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How to Fake Being Sick

October 10, 2019


How to Fake Being Sick. Pulling a Ferris Bueller is easier than you
think—if you plan ahead. You will need A notebook to record dates and
excuses A somewhat gullible parent Acting skills Corn flakes and hot liquids. Step 1. Commit this list to memory: a fever of 100
degrees or more, vomiting, diarrhea, earache, and sore throat. Doctors say these are valid reasons to miss
school, so what parent would disagree? Step 2. Keep a log of dates and excuses so you can
prevent patterns from developing. Never brag about missing days over the phone,
e-mail or IM. You never know when your communications might
be intercepted by an adult. Step 3. Become skilled at faking the onset of symptoms. Digestive ailments generally occur suddenly,
while other maladies begin presenting themselves the night before. Lay the necessary groundwork—at dinner,
mention how scratchy your throat is and don’t eat a thing, especially dessert! Step 4. If necessary, pull out the big guns. Broken cornflakes mixed with a little water
make an excellent stand-in for vomit. Step 5. If your parents demand further proof, drink
hot liquids before taking your temperature to produce a false reading. Step 6. Congratulations! Your mom ordered you to stay home. When you sneak out, make sure you’re back
before anyone notices you’re missing. Did you know An estimated 150,000 young people,
usually in their late teens or early twenties, are diagnosed with infectious mononucleosis
each year.

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