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How Chronic Illness Impacts My Future Motherhood (5/14/17)

December 18, 2019


Chronic illness can definitely shape the way people become mothers But it can still be done In beautiful ways Good Sunday morning everyone. It is Mother’s Day here in the United States And I wanted to touch on 3 areas within that context One: Happy Mothers Day to all the mothers out there: The mothers to be, the mothers of angel children… Happy Mother’s Day and know that your love is appreciated on all days of the year, not just this one. Two: for whatever reason if Mother’s Day is difficult For you know that I’m thinking of you sending you Love sending you prayers Letting you know that you’re not alone, Mother’s Day is difficult For lots of people, so I am thinking of you with all my heart and 3, my chronic illnesses have shaped greatly, my ability to be a mother one day and I’ll explain that more. At 20 years old I found out that I can’t have children of my own. Physically I can but it is very unlikely that both myself and the child would survive the pregnancy And labor and delivery So I’ve been very strongly advised to not have children And, um, yea, that was really hard news to get And when we do live streams people often ask Judd and I Are you having kids? And I do not mind answering that question at all I think it’s an aspect of my chronic illnesses at least That I want to share that yes my chronic illnesses Have affected my ability to have kids It is a big deal but I lose my cheery disposition When I answer it because it’s a sensitve subject It was really hard, um learning that news It’s not all bad cause Judd and I have always Planned to adopt at least one of our children into our family and now We’re gonna adopt all children into our family We’re not ready for kids what so ever That’s years and years and years away but When we are ready to adopt all we know is we’re gonna adopt within the U.S Sorry we don’t know anymore specifics, but that’s it And we want, probably 2 kids That’s all we know, um we’re good with Harlow right now but Chronic illness can shape how families come together I cannot have any of my own. Oh it’s just Its hard. Was really hard coming to terms with that and I think I’m still kind of battling coming to terms with it Cause I only learned this just under a year ago At um Mayo Clinic, so It’s ok cause we can still build a family through adoption Adoption is a wonderful thing and there’s many other ways to build a family too So those are the 3 things that I wanted to cover Quickly on this Mother’s Day morning with y’all Happy Mother’s Day, if this day is hard for y’all I am thinking of you And, chronic illness can definitely shape the way people become mothers But it can still be done in beautiful ways Alright Harlow provide us with cuteness after all that serious talk Ok! Both of your ears flipped back that was cute Harlow gets her breakfast, and I get mine Anne’s awake. Anne: Good morning! Jacque: Morning, happy Mother’s Day. Anne: Well thank you Jaquie: alright Anne: happy to be here Jaquie: awesome And I am about to hook up to my infusion I am successfully hooked up to my infusion and Anne just left To go pick up my dad from the nearby hotel They’re coming back here, we’re going to hang for a little bit Judd still needs to wake up And then. (Beeping) something up with my pump oh my goodness Well I have never gotten that code before Huh, I just restarted it and it running fine, alrighty That was weird The tubing wasn’t even kinked or knotted or anything Anyways, the pump kinda has a mind of its own Sometimes, so after we hang here a bit we’re going to go out to eat for brunch/lunch Actually feeling a little nervous about going out to eat seeing how the last time I ate out went terribly so I won’t push myself, I won’t eat if I don’t think I can eat, so It’ll go ok I’m sure Last minute Mother day card While his mom is out getting my dad. Judd: perfect planning right? Hi dad! He has arrived. Happy Mother’s Day mr. mom (Laughs) My goodness Harlow loves my dad (Ineligible) We made it into Judd’s truck! We can all comfortably fit in here And my car has no brakes don’t worry it’s getting prepared tomorrow We’re just getting the brakes replaced. ok so Leaving the house is always such a circus when I have to leave, especially on Infusion days, I got to remember my 2nd infusion bag, my infusion gear Harlow’s gear, harlow’s pack. My emergency meds Pill pack, like..inhaler, just So many things, but we eventually made it out the door Happy Mothers Day I love you hope your having a good day Your gonna come down, not this next week but the one after, right? Yes, I’m excited to see you We have found a restaurant Judd: It’s a great restaurant too Jaquie: the view I’m wearing headphones due to my sensory processing disorder cause its kind of loud and obnoxious in here. So these Help me stay centered and focused and usually I can’t take and outdoor restaurants because the heat, but It’s breezy in here, I’m actually cold So I’ll take it, that’s awesome Harlow! Your being such a good dog! Head Down, put your head down. Good girl! (Ineligible) Judd: what? Anne: thank you. Jaquie: do you like it? Judd: Awe, she’s crying Jaquie: she’s not crying Judd: She is Well there food smells super good, can I have some of your fries if I feel up to it? Judd: yes, you can have some of my fries Jaquie: I don’t know if I can handle it but I’ll see It’s good right? Judd: really good We made it back home, our parents have gone back to Orlando That’s where they live, it was nice seeing them I enjoyed the company at lunch but It was honestly, a bit much for me, it was tiring I managed to eat one of Judd’s fries It was a big French fry so that’s something And, um I’ve had half of my ensure I’m trying to focus on the positive fact that I’m eating at least a Few small bites and keeping it down, in all honesty Judd: not enough. Jaquie: yea, how many calories would you say I had? Judd: probably 500 in the last 3 days I’m really feeling the effects of..the lack of nutrition Just. It’s not good. Judd suggested I call my doctor Monday And see if she will prescribe me reglan again, I had it in the past We stopped it because of the risk of um, Side effects, like permanent twitching and muscle trimmers, neurological side effects But, Judd: that’s all better than death Better than not eating Abuse what I think she’s gonna do is tell me try reglan again Or another medication so I’d like to try.. Judd: beats getting a feeding tube Yea. Judd: it’s been like a solid week since you’ve had like an actual meal and kept it down Cause I eat and can’t keep it down. IV anti nausea meds do help, but I only have 5 zofrans left, from when Insurance was approving that. And I don’t have my new anti nausea meds, but Judd: we could pay out of pocket for the Zofran, Jaquie: its expensive so Judd: but I think that’s a bullet we are willing to bite I want to wait and see what my doctor says on Wednesday though So I’d like her to, like, send to my pharmacy the medication she’d probably want to try first Monday. So I can try it Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. And see her Wednesday afternoon and she can see how it’s worked So it won’t waste any time You know, I’m just ready for a better treatment plan I think we both are. Judd: yea Judd: in other news my truck is running AMAZING 16 years old and still going strong Jaquie: yea we took the truck today..it was loud. Judd: I love that thang I actually have headphones to help with my sensory processing disorder when his truck gets too loud for me Oh yea I knocked out, ended up sleeping all the way back home Was exhausted, still am Hey Harlow I’m really exhausted so can you help me out? Yea? No, no you have to go that way Harlow get the blanket Get the blanket, Good girl! Get it She’s moving kind of slow I think she was taking a nap and I woke her up Harlow! (Laughs) get the blanket Here, your stepping on it (Laughs) good girl, thank you Harlow! Judd: Hippo! Judd: what do you want? Jaquie : you want love

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