Articles, Blog

Illness and Loss of Self

March 11, 2020

Hi everyone. I want to talk to you about
my hearing loss – how this appeared about two years ago and how drastically
it affected me. So, I’m actually wearing hearing aids right now. They’re hard to
see, even if I pull my hair back and move close… there’s a little wire here and itty
bitty transmitter that’s helping me hear. But, I was so stunned when I got the
results back from my hearing test that I had officially lost my hearing in both
ears… and it wasn’t about losing my hearing, it was because of the fear of
“What else is gonna come? What else am I gonna lose? If this happened, what more am
I gonna lose? What more can I lose?” and that put me in a state of panic
and hopelessness I would say. I was forced to look at the relationship I had
with my identity; I thought that I was all these different roles, and “Who am I
if I can’t even hear?” It was an eye-opening experience, it forced me to
dig deep and imagine myself losing all abilities. What would I be then? Who would
I be? and I arrived at the conclusion that there are some things that can never be
taken away: I will always be someone with a huge heart, who genuinely cares and
wants to help other people. I will always be curious and intrigued by the world
around me and just thirsty for knowledge and understanding.
I will always be somebody who tries to do the best that they can with what
they’ve got, with what life has given them… and so long as I’m breathing, and
I’m still on this planet, I am a force. I am a force of nature and nothing can
take that away. If you enjoyed my story hit the subscribe button it helps me
out so much and keeps you updated every time I share a new video with you.
Alright – see you next time.

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