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Coronavirus: Trump Visits the CDC & Italy Locks Down | The Daily Show

March 13, 2020


Outside of China, one of the countries hardest hit
by the coronavirus has been Italy. Corona cases there seem
to be doubling overnight, and it’s gotten so bad
that at the Sistine Chapel, -God is now refusing
to touch man. -(laughter) And as for the government
of Italy, they’ve just decided
to shut it all down. All of Italy
is going on lockdown. Tonight the prime minister
announcing drastic new measures just a short time ago,
essentially telling everyone in his country to stay home. NEWSMAN: Prime Minister Giuseppe
Conte announcing tonight severe restrictions
on the entire nation of around 60 million people. From tomorrow morning,
all sporting events are off, including soccer. The general public
should only go to work and work from home if possible. In a Rome suburb, the faithful
celebrated Mass outdoors. Notice the distance
between them, adhering to government advice
that members of the public should stay three feet away
from one another. Yeah, that’s right, folks.
Thanks to corona, Italy is completely locked down. No soccer matches. No cinema. Even church has changed, because worshippers
don’t want to get too close. And it’s gonna be hard to take
communion seriously when the… the priest has to throw wafers
into people’s mouths from across the room–
can you imagine that? Just gonna be like,
“The body of Christ… -from downtown!”
-(laughter) But it’s not just Europe. Coronavirus is also wreaking
havoc here in the U.S. And it’s becoming clear
that no one is safe. Back here in this country,
two members of Congress are putting themselves
under quarantine, because a man attending
a large gathering of Republicans tested positive
for the coronavirus. Senator Ted Cruz and Congressman Paul Gosar say
they had contact with the man at last month’s event,
known as CPAC. NEWSWOMAN: Two additional
Republican congressmen will undergo self-quarantine. Matt Gaetz and Doug Collins
join Senator Ted Cruz… NEWSMAN: Cruz releasing
a statement saying: Yeah. Because coronavirus
was at CPAC, four Republican lawmakers
are now quarantined and can have no human contact. And Ted Cruz is like,
“What’s human contact?” (laughter) Now, what’s really concerning is that if it turns out
multiple people in Congress have had corona contact, they might have to send
all of Congress home. Which would be a disaster, because if there’s no one
in Congress, then who would be left
to not pass any laws? And look, with coronavirus
spreading across the country, I know a lot of people
are scared right now. But there is no need to fear,
my friends, because, you see,
the stable genius in chief is on the case, and he’s
gonna do everything he can to help all of us
through this thing. Unless you’re already sick–
then-then you’re on your own. NEWSMAN:
This morning, 3,500 people on the Grand Princess
cruise ship will disembark in Oakland,
California. Of the just 45 people tested,
21 have confirmed cases. All guests will remain
in isolation for 14 days. Politico reports that Pence
and Health Department officials reason that
quickly removing passengers was the safest outcome. But the president,
he had a very different idea. (laughter) You know one thing
I appreciate about Trump is that even if he does
the right thing, he still tells us that he wanted
to do the wrong thing. He’s like, “Everyone told me to
save those people on the boat, “but if it was up to me,
I’d let those bastards die. -(laughter)
-“Just give me one fire arrow, “and I’ll solve the boat problem
Viking style. Boom. Corona’s
Valhalla’s problem now.” (laughter) What’s fascinating
about Trump is that, even as he bumbles his way
through the corona response, he thinks that he’s doing
an amazing job. Yeah. Yeah, maybe you
should have done a lot of things -(cheering) -other than
running for president. But… but this is
where we are now. And I’ll be honest, even
if Trump had some other job, I still think he’d just find
a way to somehow ruin things. Like, even if he was a mailman,
he’d still screw things up. Be like, “Ding-dong,
I’ve got your corona vaccine. “But I ran over it
with my truck. If you suck on the cardboard,
you should be fine.” And by the way, I…
I’m not sure that Trump has a natural ability for science, especially considering that
he thinks scientific knowledge can be passed down
through his uncle. (laughter) Trump doesn’t have…
a natural abi… he doesn’t have
a natural anything. I mean, that’s
why we can all see his tan wiping off on his collar. -There’s nothing natural
about this man. -(groans) Yeah. That’s not a normal thing. (laughter) Look, man, clearly Trump
is not a natural expert at this, because he said the vaccine
could be ready in a few months. It can’t.
A couple weeks ago, he said the number of cases
would quickly go down to zero. It has been the opposite.
He even said that you can’t spread
the disease if you sneeze
with your eyes open. -Achoo! It doesn’t help.
-(laughter) And look, Trump… Trump
can’t afford to be misinformed about corona,
not just because he’s president, but because, as an older man
who’s not in great shape and spends his time
touching strangers, he’s definitely at risk. If Trump is not careful,
he could get sick, he could be incapacitated,
or, worst of all, he could be trapped
in quarantine with Ted Cruz.

100 Comments

  • Reply i Tap March 12, 2020 at 7:09 pm

    Why are you joking around you Jackass

  • Reply Mark Burnett March 12, 2020 at 7:10 pm

    Is this how we die? Rly way to spread panic a hole

  • Reply Dozogovi ovv renvah March 12, 2020 at 7:22 pm

    i wish i could block this guy

  • Reply CHRISTO G March 12, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    What a sadness to see you are joking/mocking GOD JESUS CHRIST !!

  • Reply Malcolm May March 12, 2020 at 7:55 pm

    What it they use this, as a way for Trump to resign?

  • Reply Malcolm May March 12, 2020 at 7:57 pm

    Scary how easy it was getting a deadly virus that close to a President.

  • Reply Google User March 12, 2020 at 8:03 pm

    Trump gives so much content for comedy 😂

  • Reply DEMON Yt March 12, 2020 at 8:06 pm

    #cancle our exams!!!!

  • Reply Arunachalam Thangachalam March 12, 2020 at 8:26 pm

    He is always pumping with his both hands like a child.

  • Reply PASQUALE March 12, 2020 at 8:31 pm

    FLU KILLS 650k a year

  • Reply JUNGO March 12, 2020 at 8:51 pm

    Please spread the word to the world that Chinese president Xi is fully responsible for spreading this pandemic disease around the world and he should be kicked out of Chine and be inprisoned!!!!!

  • Reply PASQUALE March 12, 2020 at 9:04 pm

    TREVOR UR AN ASSHOLE

  • Reply PASQUALE March 12, 2020 at 9:05 pm

    TREVOR R U TRANS

  • Reply jesus perez March 12, 2020 at 9:26 pm

    The funny thing is that i think donald trump thinks his uncle was a medical doctor when in reality he was an engineer with a phd.

  • Reply DililyPoof March 12, 2020 at 9:28 pm

    “He could be dead…or worse…he could
    be quarantined with Ted Cruz”

  • Reply MoneyGod vG March 12, 2020 at 9:32 pm

    I'm sure people are panicking so much about this virus because there is absolutely no progression on finding a cure because apparently other diseases or viruses were way worse than the Coronavirus

  • Reply raven scott March 12, 2020 at 9:40 pm

    no hot dates ?

  • Reply Sly88Frye March 12, 2020 at 9:46 pm

    hey at least with these for Republican senators being quarantined that means that whatever the Democrats want the past won't be blocked by these four Republicans at least. too bad the DNC will probably just do whatever they can to maintain status-quo like they have been doing by pushing for status quo Joe over Progressive Bernie Sanders.

    But in all seriousness it is really sad how serious this has become. Honestly this isn't the most deadly virus in the history of humankind, but the fact remains there is no vaccine so until something is done that can actually weaken this virus things will start to get worse. in perspective the flu actually has killed considerably a lot more people than the coronavirus, but still there has been no vaccine and that is a big problem.

  • Reply Alien king muzic fully alien March 12, 2020 at 10:10 pm

    https://youtu.be/2UxwZ7i9E28

  • Reply Martin Rangel March 12, 2020 at 10:21 pm

    I can’t stand this guy’s blatant ignorance. It drives me insane when I watch the daily show and I avoid it amap; but too often curiosity gets the best of me then feel like going off on somebody but know it’s pointless.

  • Reply Kyle Brock March 12, 2020 at 10:23 pm

    I was just getting into the sports and church ghosts.

  • Reply Kyle Brock March 12, 2020 at 10:25 pm

    It's now official CPAC is dirty and nasty. Knew that alt right party was disgusting from the beginning.

  • Reply Kyle Brock March 12, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    Super genius! Holy shit he's full of his own shit. It's coming out of his mouth, his tweets, his skin.

  • Reply morbitz cool March 12, 2020 at 10:27 pm

    He seems many haters from his own country anyway why he won th election in 2016.?

  • Reply Pasquale Gelardi March 12, 2020 at 11:05 pm

    Thomas Sowell has suggested a military coup.

  • Reply Pasquale Gelardi March 12, 2020 at 11:06 pm

    This banana boat man reminds me of Obuana.

  • Reply Usman Carlucci March 12, 2020 at 11:19 pm

    The doctors were saying, 'what a moron?'

  • Reply svenm sandity March 12, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    if congress is sent home who will prevent trump from starting ww3 or stealing all the money in America

  • Reply Amer Azmi Rohazam March 12, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    We're doomed…

  • Reply Frances Duty March 13, 2020 at 12:27 am

    Trump= corrupt idiot.

  • Reply iwatchedbobsburgerswaytoomanytimes oof March 13, 2020 at 12:55 am

    I feel like I’m watching the end of history

  • Reply Christy T March 13, 2020 at 1:09 am

    We can only hope Trump gets it, just so he has to become better informed.

  • Reply king rasta man March 13, 2020 at 1:52 am

    Make sure when you pick ya next president make sure he is a smart one ok America lol

  • Reply nikkie nova March 13, 2020 at 1:52 am

    love you Trevor you are the shit

  • Reply NOVATOR March 13, 2020 at 1:53 am

    It's a hot subject.. will definitely got your attention but you should stay away from it.. it's not funny.

  • Reply Truth be Told March 13, 2020 at 2:02 am

    I agree wit Trump NO ONE! should step back on this soil till we KNOW! were good here sorry for the families that want there love ones off that ship but we need to get in savage mode cuz wanting your family back wit illnesses just so u can love on them again shouldn't mean shit to us! America has joked long enough! Dont wait till we becoming China! ACT NOW!

  • Reply Gabriel March 13, 2020 at 2:15 am

    At least!a good news.

  • Reply Amber Marko March 13, 2020 at 2:17 am

    What the hell is a super genius 😂

  • Reply ogaga ovie March 13, 2020 at 2:24 am

    Trump's hand gestures are killing me

  • Reply Deesus March 13, 2020 at 2:27 am

    Travor actually cares for trump

  • Reply Bill Friedman March 13, 2020 at 2:35 am

    And this is the man millions of people elect for president? How freaking stupid can you be?

  • Reply Isaac Padilla March 13, 2020 at 2:39 am

    We need Medicare 4 All

  • Reply Mom Scott March 13, 2020 at 2:46 am

    I just love your show and sense of humor.💯

  • Reply ZakkyAllDay March 13, 2020 at 3:00 am

    Scientists are asking Trump how he knows all that false information.

  • Reply Cancun American March 13, 2020 at 3:02 am

    Donald's been exposed and he's still trying to Fck Us like a Porn 🌟 without a condom! 😕😷🇺🇸🤦🏽‍♂️

  • Reply 呆湾瞑瞩脚盆后裔 March 13, 2020 at 3:20 am

    Trump: no one knows the new crown virus better than me

  • Reply Hussein Mahmoud March 13, 2020 at 4:03 am

    LOL

  • Reply DataGeekHub March 13, 2020 at 4:23 am

    Comparison of 5 fatal viruses which turned out to be a public threat throughout the world, among which coronavirus is spreading the fastest so far, the death rate is also
    not as flu. It has TWO stages as to spreading graph. The first one likely is due to the downplayed data from mainland China by the CCP. https://youtu.be/HKAH2IVbHWY

  • Reply Alexis Luna March 13, 2020 at 4:30 am

    Has anyone noticed it's only affecting a certain group of people 🧐

  • Reply Toby Sanchez March 13, 2020 at 4:34 am

    Fuck Ted Cruz

  • Reply Charlie Caltagarone March 13, 2020 at 4:39 am

    We couldn't be so lucky he would come down with it.

  • Reply 욜로욜로 March 13, 2020 at 4:41 am

    All over the world need to learn how S.Korea doing against corona 19

  • Reply TheReal_ist March 13, 2020 at 4:59 am

    Trump: So ya my Uncle taught at MIT, so I'm pretty smart and stuff.
    Me: So what my dogs apart of our family hes like a brother to me. That doesn't mean I can suddenly smell 100x better then my fellow humans.
    Get the f**k out of here with that bullS**t u child.

  • Reply Agatha Inteligencia Artificial March 13, 2020 at 5:06 am

    venezuelan zone libry

  • Reply Li算法 March 13, 2020 at 5:29 am

    where i can see this video with captions

  • Reply Iron Butterfly March 13, 2020 at 5:32 am

    Why the hell does he need to spray tan himself all the time?!

  • Reply Uriel Mendoza March 13, 2020 at 5:43 am

    Cringy watching this….

  • Reply M L White March 13, 2020 at 6:30 am

    Have you noticed that ONLY Trump's children defend his behavior? Never his siblings. Or other relatives.

  • Reply David Dong March 13, 2020 at 6:35 am

    Frankly, I’m fucking tired of people showing no respect to our president. Did all of your mothers taught you it’s ok to be disrespectful to others?

  • Reply Kebenei T March 13, 2020 at 7:01 am

    😂😂when Trump was all out talking about how smart his uncle was and how he knows so much about Corona virus the guy to his left was literally laughing at his face and how 'smart' Trump was

  • Reply M Benyi March 13, 2020 at 7:22 am

    I feel sorry for Americans.

  • Reply so soeurt March 13, 2020 at 7:55 am

    Good

  • Reply S. R.T. March 13, 2020 at 7:58 am

    Dr. Donald Trump. LOL And I'm the pope.

  • Reply Starrk Coyote March 13, 2020 at 8:02 am

    Gahahaha that guys face when Trump is talking about leaving them on the boat is fuckin priceless

  • Reply Franklin Vaugn March 13, 2020 at 8:39 am

    I understand we need to keep our spirits up, but don’t be a horse’s ass about it. Everyone on social media these days seems to think they’re an expert but the truth is this is very arcane scientific subject matter and there’s only a handful of people in the world who understand it.

  • Reply Sherry Burns March 13, 2020 at 8:43 am

    Trump at MIT? Doing what? He's not smart enough to serve food in the cafeteria!!

  • Reply pm trieve March 13, 2020 at 9:33 am

    You've listened to Deep State propaganda peddler. Now try the truth: https://scontent-lax3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.15752-9/89548825_275239433493432_6446743458869673984_n.png?_nc_cat=107&_nc_sid=b96e70&_nc_oc=AQnHFMGAzE1SUyJqiTKpZdUwldC4vAvjGUSp86qLZeK_h0TQIC0L_gxvBscMgOVlUIg&_nc_ht=scontent-lax3-2.xx&oh=cb44c71eed83b97aff916168073b9195&oe=5E8FEFE6

  • Reply pm trieve March 13, 2020 at 9:34 am

    Red Pill time.
    X22 Report: Green Castle Online, The Stage Must Be Set WW, Times Up, Patriots Ready – Episode 2120b https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72IMunO1utQ&feature=youtu.be

  • Reply Rock March 13, 2020 at 9:34 am

    Hide Robert Mogaby and Larry King.

  • Reply Babar Khan March 13, 2020 at 9:40 am

    Trump is awesome

  • Reply Tia pongen March 13, 2020 at 10:43 am

    People are scared of corona virus, most of them have lost their loved ones, People are praying and hoping to get the vaccine ASAP.
    Instead of showing awareness, do's and don'ts about the virus, Trevor is making fun of it!!?
    What a SHIT show.

  • Reply Ronnie Sasser March 13, 2020 at 11:13 am

    I wish all of the ass holes at CPAC would get the virus and die

  • Reply egg warrior March 13, 2020 at 11:26 am

    Doctor John trump hahah

  • Reply Jae Lynn March 13, 2020 at 11:50 am

    It's only been 3 days after Italy went on lock-down? Seems longer than that to me! If the US does the same NOW, this will all be over in about 3 weeks, with the least amount of cases. That's how you stop this virus, they are dragging it out on purpose. The people can't be this ineffective! I'm just shocked b/c I'm also in the medical diagnostics field and this is just unbelievable to me that we all just don't stay put as much as we can, for 2-3 weeks. You won't starve. Have people who have been on lock-down help people in the US, I dunno, maybe use the people who are in the National Guard, or how about the Navy ships that were quarantined at sea for two weeks! They should be past quarantine and hopefully healthy.

  • Reply tae love March 13, 2020 at 12:33 pm

    I was drinking water when he said , u won't get coronavirus if u sneeze with ur eyes, u can imagine wt happened

  • Reply farida farda March 13, 2020 at 12:39 pm

    ..hi from Iran🇮🇷..You are the best.

  • Reply Practical of anything March 13, 2020 at 12:45 pm

    This trevor Noah chap is becoming stale. They should just make him an American

  • Reply Waheed Bahadory March 13, 2020 at 12:49 pm

    Trump got coronavirus according a source tramp has flu “

  • Reply full sender March 13, 2020 at 1:13 pm

    Facts: we touch our face and mouth an average of 200 times a day. All door knobs, push buttons, atms, railings, toilets, flushers, money, tables and condiments are infected by persons with the virus. Wash Hands with soap or alcohol. Wear a mask! Avoid contact! Lets learn from Italy and Wuhan! Stay safe for yourself and your love ones.

  • Reply azariah johnson March 13, 2020 at 1:23 pm

    why is h making all this a joke

  • Reply Kevin Tsang March 13, 2020 at 1:45 pm

    Ww3: I’ll give you a break
    Coronavirus: Not so fast

  • Reply Cole Chapman March 13, 2020 at 1:54 pm

    Finally being an introvert like myself has its advantages.

  • Reply julia March 13, 2020 at 3:39 pm

    The 58 haplotypes of the new coronavirus (numbered H1-H58) were divided into five groups A, B, C, D, and E. Their relationship is: Group A is the oldest, and can be said to be the ancestor of the new crown virus, the lower the descendants. A evolved into B, B evolved into C, and C evolved into D and EThe new coronaviruses appearing in Wuhan are all H1 viruses in group C, and the viruses that appear in patients in the United States include A B C D E five groups of viruses. In other words, the United States has the most viral genes.
    If this relationship is compared to adult relationships, then the group A virus is grandpa, the group B virus is dad, the group C virus is a son, and the group D and E viruses are grandchildren. Mainland China has only a son virus, the United States has a grandfather virus, a dad virus, a son virus and a grandchild virus, and the US new crown virus has all five poisons.

  • Reply Lindsey Jordan March 13, 2020 at 3:59 pm

    I find it physically difficult to watch the president speak. I have to close my eyes really tight and resist shutting off the video until he is done speaking.

  • Reply ElLic Online March 13, 2020 at 4:03 pm

    RESPECT ITALY

  • Reply patty enstone March 13, 2020 at 4:08 pm

    Trump get virus !🤯🤯 Me : yesss

  • Reply Mel March 13, 2020 at 4:34 pm

    Speaking of that uncle, Dr. John Trump last request was that his nefew (this idiot) not become president. He believed that he was not capable of being a decent man let alone president. All I’m saying is his uncle knew him better than us. These poor white people have been conned once again.

  • Reply Sriyani Goonetilleke March 13, 2020 at 4:42 pm

    Trump is superman. He is capable th handle any situation. I like his sense of humor.

  • Reply The Black Pearl March 13, 2020 at 4:48 pm

    Look at the old men looking at him😂😂 they arent taking him seriously

  • Reply King T’Challa March 13, 2020 at 5:03 pm

    “Boom, Corona’s Valhallas problem now”
    I’m fucking dead!! 😂😂

  • Reply Yoseph Desta March 13, 2020 at 5:35 pm

    Trump's mouth is a river of cringe

  • Reply Robert ukrn March 13, 2020 at 5:54 pm

    You are lucky to have Trump. Stop mocking him, he is doing alot more than other presidents. And to this asshole comedian, your jokes are lame. Try do a real job prick.

  • Reply Engineer Tayyab imtiaz March 13, 2020 at 6:09 pm

    Trump is saving you from big war

  • Reply yasmeen nour March 13, 2020 at 6:46 pm

    You know…. Corona is a chocolate brand name here in Egypt

  • Reply Cesar 777 March 13, 2020 at 6:55 pm

    If trump had coronavirus, they would find a cure that same day

  • Reply Kojak March 13, 2020 at 6:56 pm

    Easy blasphemy at Christians. Now try that with Muslims, smart ass

  • Reply Victor dehli March 13, 2020 at 6:57 pm

    Noble persons  slammed the Trump administration's maximum cruel"medical terrorism" against innocent Iranian, artificially-induced shortages have put a major strain on hospitals' resources.

  • Reply The Breakfast Clubber March 13, 2020 at 7:18 pm

    of course no one is safe, the news has to stop making the public panic even more…

    give us news updates on what they’re doing for a vaccine

  • Reply kiliipower March 13, 2020 at 7:27 pm

    The USA which always presents itself as a world power has no general health care and also defends itself stubbornly against this "socialism".
    Which leads to the fact that people go to work despite illness, because they have no health insurance and no insurance against loss of earnings.

  • Reply Wolf of the Scalopendra clan March 13, 2020 at 8:17 pm

    Thanks to fucking China

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