Articles, Blog

INSANE VIRAL FLASH MOB

December 8, 2019


It’s so nippy! i don’t even know if you can see me because it’s extremely dark out, it’s about 5 am. Very early, very dark. So I’ll kind of talk more when it’s a little bit brighter out so that you can see my face, even though you probably don’t want to see my face. I’ll see you when it’s a little bit brighter outside okay. but just know that I’m up this early, like just give me some credit for being up this early. Write this down in the history books that I am up this early, probably won’t ever happen again, but now that i got my street cred, I’ll see you when it’s light outside okay. Yo, sorry for the sh***y a** lighting it’s super red and weird as f*ck. I haven’t really told you what I’m doing yet so let me tell you that now. So I’m in San Francisco today, early in the morning, apparently, because I forced my father to do a sunrise photo shoot with me, because I’m pushy and I like having instagram photos to post. We’re meeting at Philz. Gonna take you along with me today VLOG LIFE Okay, well we’re gonna turn left now so, I mean right, okay see this is why I’m stupid F*ck my life okay, well anyways. Sorry about that guys a little bit of technical difficulties. Holy sh*t people hate me. Oh my god I don’t know where I am. I’M SO LOST. F*CK! You don’t even know what we’re doing yet and I’m already lost. Oh my goodness gracious, it’s going to be lit and it is lit every single day, bro. I haven’t had a coffee yet today so I’m really glad that we’re meeting at Philz this morning, and I also haven’t been to this Philz in this area before. I usually only go to the Philz near where I live so, always like to try new things. But first I have to get to Philz that’s the thing, and so I’m close but you know what? You’re never, but still just a little bit. Just *snort* a little bit confused. I will see you when I get there. I’m excited to take some pictures because I have kind of a fun outfit on. I’ll give you a quick little OOTD. My pants are from Brandy. My shirt is thrifted. My jacket is from Brandy. My hat is from Forever 21. Glasses are from Amazon, these were literally my Napoleon Dynamite glasses for my costume so that’s kind of funny. I was really sad because on the way here *GPS: In a quarter mile, turn left onto Folsom Street* Turn left or right? Okay, this is why my life is hard. Sorry guys you’re just gonna have to stay down there for a second. I really wish I could prop my phone up. So I just have to hold it like this like a freaking weenie hut junior and it frickin sucks. *GPS: Destination is on your left* Okay but now I have to f*cking find parking and I have no clue where to go to for that. I have no clue, where to find parking. Okay just wish me luck I’ll see you when I’m done with all this shit. Okay update. After lots of hard work. Dedication. Grind. And just overall, just really putting all matters aside and just prioritizing finding a parking spot, I found a parking spot. We found a parking spot. Actually– there’s my dad. He has his camera because I’m forcing him to take photos with me. That’s what it’s like to be related to me. It was so hard to find parking and it’s so busy, and people hate me. People don’t like me on the roads People are not the biggest fan of me. Maybe it’s because I drive like a grandma I don’t know up for debate. But this is really off topic, but I ate pasta last night before I went to bed, I literally ate pasta at like 12 a.m. and then I woke up this morning and I’m still full from eating pasta and I hate that. I hate that, I’m never gonna eat that late at night again. Just feeling a little bit farty from the pasta. I’m gonna cut that out, that was gross. So um it’s not easy to say this, but we’re kind of out here boy *giggles* We in these streets you feel me? We out here we in these streets you feel? I don’t think I can say that. See this is why I like having my dad with me because I’m not like, filming, from like a double chin angle. He can film for me at this nice angle. He could have held the door for me. I love cocaine. *giggles* She is beauty. She is grace. *giggles* She is Miss *giggles* She is Miss United *giggles* No. Let me finish. She is beauty. She is grace. She is Miss United– United States. They’re playing Beyoncé in here and I am uncomfortable. She is the queen and I just don’t even feel like i deserve to be in her presence. Do you know what I mean? All right, I just took a fat sh*t. Now let’s go take some pictures. It’s where I live, it’s my lifestyle. I don’t know. This is just my lifestyle. Crossing streets, being in these streets, I don’t know keeping everyone on their toes, just my lifestyle. Some people they might hate ya. Others they might love ya. You just can’t win around here alright and that’s it. I’m just feeling so much like me now. I had my coffee. I took a sh*t. I am at my absolute best right now! I’m just feeling alive as f*ck. I went to bed at 1:00 a.m. woke up at 4:30 or something or 4:45? I don’t know. Slept for like 4 hours no like three and a half hours. But I’m feeling woke as f*ck. I’m feeling pretty woke too. Woke and broke. ME TOO! Okay I just farted. But you couldn’t hear it. Sorry I know You, guys, want me to start farting on camera but that one wasn’t loud enough, oh my, god All y’all must come to
San francisco to look at this yeah to look at the golden gate you’re sleeping on the bay bridge because no one out here looking at the bay bridge everybody out here looking at the golden good because everybody’s like, nope, we respect the bay bridge I mean, I’d say the pictures are going pretty well i kind of feel like i’ve to shit again You know that’s kind of what caffeine will Do to you but besides that, would be really great i say we’re heading to the ferry building, what favor ahead the ferry, okay? Well, my dad’s making me tell you guys that we’re heading to the ferry building. it’s nice and foggy out which is my favorite kind of weather i don’t personally like When it’s sunny because i am a, sad person and so today’s foggy, and i’m just really in my element i don’t know Where are we going? Oh yeah, we’re, gonna the ferry building because, my, dad’s making me tell you that because he likes when i include Context and setting in my vlogs Now it’s time for a story About the ferry building. i used to work down here and i used to deliver For dhl i used to go into the ferry building everyday And the place was a virtual dump. no i can’t tell it’s an inappropriate story, sorry kids Wha- Wait, why, hey, you can’t just do that! I used to use the restroom in there and all over the walls like they Would write with magic, markers like they were looking for dates. Somebody, was like if you’re interested be here in this bathroom stall at this particular time on this particular day and I looked at my watch and i was like Emma: “I’m here!” oh, I gotta get outta here it smells like Philly cheese-steak i don’t even know what that smells like i’ve never eaten it Quick little disclaimer to all my gluten-free’s out there. Hope that imagery didn’t offend you. i try not to eat gluten except for that i eat bagels a lot. it’s hard for me to control myself around bagels. la cosina! see, i can speak Spanish. i don’t know why People think that i’m illiterate and that my vocabulary is small… i’m very smart Look out! Okay, i’m sorry i’m not trying to be mean or whatever but that fog looks pretty as heck! i’m trying to say less bad words. i cuss a lot in these vlogs Hey, guys! looks good to me. So, my, dad wants me to stand on this for some photos. this is the peak of my athletic performance. Look at this! Emma’s Dad: Oh! It wobbles. oh, okay Should I still try to stand on it? Emma’s Dad:i don’t know it’s like- I really don’t wanna die No, I can do it Oh! This is bad for me! that one’s the most… well then this one’s wet on top You know i’m not trying to risk my life for a frickin. picture normally i would but i just like honestly if i’m gonna fall and not die– and never mind oh That my friends, yeah that’s Nutcracker worthy i’m telling you wax lon quaking a little bit not trying to offend anybody call, me the black pigeon bitch who the fu Cool your jets, buddy! i’m just gonna give you guys A little history lesson right now it’s gonna be pretty interesting so a, new law Has just been passed and it is in place right here it’s called the dolan law it’s obviously a Big deal to examine our trust’s it, well let me tell you a little bit About it so if you are between the ages 12 and 20 You have to be subscribed to the dolan twins and you have to like all their photos and mentally you Also have to be just a little bit in love with Them or else you’re going to jail sis. is that stupid? i’m tired, i’m wrecked it’s like 9 a.m. No it’s like 8 am its like 8 am and we’re gonna go into another frickin Philz round 2 i’m not proud of it now we’re gonna download the photos onto my computer hopefully they turned out good and if they didn’t, i’m gonna sue my dad for wasting my time You can’t sue me! all right alright, back in the car, i’ve calmed down a little bit i know i was quite high-energy earlier but i feel the exact opposite right now it’s literally 9:44 it is so early in the day I literally still have the whole day ahead of me i love that about early-morning days i have like a, huge issue with like running out of time next thing i know it’s like midnight and i haven’t and i still have shit to do yeah i had A really, good, day with, my father and i’m gonna go home now and i feel like i haven’t really talked to you guys in a While so i decided on the way home i would just kind of talk to you, guys about What i was thinking about sending the city for a little bit hanging out Maybe doing a little bit of shopping but i have shit to do i have a video to edit and i have shit to do I might even go to Philz near where i live and like edit today, which would be kind of overkill. not overkill but Like i’ve already been to Philz twice today, like, imagine me going to Philz for the third time… i think i’d lose my brain

7 Comments

  • Reply Natalie Fletcher November 18, 2019 at 7:06 am

    WAIT HER VOICE IS SO UN-RASPY IT SOUNDS SO DIFFERENT

  • Reply E F November 19, 2019 at 4:18 am

    Peep the Paul McCartney

  • Reply danica kate November 21, 2019 at 12:19 am

    congrats to emma for being up that early, your welcome

  • Reply Arshad Salam Butt November 21, 2019 at 4:33 pm

    8:52

  • Reply Paula Titus December 6, 2019 at 7:13 am

    THIS IS YOUR BEST VIDEO

  • Reply Famida Malang December 6, 2019 at 3:35 pm

    Actually you're hair is better looking at you more than you're hair now

  • Reply freddy green December 7, 2019 at 5:26 pm

    0:20 happens to often it’s too cold

  • Reply bruce838 December 7, 2019 at 6:24 pm

    Classic vlog ?

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