager] Hey,
come on, what are you… – Hey, hey, hey, what’s the problem out there? What’s the commotion? Turn on the house lights. Let’s see what’s going on. Holy cow, we have a celebrity table! Ladies and gentlemen, help me welcome one of my favorite actors from M*A*S*H, Jamie Farr! (audience cheers and applauds) Thank you for being here, Jamie. (audience cheers and applauds) That’s not all. Keep that applause going for Rodney Dangerfield. (crickets chirping) Yeah, I thought he was here. I heard there was a rumor
he was in the house. Welcome one of my
favorite comics, my hero, the funniest guy in the
business today, Bob Zany. (audience cheers and applauds) Bob Zany! Zany, Zany, Zany. (audience cheers and applauds) – [Fred And Audience]
Zany, Zany, Zany, Zany. – Let’s see if we can
get up here to say hello! Come on up here, Bob! (audience cheers and applauds) (audience drowns out voice) – This is the crowd, right here, whoo! (audience cheers and applauds) Lotta people. Lotta people ask me if Bob Zany is my real name. And I’ll be honest, it isn’t. My real name is Big Dick McGee. (audience laughs) Oh, you gotta love a mom who names you Big Dick, huh? That’s a woman with a vision. (chuckles) (audience laughs) Problem? (audience laughs) And, uh. (scattered laughter) Oh man, I love what women say. I recently just lost a lotta weight. I used to be really big, I don’t tell people how much I lost because they think it’s a joke, a setup for one, and it’s not. Well I lost 175 pounds. And uh, yeah. (audience cheers and applauds) I knew I was big. I knew it. I saw a bumper sticker, it said, “Lose weight now, ask me how.” So I asked the guy, he said, “Go on a diet, you fat pig.” (audience laughs) Thank you for laughing
at my emotional scar. (scattered laughter) I was big. I went to a fat farm and
they made it a ranch. (audience laughs) I mean we’re talking big, I had a talking scale, had a female voice. I got on it, she said, “Could I get on top?” (audience laughs) Monstrous, I had a cholesterol test, they found bacon. (audience laughs) Big chunks of it, baby. (audience laughs) So, all of those jokes
lead to this next one. I’m with this woman, this is a true story, she says, “Bob, you lose a hundred pounds, “I’ll fuck ya.” I said if I lost a hundred pounds I wouldn’t wanna fuck you. (audience laughs and applauds) It’s now or never, baby. (audience laughs) I was at Denny’s the other day. I ordered pigs in a blanket. They brought me a picture
of my parents in bed. (audience laughs and cheers) You could imagine my surprise, I thought I bought the negative. (audience laughs) Love my parents. Love my parents, they were the best growing up. No pressure with them for my future. They said, “Do what you want, “as long as you’re happy.” So I kicked ’em outta the house. (audience laughs) Believe me, I was happy. It was about time anyway. In their 50s, still living at home? (audience laughs) I mean get a job. Do something with your lives. I can’t carry your asses much more. (audience laughs) I’ll be honest with you guys, I didn’t have a father. Um, I was illegitimate. Yeah, I know, it’s hard to believe. I knew who he was, though. I’ll give him this much, he tried to be my dad. Every year, like clockwork, he’d take me to the Fathers and Bastards Picnic. (audience laughs) Funny man, too. Great sense of humor about being overweight as a kid, he’d take me in the backyard, throw me in the pool and yell, “Be free, Shamu.” (audience laughs) You know what I just saw on TV today, they brought it back,
the Sizzler commercial. You know the three ladies going to lunch. The one goes, “Hey, I don’t have a lotta time.” (whispering) Sizzler. (audience laughs) The other lady goes, “Hey, I don’t wanna spend a lotta money.” (whispering) Sizzler. It’s like if you say “Sizzler” that way, everything’s gonna work out in life. Hey I think I have a yeast infection. (whispering) Sizzler. (audience laughs) I haven’t gone to the bathroom in over a week. (whispering) Sizzler. (audience laughs) Did you hear they destroyed the race horse, Secretariat? (whispering) Sizzler. (audience laughs) I’ll have that all-you-can-eat hoofer and shrimp, baby. (audience laughs) You’re a fun group. You like doing fun things? (audience cheers) Fun to do and also good to do, you guys, is goof around on a job application. Have you ever done that, Sparky? (audience laughs) Oh, it is so simple, to goof around on a job application, the questions they ask, it’s so, like, “Are you hard of hearing?” I wrote, “What?” (audience laughs) “Have you ever been
convicted of a felony?” I would tell ’em, “Murder, twice. You don’t hire me, I’ll kill you, too.” (audience laughs) Under “Print Name”, I put “N-A-M-E”. (audience laughs) I knew you’d get that one. (audience laughs) “Name three character references.” I put “Manny, Moe, and Jack.” Three best friends I ever had. (audience laughs) There’s more. Under “Date”, I put “Small edible fruit”. (audience laughs and cheers) There’s another. “What position are you seeking?” (audience laughs and cheers) I put “Doggy style”. (audience laughs) But it continues. “Are you an American citizen?” I put, “si”, so I got the job. (audience laughs) I’m an air traffic controller. (audience laughs) I’m at the weirdest point
in my life right now. I’m at the point where I
don’t know what’s right or wrong sometimes. You ever get that way, Sparky? (audience laughs) Well see, I know what’s wrong. But my feeling is if it’s so wrong, who’s it gonna hurt, you know? Let me ask you if this is so wrong. When you wake up in the morning, and the cat’s licking your penis, (audience laughs) and you don’t push it away, (audience laughs) is that so wrong? (audience laughs) Hey, I didn’t provoke it. (audience laughs) I don’t wanna hurt
little Tabby’s feelings. (audience laughs) Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. (audience laughs) Here, daddy’s got ya a tender vittle. (audience laughs) Baby. I like being cool. I think James Bond, in the movies, is like the coolest man that ever lived. When it came to women, Sparky, if you wanted a woman, what do you have to do? What? All he had to do is go, Bond, James Bond. And they would be together. That is so impressive. So I gave this a try last night. I was at the El Torito, and, I know, I’m name dropping again, and, very attractive lady there. I couldn’t help myself. I had to go up to her, just went, Zany, Bob Zany. She said, “Off, fuck off.” (audience laughs and cheers) I’m Bob Zany, thank you. (audience cheers and applauds)

30 Comments

  • Reply David Singleton July 23, 2019 at 2:35 am

    Why did you remove Rodney's Cabana chat with Dixie Wetsworth?

  • Reply Crimson King July 23, 2019 at 2:37 am

    Rodney is hilarious.

  • Reply Demerrill Spencer July 23, 2019 at 2:43 am

    ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

  • Reply David Singleton July 23, 2019 at 2:45 am

    Funny guy

  • Reply Major blitz July 23, 2019 at 2:52 am

    Hey Rodney just yelled out, He wants his act back!

  • Reply Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe July 23, 2019 at 3:04 am

    Rodney's influence on comedians is obvious

  • Reply nickrich56 July 23, 2019 at 3:21 am

    Smokin' and swearing and some serious sick shit….. very Zany!

  • Reply Stuart Otis July 23, 2019 at 3:22 am

    Oh yeah real funny. Why don't you go ahead and yell out that you don't get any respect either and put on a red tie

  • Reply Too_legit _to_be fit July 23, 2019 at 3:35 am

    Rodney really didn't get no respect

  • Reply Dave from Maine July 23, 2019 at 4:15 am

    I forgot all about Bob Zany. I used to love that guy! Still do!

  • Reply waterandafter July 23, 2019 at 4:28 am

    I don't think Zany is his real last name…

  • Reply gotohell July 23, 2019 at 4:45 am

    Rodney is funny
    But Bob not so much

  • Reply Leo Getz July 23, 2019 at 6:16 am

    No respect i tell ya…

  • Reply I make house calls UKdoctor July 23, 2019 at 8:53 am

    Idiotic routine..Bob Zany? Wtf? Not funny at all. Get Rodney back on stage.

  • Reply Chris Fox July 23, 2019 at 10:27 am

    I see why there was a comedy crash in the 80's and 90's…that was awful.

  • Reply Rudolph Guarnacci July 23, 2019 at 12:12 pm

    This guy was great.

  • Reply Ry Guy July 23, 2019 at 1:48 pm

    He gets no respect ya know

  • Reply Larry Gilmore July 23, 2019 at 2:12 pm

    This shit head aint nothing funny bout him

  • Reply JBIRD NELSON July 23, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    ๐Ÿ˜’
    ๐Ÿ‘” No respect from the crickets…..

  • Reply donamick July 23, 2019 at 5:30 pm

    ๐Ÿค˜๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿค˜

  • Reply Recusant BilE July 23, 2019 at 11:16 pm

    "Don't forget to wipe your dirt."

  • Reply UltramindcontroL realzz July 24, 2019 at 6:46 pm

    What year is this 1991

  • Reply Carson B Wagner July 25, 2019 at 2:49 am

    I was 18 or 19, when this aired (in 1991, depending on when, in the year, of course… ). I LOVE stand-up, and Iโ€™d driven to see Bobcat Goldthwait, in New York, by that point in my life, among other trips to comedy shows, including Dana Carvey. I also love(d) Fred Willard, Martin Mull, Bob Nelson, Gary Shandling, Bob Saget, Chris Rock, Sam Kinison, Andy Kaufman, Steven Wright, Ellen DeGeneres, Foster Brooks, Paula Poundstone, and what Iโ€™d seen of Bill Hicks, from his HBO special โ€” among โ€œlesser knownโ€ comedians. The same was, of course, true about George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, Don Rickles, Lucille Ball, Jackie Gleason, Redd Foxx, Phyllis Diller, Steve Martin, Gilda Radner, Robin Williams, Johnny Carson, Milton Berle, George Burns, and certainly Rodney. There were many, many more…

    … yet, I have no fucking idea who โ€œBob Zanyโ€ is…

  • Reply Charles Green July 25, 2019 at 3:29 am

    OMG I remember being 11 years old in 91 and seeing this on HBO…havenโ€™t seen it in over 20 years… still hilarious after all these years… thanks for the post…good times and memories…

    โ€œZany…Bob Zanyโ€…she said โ€œOff, Fuck Offโ€โ€… ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

  • Reply sevenhornets July 25, 2019 at 4:12 am

    Never heard of this clown.

  • Reply Joe King July 25, 2019 at 2:26 pm

    Hey it's that old guy from Little Nicky!!
    I don't get no respect!

  • Reply SylentEcho July 27, 2019 at 9:18 am

    Thumbnail: I didn't know Gordon Ramsey did comedy.

  • Reply Ugly Fredo July 30, 2019 at 6:14 am

    Dude the pigs and the blanket one was perfect

  • Reply H0RD4K-SK3LET0R MUMM'R4-MEG4TR0N August 1, 2019 at 4:02 am

    ๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜บ๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น

  • Reply Ice Rink Diaries August 4, 2019 at 5:51 pm

    8:47 lol wtf, lol, no way, yes it is….please stop ur killin me ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

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