– Yeah, totally holding
in a fart right now. – I don’t remember what you look like? – I am pretending to be busy, but I am literally Instagram stalking you. – Hi! You don’t edit your photos. – You do. – [Waitress] Doing my job. – Oh, um, ordering something
that makes me sound feminine, yet, strong. – Um, ordering something
I memorized years ago to make a good first impression. Call back to a conversation we had online. – Oh, quick comment, to
let you know I’m on board. – Standard question about your life. – Generic answer, trying to hide my crazy. A thing that worked with other guys. – Things that worked with other girls. – Oh, thing that worked with other guys. – Thing that some girls actually like. Controversial joke to test the waters. – Negative reaction. Shutting this down. – Being nice to the wait staff. – Not noted. – Awkward silence. Talking about the menu… – To avoid silence… – or ongoing conversations… – about our actual lives.
– about our actual lives. – That’s what I was going to say. (laughter) – Hey, I’m going to take the
biggest poop I possibly can and tell you it was a pee. – I’m going to text all my friends and let them know this
could be going better. – Lie about how long that line was. – Actually checking myself
in the reverse camera. – Hey, a joke at my own expense. – Teasing with humor. – Self parodying with humor. – I am touching you right now to let you know that
this is back on track. Oh, geez… – Trying to be valiant. – I am mortified, but I’m
playing it off as adorkable! – Realizing I am touching your leg and… – sexual joke.
– sexual joke. – Different sexual joke. – Trying to keep this energy going. Letting my guard down. Comfortable silence. – Sexual silence. – Okay. A reference to how much
food is still on my plate. – A reference to how much
food is still on my plate. – [Both speakers] Because we
are not comfortable eating in front of each other yet. – Showing my protector quality, and financial stability. – Accepting this general because it benefits me. Texting my friends to let
them know that I like you. – Thinking about our future? – Yeah. (farts) (farts)