Articles, Blog

How To Survive An Epidemic – Coronavirus Included

February 8, 2020


So you want to survive an epidemic, it could be any epidemy, you know, it could be, I don’t know, coronavirus, It could be zombies, it could be any kind of epidemic. You want to survive, you want to be like the last human to be alive, and to be able to tell, well no one because everyone’s dead, but to be able to know yourself that you are alive. So first thing, first thing ever, ever, if you want survive an epidemic, you need to be calm, you don’t want to lose control. So don’t lose control, you need to breathe, breathe, breathe. And you just keep breathing, you know, because you cannot lose control, you need to be in power of yourself. Empowering is like the word before everything goes down. You need to be empowered, be empowered and don’t lose control. So to survive an epidemic, what you would do, first thing, you need to buy a lot of food. You go to supermarket and you buy a lot of stuff, you buy a lot of stuff, you full your car. You come back to your home, you drop everything, you go back and you buy everything, burn all your money, you need to survive and now it’s food, food. You need to buy can stuff, you need to buy rice, you need to buy beans, you need to buy fish, you need to buy cans, cans, a lot of cans. So, keep, keep, keep, buying cans and store food, you don’t want to go out. Rule number two is about going out. You don’t want to go out, but if you have to go out, well, then you need to take some precautions. The first one is use those masks, those weird masks and you might think: “oh I don’t want to use those masks, it’s weird. It’s not fashionable” I understand you, because I don’t think it’s fashionable too, so what do you do? Well, you don’t use them because you want to be fashion, everyone’s dying, but you want to be fashion. It’s totally fine. Totally fine. I agree with you. So what do you do? Well you need to don’t speak. You go outside and people talk to you, if they are kind of human, not zombies yet, and they will say good morning. Don’t open your mouth. The virus can go inside. You could answer “good mooor” and the virus could come inside, and it will.. it will infect you. So do not speak. People will say good morning and what do you say? Hmmmm. You just do something, you know, do some weird thing, people will think: “oh, this person is like mentally retarded”. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter, because you will be the one to survive, and they will die because they spoke. So this is the thing. The third thing to survive, the third rule. Again, keep calm all the time, keep freaking calm, ok? Third rule, you need to block the windows. Block the windows and block the doors. It’s like movies. What do you think when you see the movies of zombies? They burst through the windows, they come and jump, and they make a lot of mess, and they come inside and then kill you. They want your meat. They want your meat and you don’t want to give them your meat. It’s your meat, not their meat, you know, so you want to protect your meat, protect your meat all the time, okay? So you do this. You need to protect the windows, so you block the winds with a lot of wood and a lot of stuff, you block the doors and you can put your freezer on the front of the door, they will burst and they will not be able to open, and that’s it. That’s one of the rules, protect your windows and your doors. And rule number four, don’t make a lot of noise and don’t stink, because zombies are attracted by what? Smell and noise. The smell is pretty obvious, you take showers and you use a lot of perfume, and deodorant and you should be fine. Just don’t stink because they will come and they will come for you. And about the noise, well you don’t make a lot of noise, you know, You don’t do like I just did, yeling like an imbecile, you don’t, you need to be smart. You need to think. So whisper, whisper, you should crawl at your home and use socks, like that big thick socks, you don’t make footstep noise, you know. And if you do all of this, and if you keep freaking calm, you should be able to survive an epidemic of zombies. Coronavirus. Whatever virus, and bacteria, and whatever. I’m here and it’s been like a 136 days, and I am alive. I’m here. Outside, I don’t know. I don’t know, but I’m here, I’m safe, I’m safe. I hope you liked this video. Being an actor Brazil is quite challenging financially speaking, so my goal right now is to raise this channel to a 1000 subscribers. If I can earn any money through YouTube, it would help me quite a bit. I don’t know 30 bucks/month would change my life. So if you want to support me, please subscribe the channel, it’s free and thank you!

1 Comment

  • Reply Marissa L. February 6, 2020 at 1:27 am

    I love that you said you need to remain calm and yet you’re speaking at full speed! Great channel, good content!

  • Leave a Reply