Articles, Blog

Jenna Dewan, Nick Offerman and Lilly Perform Sexy Halloween Rap

November 13, 2019


-You may or may not know this,
but I love rap music, mostly because rappers
can make anything sound sexy, which is why it’s time
for one of my favorite segments, “Ho Up, The Glow Up!” [ Cheers and applause ] I ask my fans to send me a topic
that’s incredibly non-sexy, and the challenge is to turn
that topic into a sexy rap. Are we ready to try this? -Oh, yeah.
-So ready. -Should we give it a try?
Alright, let’s do it. DJ Daniel, what’s our topic? -Alright, your first non-sexy
topic is Q-tips. -Oh.
-Oh! Q — there’s nothing sexier
than Q-tips, first of all. I feel like this is real easy.
-For sure. -How about I start this off,
then you can help me out, yeah? -Alright.
-Yeah, okay. -Alright, DJ Daniel,
drop that beat. -Whoo!
-Whoo! -Should I get my… -♪ Doctor tells you not to do
it, but you can’t hear a sound ♪ ♪ You stick it in that hole ♪ ♪ And you swirl it around ♪ ♪ It might take a minute,
so just try to relax ♪ ♪ But when you’re done you can
play with your balls of wax ♪ -Oh! Oh, shoot. -♪ Q-tips, yeah, Q-tips ♪ ♪ Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-tips ♪ -♪ Nothing like the gentle touch
of a good cotton swab ♪ ♪ You got two fuzzy heads that
make my lady parts throb ♪ ♪ Of all the things medical,
you are the best ♪ ♪ Get in my mouth right now
for my DNA test ♪ ♪ -Q-tips,
Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-tips ♪ ♪ Uh, Q-tips,
Q-Q-Q-Q-Q-tips ♪ -♪ Love to get my fingers
’round your thin, hard rod ♪ ♪ Cardboard or plastic,
they go inside my bod ♪ ♪ When I push you in so far
that you start to bend ♪ ♪ With 500 to a box,
the pleasure never ends ♪ -Yes! [ Cheers and applause ] -Pre-existing conditions. -Strep throat cultures, baby. -Q-tips! [ Cheers and applause ] -Nailed it. Nailed it! Should we do one more?
Should we do one more? Let’s do one more.
Let’s do one more. Since it’s Halloween, let’s make it
a holiday-themed one. What’s our non-sexy
Halloween topic, Daniel? -Alright, your non-sexy
Halloween topic is pumpkins. -Oh, girl.
-Ooh! Pumpkins. I feel like you have a really
good relationship with pumpkins, so I feel like
you should start this one. -Oh.
-Get up there, Nick. Come on! Drop that fire! [ Cheers and applause ] DJ Daniel, drop that beat. -You’re gorgeous. ♪ [Bleep] I’m a man with urges ♪ ♪ I’m a man with needs ♪ ♪ Gonna reach inside you,
pumpkin ♪ ♪ Damn, you’re so
full of seeds ♪ ♪ With your orange insides
and your little brown stump ♪ ♪ Should’ve known you’d be sexy
with a name like Pump ♪ -Whoo! Jenna, get ’em. Get ’em.
-Okay. -♪ Uh, pumpkins,
p-p-p-p-pumpkins ♪ -♪ Gonna lay you on the table ♪ ♪ Now I’m ready to carve ♪ ♪ Gonna push inside of you
with something long and hard ♪ ♪ I’m the best you’ve ever had ♪ ♪ Yeah, I know it’s the truth ♪ ♪ I can tell by how you smile
with your little square tooth ♪ -♪ Pumpkins,
p-p-p-p-pumpkins ♪ -Yeah. -♪ Yeah, pumpkins,
p-p-p-p-pumpkins ♪ -♪ Got my fingers
in your insides ♪ ♪ You’re so drippy and soft ♪ ♪ Roll on over here, babe ♪ ♪ And jack-o’-lantern me off ♪ ♪ You smell so good ♪ ♪ You’re making me cry ♪ ♪ Get inside my hot oven ♪ ♪ Wanna taste your sweet pie ♪ -♪ Pumpkins,
p-p-p-p-pumpkins ♪ ♪ P-Pumpkins,
p-p-p-p-pumpkins ♪ -Ohh! -Can’t wait for you
to ride on my front porch. -Aw, damn, girl, I’m putting
a candle in you tonight. -Pumpkins!
-Pumpkins! [ Cheers and applause ] That was amazing. Give it up for Jenna Dewan
and Nick Offerman.

100 Comments

  • Reply nalika wijesekara October 24, 2019 at 12:10 pm

    ilysm lillyyyyyyy!! ahhhh! i just cant !! u r such a role model to meee<33

  • Reply Oculus October 24, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    this is hilarious. I think she should have more games like this on the show.

  • Reply MM 127 October 24, 2019 at 12:11 pm

    Nick Offerman's straight face and delivery is killing me. LMAO

  • Reply Katherine Shylenka October 24, 2019 at 12:15 pm

    Lilly's rap on pumpkins – OH MY GOD

  • Reply Method Override October 24, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    I think Lilly’s body is on backwards

  • Reply Just Wiw October 24, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    The bessst ??????

  • Reply Just Wiw October 24, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    The rap is ???????

  • Reply Just Wiw October 24, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    Love the show ?????

  • Reply Just Wiw October 24, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    ???????????

  • Reply Just Wiw October 24, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    The bessst ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • Reply Just Wiw October 24, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    ❤❤❤?????????

  • Reply talkster rohan October 24, 2019 at 12:23 pm

    I think this was the next episode but they posted it in advance

  • Reply Mr. NoName October 24, 2019 at 12:32 pm

    Make. This. Segment. Permanent. I demand it from you Lilly.
    Lmfao??

  • Reply alexandra s October 24, 2019 at 12:33 pm

    Omg the DJ ? though it was not much lyrics, I really liked it!

  • Reply richa mani Tripathi October 24, 2019 at 12:43 pm

    I have said it before and I'll say it again.. the DJ ❤️❤️

  • Reply AMB October 24, 2019 at 12:56 pm

    Nick Offerman rapping with a straight face is amazinggggggIIII

  • Reply Amanda Fernandes October 24, 2019 at 1:01 pm

    I love Nick Offerman.

  • Reply SuperCheryl66 October 24, 2019 at 1:21 pm

    So creative, that was awesome!?

  • Reply Mabel Mojolaoluwa October 24, 2019 at 1:23 pm

    Nick Offerman

  • Reply Why you wanna know my name!? October 24, 2019 at 1:35 pm

    Finally really good content from this show! This segment is a keeper! (But please more lighting in the set, still too dark)

  • Reply Luckysingh Luckysingh October 24, 2019 at 1:38 pm

    Att

  • Reply Yastika Maharaj October 24, 2019 at 1:58 pm

    So no ones gonna talk about the tombstone with Pokémon go on it

  • Reply So apparently, you can change your name on Youtube October 24, 2019 at 2:02 pm

    Ich tret aufs gas spür die 500 ps….

    Who knows knows

  • Reply LostThoughts October 24, 2019 at 2:23 pm

    Jenna killed it

  • Reply Amiel Laxamana October 24, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    This rap is making me feel violated (ب_ب)

  • Reply IWantTo Believe October 24, 2019 at 3:23 pm

    Omg, Nick…???? This was awesome.

  • Reply Chaimaa Lichani October 24, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    ???????

  • Reply Chaimaa Lichani October 24, 2019 at 3:38 pm

    ❤❤❤❤❤❤

  • Reply PAVAN MK October 24, 2019 at 3:40 pm

    Don't tell me this was created right there and than ? !!!

  • Reply Arthur Dhillon October 24, 2019 at 3:56 pm

    Nice Lilly…. But you still have no Dilly….Billy….MILLY..JILLY….vanilli

  • Reply trojanqtie October 24, 2019 at 4:11 pm

    So they posting clips before the show airs now?

  • Reply Anna Margolina October 24, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    lmao I love this at first I didn't understand what they were rapping about

  • Reply Alina Bhojani October 24, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    Lilly is just too good at it ??

  • Reply Alyssa Cymbaluk October 24, 2019 at 4:35 pm

    LOVE THIS XD

  • Reply Anjana iyer October 24, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    Damnn toooo goooood

  • Reply B959695 October 24, 2019 at 4:51 pm

    Not funny at all

  • Reply Urmika Venkateshwaran October 24, 2019 at 5:19 pm

    2:58 Nick trying to copy Lilly hahaahahahahh

  • Reply Nomon Munir October 24, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    haha

  • Reply Christina Saunders October 24, 2019 at 5:24 pm

    That was awesome Lilly love u and scarbro ????

  • Reply Team Super Trinidad & Tobago October 24, 2019 at 5:29 pm

    Who knew cuetips could be so sexy

  • Reply Aryan Nishad October 24, 2019 at 5:52 pm

    This is sooo much fun????

  • Reply SuperCheryl66 October 24, 2019 at 7:04 pm

    I watched this way too many times!!! Lilly's moves at the end went perfect with the song!??

  • Reply Mallika Das October 24, 2019 at 7:11 pm

    Love love love love love ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • Reply mj October 24, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    ?????

  • Reply Gargi Shendre-Oturkar October 24, 2019 at 7:44 pm

    Nick Offerman rapping, this is it, Tom has taken over him. Damn, never thought this day would come. Hilarious.

  • Reply Robyn Betic October 24, 2019 at 7:51 pm

    This was wayyyy too good, I couldn’t stop laughing ?

  • Reply Lima Awad October 24, 2019 at 7:53 pm

    these are actually fire like damn, bops

  • Reply Lashell Davis October 24, 2019 at 7:54 pm

    Lilly u are so silly girl

  • Reply Rahul Jain October 24, 2019 at 7:56 pm

    Is it obligatory to have a black man play DJ

  • Reply Selaa October 24, 2019 at 8:04 pm

    Got my finger in your inside,
    your so drippy and soft
    Roll on over here babe
    And Jack-O-Lantern me off
    3:12 ??

  • Reply Sam Baten October 24, 2019 at 8:25 pm

    all fun especially when lilly is not talking

  • Reply Halima Abdi October 24, 2019 at 8:34 pm

    This might be the best thing ever

  • Reply bhill005 October 24, 2019 at 10:04 pm

    Lilly, I'm just…. LMFAO!!! I didn't know what to expect or how far you were all going to take those lyrics. But, this was hilarious, lol. Can't wait to see the full episode tonight 😀

  • Reply AliDu October 24, 2019 at 10:29 pm

    Look, there's just NO other talk show that does this. Yaaaaaassss!!!! LMFAO!!!

  • Reply Casandra Modika October 24, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    Loved this ??? , so funny . Come through Lolly Sonch??

  • Reply matt john October 24, 2019 at 10:49 pm

    put this unfunny bitch out of her career misery and cancel this trainwreck. one month in and peaked and died.

  • Reply matte black Is sexy. October 24, 2019 at 11:09 pm

    Lilly's turning me on with those dance moves ???

  • Reply Vibha Agarwal October 24, 2019 at 11:18 pm

    Nick will forever be loved as Ron from Parks and Rec ❤️

  • Reply Austin Full October 24, 2019 at 11:52 pm

    Why does this feel like it's a comedy central set in 2007

  • Reply SANAWAR MH October 25, 2019 at 12:25 am

    Loved this one

  • Reply Zulfikar Ali Nabi October 25, 2019 at 12:25 am

    Gosh this is so epic …bet she should do this every-day on her show till halloween… Go lilly

  • Reply Lily Zeller October 25, 2019 at 1:09 am

    This is amazing and I love it so much

  • Reply Mike Hunt H October 25, 2019 at 1:39 am

    Lily is an unfunny industry plant she’s an embarrassment to any female comedian

  • Reply The Gatlin Guys October 25, 2019 at 1:44 am

    This needs to be permanent.

  • Reply Abel Gonzales October 25, 2019 at 2:28 am

    Remember when Rap was actually considered edgy and scary to the general public?

  • Reply KINGKAVO1983 October 25, 2019 at 3:08 am

    you are not african american you tri hard …so cringe omg i am embarrassed for you ..stop acting like your african american coz you are not …just a very very fake person

  • Reply Lucy Forest October 25, 2019 at 3:42 am

    Damn I do not like pumpkin but Do now

  • Reply Nahla Aly October 25, 2019 at 3:48 am

    I'm here for Nick Offerman

  • Reply Nirupama Menon October 25, 2019 at 4:44 am

    God Lilly Singh is so goofy!!

  • Reply Achu :P October 25, 2019 at 5:52 am

    Why did this sound so dirty LOL

  • Reply Megha Singhania October 25, 2019 at 7:12 am

    Jenna Dewan is sooo hottt!!!

  • Reply Sirostheviros Testaverde October 25, 2019 at 7:36 am

    Any view or opinion that differs from Lilly “lame” sing she says is hateful . Your a talenless entitled clueless racist who believes she is above and better than everyone. With this attitude Lilly your heading downhill girl . I hope you get the realization you desperately need before your cancelled.

  • Reply Rake Steele October 25, 2019 at 7:38 am

    You aren't funny, you dumb twat.

  • Reply Allison Anne October 25, 2019 at 8:41 am

    Most women are not funny. The last great female comedian we had was Joan Rivers. Rivers was the first woman in history to get her own late night show. She achieved that with talent and hard work. Lilly was handed her job simply because of her gender, sexual orientation, and ethnicity. That’s it. No talent. No intelligence. Nothing. Yet, she believes she’s irrationally hated by the public. Incredible.

  • Reply Minority Justice October 25, 2019 at 10:01 am

    Ayeee that was the best ever lol

  • Reply Bangalore's HydroHome October 25, 2019 at 10:11 am

    Awesome game…need more of this

  • Reply V S October 25, 2019 at 11:22 am

    Lol this is hilarious! These should be turned into an actual rap songs! More creative episodes like this!!!

  • Reply Nina Star October 25, 2019 at 12:41 pm

    Well excuse me…pumpkins and q tips. I'll never look at them (pumpkins and q tips)the same again.???

  • Reply Hifza Atir October 25, 2019 at 1:29 pm

    Damn.. that was amazing… one love girl… ?

  • Reply Hifza Atir October 25, 2019 at 1:31 pm

    Only if I could like this video more thn once ????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????……..

  • Reply Ami Talati October 25, 2019 at 1:34 pm

    ?

  • Reply tijrus October 25, 2019 at 4:05 pm

    That was really good, except for Lilly's grindin..too much of it.

  • Reply Sreedevi October 25, 2019 at 7:16 pm

    Make this segment permanent!!!!! ????

  • Reply Moody Niessuh October 25, 2019 at 7:30 pm

    I'm uncomfortable ? is it hot in here or what?

  • Reply Nidhi Kamble October 25, 2019 at 7:59 pm

    Pumpkins, puh puh puh PUHMPKINS?

  • Reply Ashmitha Anil October 26, 2019 at 5:30 am

    Love thisss

  • Reply dayna disha malani October 27, 2019 at 12:10 am

    this was so funny!

  • Reply sunnykimmy October 27, 2019 at 7:17 pm

    I'm-I, listen, I was not prepared for that. I'm still laughing.

  • Reply FLA-TEXAN October 28, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    The same ten accounts seem to be here posting the same positive comments daily usually emojis and “Yasssss so relatable”

    Then it has 155 upvotes

  • Reply Amina 92 October 29, 2019 at 3:04 pm

    This is soooo good lmaoo!????????

  • Reply باسمة نوري October 30, 2019 at 7:47 am

    WhastApp 00212679620248
    من فـــــضل الله عليه الحمــدالله رب الــعالمين , هناك حلول لمن يعانون من صغر حجم الذكر الخاص بهم،الفضل بيد الله يؤتيـــه من يشاء الــطب الحديث توصـلنا لعلاج القذف السريع و عـــلاج ضـعف الإنـتصاب تواصل معانا اعبر الوتساب ?

  • Reply damien wee October 30, 2019 at 1:27 pm

    HOLY CRAP ?

  • Reply Mary Emma October 31, 2019 at 9:47 pm

    DJ Daniel steals this segment

  • Reply EsotericOccultist November 1, 2019 at 12:37 am

    So obvious they're reading off a teleprompter or cue cards.

  • Reply Joseph Z November 2, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    This skit is almost as funny as a dumb feminist.

  • Reply Justme Yram November 2, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    Her show is so cringe ????

  • Reply Not My real name November 2, 2019 at 8:59 pm

    Boring

  • Reply Clara's Universe November 3, 2019 at 4:23 pm

    MY VIRGIN BRAIN??????

  • Reply Vidya Krishnan November 5, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    This was an awesome segment

  • Reply Ykhraam November 6, 2019 at 3:45 pm

    Lol ?

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