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coping with a mental illness: boyfriends, medications, school | Q&A | Alexa Losey

January 16, 2020


Hey guys, what’s up? It’s Alexa. Uhh, welcome back! Thanks for coming back. Um, I was filming a “what I eat in a day video” and I literally couldn’t get through it just because I didn’t feel like I was into it. And I just don’t really think it’s fair to make videos, for me and for you guys, if I’m just not really enjoying it. Because I feel like you just don’t make good content and that’s not fun. So I decided to just sit down and do another mental health Q&A just because I don’t even really know what else to make. I just feel like that’s kind of who I am as a creator for now, which also feels kind of horrible and I just didn’t really know I was going to react the way that I did and react so vulnerably and the past few weeks have been really, really weird since the first video talking about the hospital and the second one with like a follow-up and all my friends have been incredibly supportive and you guys have been incredibly supportive. And just kind of hearing what you guys have to say is absolutely amazing. Okay, so I just wanted to thank you guys for being so cool, and I wanted to do something for one of you guys that would hopefully brighten your day and um, I found all this and decided I wanted to give it to somebody so it’s just like 600 dollars worth of makeup. It’s like a lot of benefit stuff, um like some highlighters, an eyeshadow palette, just kind of like a little care package and I figured somebody would really, really love this so I’ll leave a link down below of how to enter, and hopefully somebody that wins is somebody that’s going through something and can get brightened up by this. So, yeah. “How do you feel about starting medication?” Um, medication has really personally helped me out a lot um, it makes life a lot easier so I think, I mean it’s not right for everybody and some people really disagree with me I think just have an open mind about it if you think it’s going to help you, maybe give it a shot. Talk to your psychiatrist. I don’t know! “How did you learn to cope with different symptoms that came along with illnesses?” Um, a lot of hard work, honestly that’s the thing, it’s like taking care of your mental health is a lot of work. It’s like having a full-time job. So I think I’m really not even fully in a place where I feel like I’ve coped with everything. I think if I was I would be making a “what I eat in a day” video currently. Life is totally hard. It’s really hard to cope with some things. There are some days where I can’t do much and I think the biggest thing is just learning how to accept that. And I think my also biggest thing is learning how to relax and take time for myself because if I don’t, I just end up spacing out and doing nothing for like an entire day it’s really bad. How did I keep up with school while I was in the hospital? Um, I kind of didn’t. Their whole thing is they only really let us do 3 hours of schoolwork a day So I just kind of did the bare minimum, took my tests when I had to, and I had to finish it up over the summer, but I actually ended up graduating early and, I had to finish up the work over the summer, which was a lot, but you know, priorities. “What’s something that gets you through a rough day?” Honestly, I have a few friends that I talk to about how I feel a lot and I typically will just like FaceTime one of them, call one of them, and they always do the same for me. So they just kind of get me through it and they really cheer me up. I have like probably 2 friends, specifically, that are just so supportive and amazing. And then I think if it’s one of those days where it’s just me, I’ll just go and do something or I’ll just be like, “Okay, I’m going to zone out and watch TV for a bit” Um, yeah, I just kind of try to do something, but some days I can’t pull myself out of it So… Advice for people with testing anxiety. I have horrible testing anxiety. Before I take a test, I’ve been known to have panic attacks, panic attacks during tests, Um, you can get a…most schools allow you to get a learning disability pass so when you’re taking tests you can either be in like a quiet room by yourself, or you might be able to have an extra like two hours It would take me, because I’m dyslexic, about four hours to take a math test. but I was allowed to have six hours, and I was allowed to come back. So I could like take the test for three hours and then come back the next day and finish the test. Um, but that was just because I had to get a learning disability pass. “Was it hard opening up to your friends about a mental illness?” Um, I think it was weirdly easier to tell the internet than it was my friends. A few people really knew about it, but now it’s like it actually is nice having all my friends know and it was nice kind of coming out with that to everybody at one time. But yeah no, it’s very weird talking about it with friends and I love talking about it now, because I feel like I’m kind of like set free in a sense but…yeah Somebody asked me how you cope with being heartbroken while you have depression. And I think this is literally one of the hardest things you can do in the whole world because you just…heartbreak is going to make you depressed. It’s like you’re mourning the loss of somebody that is alive that you want to reach out to but you can’t because they don’t want you in their life it just doesn’t work out for whatever reason it’s just still going to break your heart. And I feel like I’ve been properly heartbroken four times in my life by people that I loved so unconditionally and some were friends, some were people that I loved romantically everything, whatever. My friend Nick always tells me, he’s like, “Just get over it” Like, he’s like, “it sucks, but it’s not going to last forever” and I think it’s the same thing like when you’re depressed you feel like you’re going to be in this black hole forever and ever, but it’s like I’m still heartbroken. I’m still heartbroken, like there’s specifically like one friend that absolutely shattered me that I don’t know when I’m going to recover from it. I’m still like upset. But it’s like, what else are you going to do? Like, I don’t know. It sucks. It’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt more than other people, but you know it’s life, I guess. I think that’s the best way to accept anything that’s sad. It’s just, it’s life. “How do you confront people when they say it’s trendy to have a mental illness?” When people try to make mental health trendy, it’s completely disrespectful because it would be like making diabetes trendy like everyone that has an illness doesn’t want it and I think if you’re romanticizing it, it might show that you do have a mental illness and you’re trying to kind of identify yourself through that, but it also, for people that don’t have it, people that are like, “Oh, I have to do this”, “I have to do that”, it’s like, you know there’s so many of us that actually really do suffer with that and that’s not okay. And, for example, I was at a Halloween party yesterday and somebody had like a psych ward outfit on and I was like, that’s just completely disrespectful to the people that have actually been there and know what it’s like. and you’re just like adding to the stigma of people being crazy when they’re not. They just have an illness. I kind of don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to cry on camera. I’m just like so in a mood, and I don’t want to talk to people. Yeah, I think this is probably my last video about all this. I said that last time, but I think for a while, this is the last one. I’ll probably make a video about dyslexia in the future. And then, I don’t know, if you guys have any other questions later, I’ll probably make one in a couple of months. probably around like Mental Health Awareness Month. So, um, yeah, let’s break the stigma. Let’s be kind to each-other, because you never know what that person’s going through that day. And um, yeah, if you guys want to try to get some makeup, there’s a giveaway. And I’ll be back with happier videos next week if you guys want to subscribe, I would love to have you back. And, until next week. Bye!

40 Comments

  • Reply Patricia Martínez November 28, 2016 at 1:54 am

    I battled depression and still deal with anxiety… so watching you talk so freely about this is really comforting

  • Reply Lynn- Turtles November 28, 2016 at 6:28 am

    I've been through a shit ton in the last week including an overdose suicide attempt that lead me to the hospital, getting diagnosed with depression, and my parents trying to understand why i self harm. listening to your story's and how you deal with your problems has made it so much easier for me, knowing i can hopefully get though this eventually. <3

  • Reply Hilarynicolee November 29, 2016 at 9:25 pm

    Heartbreak doesn't just magically go away, but I've learned that with time it gets better, and it's so important to realize that you're never alone<3

  • Reply Reading Alien November 30, 2016 at 5:31 am

    I suffer from anxiety and do offened panick attacks but my family doesn't think it is a real bad thing …

  • Reply Mika Kat December 2, 2016 at 6:17 am

    Yeah I suffer from depression for 2-3 years

  • Reply Mallory Armstrong December 3, 2016 at 3:04 am

    i love you for making this

  • Reply Genesis December 3, 2016 at 7:12 am

    This video was absolutely inspiring to watch, I deal with depression and anxiety and I've gone back and forth between going on medication or staying away from it. It gets to where I have to just walk out of class or just skip school altogether. I can't go to certain events that I love, concerts and festivals are my absolute favorite but I get to the point where I can't breathe. I also recently went through a break up with my boyfriend of three years and it was the most painful thing I could have gone through, it's been 6 months and it still hurts me. You are an inspiration to m, thank you for being so open because you being open about something that's really hard to do so has helped me. Thank you Alexa.

  • Reply Esther Lopez December 3, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    if it makes you happy I've been to multiple mental hospitals for depression

  • Reply Kayden Purvis December 3, 2016 at 9:12 pm

    im also dyslexic!!

  • Reply Emily Price December 9, 2016 at 10:06 pm

    check out the Linden Technique. Only thing that CURES people from mental conditions. And it's just that, a condition (temporary). Worked for me.

  • Reply SwagKirby December 11, 2016 at 9:57 pm

    I love your hat

  • Reply isabella December 13, 2016 at 1:02 am

    this video is really awesome, i love when people are honest and raw this way, it makes me feel not alone with my struggles. thank you for that.

  • Reply astrid December 26, 2016 at 12:09 am

    We all love we and we are so proud of you❤

  • Reply quite dankly December 29, 2016 at 3:56 am

    I low key wanna get admitted to a mental hospital because I've been feeling so bad lately but after telling my parents about how I was they said plz don't cause anymore problems cause we have things to do and don't have time to deal with things like this so idk what to do

  • Reply Bed&Breakfast ASMR January 1, 2017 at 5:21 pm

    what are you diagnosed with…

  • Reply Zoe Ashcroft January 8, 2017 at 1:24 am

    Medication has helped me SO MUCH with my anxiety and depression. I used to be so anti-medication but I have found that it just makes coping with life so much easier

  • Reply callingtheopening January 10, 2017 at 2:37 pm

    I think you are so brave despite everything you've went through!

  • Reply Gimme cookies January 12, 2017 at 12:10 pm

    You're a beautiful woman and has a beautiful soul, Alexa! xx

  • Reply mary pi January 15, 2017 at 1:23 am

    Yo lo vi en español y me parece que estàs incomoda con el tema , el tema de la medicaciòn es que debe adecuarse a las horas porque sino te da sueño. la ansiedad es totalmente incomoda, quiero mi pase!!!
    Respeto al estigma . claro que lo es !!
    Màs feo es recaer.
    Nunca dejes tus pastillas
    Y no te olvides de Dios.

  • Reply Iman Abrar January 16, 2017 at 5:52 am

    I saw this and tbh I'm so proud of you. You're a beautiful human being. Things will get better soon, stay strong

  • Reply mind wipe January 23, 2017 at 9:09 pm

    for a few weeks once i was hearing like my mind calling me stupid, if i complained it would become much worse, visits to monasteries and asking if they could pray for me seemed to work almost miraculously, particularly with hearing demons goading me they went instantly and never came back

  • Reply Your Entertainment City February 9, 2017 at 6:28 am

    I might have to check into a mental hospital myself .. my brains fried from all the meds , drugs and drinking!! I'm 24 & I can't snap back fully like I used too. I'm living in the past cannot be present & I don't feel in my body and I over think everything I'm shutting down . I over think things that once made me happy because of a thought I made up . I can't enjoy anything because of this and I don not know what's going on with me but my brain feels like it's declining the pscripts aren't even working any more … feeling hopeless I stopped smoking weed bc it made me paranoid and the negative thoughts I can't stop ..

  • Reply cecelia Serena March 7, 2017 at 3:16 pm

    I have anxiety too… a boy broke my heart like last year and im still not over it

  • Reply Justina Benetis March 24, 2017 at 3:07 pm

    These videos just help me know that I'm not alone

  • Reply Maryam Mimi May 19, 2017 at 5:25 am

    What medications do you take?

  • Reply Robert Rush May 24, 2017 at 7:22 am

    Jesus loves you he died for you and the bible says that if you will believe in Jesus you will be saved and have everlasting life. get to know Jesus he loves you so much. Jesus is the answer, not suicide

  • Reply MaddisonOlivia May 30, 2017 at 4:25 am

    I love this listening to others experiences with mental illness. We really all are in this together.

    I recently uploaded a video on depression and how I work through it! If anyone is interested in checking it out, please comment down below so I can respond!

  • Reply Janne Skogli July 5, 2017 at 3:32 pm

    You are absolutely amazing! <3

  • Reply Sarah Brown July 10, 2017 at 4:25 pm

    Every video I watch of you, brightens my day. Honestly don't know what I'd do without these videos. You have changed my life and I just found you the other day. Absolutely love you.

  • Reply Don Bon July 25, 2017 at 9:07 am

    i could give you a hug

  • Reply Carlisle Pinter October 1, 2017 at 1:46 am

    This was really hard for me to watch because I've never related to anyone more especially when you said you're just in a mood and don't feel like doing anything. Ily thank you for this

  • Reply Connee Peters January 8, 2018 at 11:13 pm

    I have mental problems

  • Reply Aoife Magee March 9, 2018 at 10:35 pm

    Alexa I feel like I relate to you a lot. I’ve been through a lot of the same things bar a few. Stay strong I know this video is from like a year ago but u should be so proud of how far you’ve come

  • Reply Demi Zhou April 2, 2018 at 4:40 pm

    I went through a few of your videos talking about depression, but I don't think I've heard you addressing the origin of your depression.. is there not one? Or maybe you had already addressed it somewhere but I didn't see

  • Reply JustMai April 3, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    so so love that you adressed all of this! lots of loveee xxx

  • Reply Paul John April 13, 2018 at 1:34 pm

    What would your advice be to cope with autism and irrational things that obviously come with it alexa?

  • Reply Nida Mukhtar May 14, 2018 at 3:32 pm

    This was so brutally honest and beautiful!! Thank you so much for sharing your truth!

  • Reply Daisy Duck May 25, 2018 at 6:08 am

    What kind of therapist do you have that allows you to flexibly see them more than once per week? Most therapists I know are very busy and have a hard time seeing patients every week. Where did you get your therapist?

  • Reply Making It November 29, 2018 at 3:54 am

    Your a winner!👍

  • Reply K G December 21, 2018 at 4:48 am

    I have no mental illness but I have high blood sugar problems due to sodas. But isn't medication poison?

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