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Curb Your Therapists! Ross Grossman, LMFT–REBT/CBT approach to mental illness and personal growth.

February 18, 2020

Hey guys welcome back to what we’re now calling the rational animal and this is a video blog or vlog about staying rational in an often irrational world Today and in a lot of subsequent episodes we’re going to be talking about How media portrays Psychotherapy, and we’re going to be talking about how people respond to psychotherapy during this particular video, which is gonna focus on Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm and I’d like to Subtitle this episode Curb Your Therapists Let’s take a peek in now Larry David in psychotherapy with a somewhat less than ideal therapists. Let’s check it out Again, let’s let’s focus on on the next stage. Well, here’s the thing. I asked her to dinner and a movie. Depending on the starting time, sometimes it works how you go to dinner a movie Sometimes it started out dinner after but we saw you have something to talk about. Movie–dinner. That’s not let’s not even waste time talking about it. Movie- dinner So you take her to the movie.. I’ll be do the movie. Just reach over grab her hand And tenderly tell her I love you Really? Whisper that. I love you. Okay at that point. She’s feeling vulnerable. and then at dinner That’s when you have to up the stakes that’s what you have to tell her you want her to move back in with you and she has until Monday to decide or…Phhht! That’s it. It works. That’s all I can say. Wow Okay, move number one–huge mistake on the part of the therapist. Should a therapist give an ultimatum or ask a patient to give an ultimatum? To a lover friend spouse and then threaten to end the relationship completely? In this case. Larry is trying to reconnect with his now separated wife I can’t begin to say how flabbergasted I am by such a foolish intervention by the therapist. Let’s listen to what else he has to say here She might not like it at first but his one thing she won’t be able to say–the guy who just said that is a pussy. No one likes a pussy. What you’re getting a little pussy from me? Not an amount that is not manageable Okay, should a therapist attack or do character assassination? Because that’s what this is! Not therapeutic language. Not anything that I would ever say to a client If I were going to tell a client that he was his behavior was ineffective I would not refer to someone’s character or state of being some sort of global assessment And essentially this is name-calling. That’s what this therapist just did and It’s a mistake. Let’s keep going. That’s why we have to say Okay Well, I got to say being a buster killer wasn’t my problem maybe with her it was more of the fact that I was selfish and kind of thoughtless Oh We have to stop unfortunately, he stated we’re out of time and So he didn’t get that information Which is going to have devastating consequences, let’s watch I want you to move back in with me. You have till Monday to this day One day than they are presented You’re giving me an ultimatum what enough Okay, so Hey, Joe Cheryl therapist told me to say that He gave me McElroy I was actually believing you don’t believe it It was all true except for the 10th deadline pause. The therapist told me to say that You leave my life you ruined my life, okay Give her an ultimatum Whoa, what the fuck was that? I was this close. Sorry your eyes closed. You’re angry She’s gone it’s Let’s see how other people react to this therapist You’re a Borah, how could you suggest such a thing? It’s not an exact science No, it is not I mean that is unbelievable Seri thing about it, is that she Doesn’t make a move now in our life Unless her therapist tells her But the therapist doesn’t know anything about me. I’m not even I’m not represented there. No, you’re not if the therapist knew me Okay, if the therapist thought I was a terrific guy there’d be a counter-argument to her Okay. Now Larry has a really reasonable point here and that is Does the therapist have a full picture of the relationship does the therapist have any idea? What Larry’s perspective is and often as a as a couples therapist? I do get one person coming in complaining Dramatically about their partner. It would be very easy to fall into the Trap of believing that everything my patient believes everything my patient thinks Is accurate great approach is to ask a patient if your partner were here and you weren’t and your partner was sitting on this couch How would they be describing you and the problem? How would they be telling me about their problems? How would they? Perceive you and that sometimes will elicit other aspects of the relationship that the client hasn’t been considering But Larry takes it one step further. Let’s see how that works out. Okay that’s Good. What do you do? What is this? You’ll take a rapist with that thing. I know you don’t need that No, they don’t know one word put the hood up Yeah, what Okay, dude, do what you have to do Mistake number god knows what she is now falling in love with Larry. Well this brings up the question should a therapist start a relationship with This spouse or lover or partner of their patient? The answer is a resounding. No, ethically legally It’s a mess. This therapist is ignoring that she is hopeful that they could have a relationship Larry in order to get out of this is claiming early Alzheimer’s Check it out You’re the first person I’ve told I haven’t told anybody yeah the only one who knows So this is just the very earliest It’s not early. I’m sort of halfway between early and middle. What’s that call? I don’t know. There’s a Maybe I have a quarter. I Have to confess something after we met and connected I Was hoping that you know, maybe there was some kind of future three to five years of the Festival Listen you helped me the other day and I want to help you I forgot your name You must go back with your wife hearing this news you you must go back on why yes, I know but what can you do Never know Now in the meantime Larry’s therapist has gotten out of prison and His life is in shambles, and he well well, let me show you what’s going to happen here Cuz I a life I just need someone to speak to about it. You guys I can’t work. I can’t sleep You come highly recommended Why don’t you start from the beginning well one of my clients is this old guy The next question is what is his therapist, which is Cheryl’s therapist. What is she going to do with the information? He’s going to reveal about This whole scheme. Let’s find out. I Want to move back in with me after Monday did you say okay? Hello hi, dr. Slavin And I think we can reliably predict That this is the end again of their relationship what’s implied here? Is that the therapist has essentially taken the story of her other patient about Larry and Called up Cheryl and told her Exactly what Larry did now this brings up a whole bunch of questions Did she give consent from this patient to tell? To tell Cheryl what Larry did did she get consent from her own patient? secondly Was it ethical for the therapist the male therapist now in therapy to tell? This other person even in his own personal therapy to tell this other person about his patient Larry David Brings up a whole slew of issues all of which these therapists have handled very poorly Don’t let this I don’t want this to scare you out of therapy. This is a comedy and Ideally therapists don’t make any of these errors Have some therapists in the history of therapy made these errors Yes some have I don’t know if any of them a mugged another therapist overall. I want you to be aware of these issues certainly be aware that most therapists are ethical legal and Are doing things appropriately for their patients. I hope this video has been educational and somewhat entertaining and I definitely would love you to subscribe and Like and thumbs up below And we’re there gonna be a lot more of these episodes and we’re gonna sort of analyze media and entertainment and give you a better idea of how people change so Remember to follow subscribe and you can certainly look for me on the web. I’m all over the web at affinity therapy services We’ll talk soon

1 Comment

  • Reply Bartow Weiss February 11, 2020 at 10:30 pm

    Great analysis of a great show!

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