Articles, Blog

Cooking Tutorial Assignment: Witch’s Brew

March 1, 2020

Hello viewers, fellow witches, goblins, ghouls,
and anyone else who might have an interest in Witch’s Brew. Now many of you think you
know how to make Witch’s Brew and I’m here to tell you that you don’t. I know
how to make Witch’s Brew and I’m going to show you everything you need to know about
making Witch’s Brew. It is I, Yumi, here to explain how to gather your ingredients
for this potion. As you watch my sister chop and slice as needed, I shall explain the first
ingredient: this is fermented fairy brains. It is available at your regular neighbourhood
market. Now, as always with such things, it is best to harvest your onion out of your
own garden, but if that is unavailable, things are fine, you can still harvest, but you must
harvest under a full blood moon and when you dice your onion, it must be diced at dawn
exactly. In addition to the onion, you must also harvest the eyeballs of eagles. Quite
possibly the most enjoyable of gathering the ingredients is gathering the diced fingers
of your enemies. For spices, you need moth dust, ground tarantula fangs, powdered troll
teeth, the ground fingernails of a goblin, and finally three fistfuls of powdered pig
warts. Oh yes—and don’t forget—a quart of toad urine. Now back to Gisella. Alright.
Now that you have all of your ingredients ready, chopped and prepared—the right ingredients,
mind you—the next step is to brew your brew. Now, it must be done over a fire after sunset.
It must be or it won’t serve any healing properties—trust me, I’ve tried. The first
thing we’re going to start with is the toad’s urine, that’s the first thing, the order
is very important here, you must start with the toad urine. It gives it a certain quality
as it simmers over the fire. Just go ahead and pour it in. Alright. The next thing are
fingers from an enemy. Now…it has to be the worst! The worse the enemy is, the better
the taste is in the soup, you have to remember that, it’s very important. You must find
your most dreaded enemy…your most dreaded enemy…And you go ahead and pour it in now,
real careful. The ploppier it sounds, the better it tastes. Fingers are delicious! If
you’ve never had fried fingers on a Friday night—whoo!—you’re missing out. I can
do that one in my next video. Actually yes, let me know, in my next video—you know my
Instagram handle…@witchpleaserecipes—and I’ll make another one. Just let me know
in the comments if you’d like fried fingers on a Friday for next time. And the next thing
is some onion from your garden. Make sure it’s from your own garden; the more home-grown,
the more the healing. Go ahead and carefully just dump that in a little, make sure you
get all of it, stir as you go, don’t let your pot go into the fire. Alright. Just keep
stirring and stirring. Now after you’ve put in the onions, you must stir five times…three…four…and
five. Alright, next…we have…the eyeballs of an eagle. The better the splash, the better
the soup. Get that nice and mixed. Alright, and next, we have the most important ingredient
that you may be putting in: the brains of a fairy, chopped up and ripe. It’s—you
get extra points if it’s an evil fairy; they produce the most delicious…meals. Stir
that up real good…nice and hot…smells delicious! And the next thing we will put
in is our powdered pig warts…go ahead and sprinkle that around…gives it a nice reddish-orange
color. That makes it taste even better…stir that in. Next, we have the ground tarantula
fangs..add that in…stir that up. And next, we have our moth dust, go ahead and add that.
And after that, we have our powdered troll teeth. And last, but not least, the ground
fingernails of a goblin. And then you’re going to stir it up…sometimes it helps to
get right in the fire. If you want it to have the most healing properties that it can have,
you must stir it…and say…aaaahhhhh-heeeeuuuuh, aaaaahhhh-heeeeuh. You must stir and stir
over the fire—don’t stop. *Yumi cackles.* Yumi. *Gisella cackles along.*

1 Comment

  • Reply Trap Drip March 1, 2020 at 2:53 pm

    Nice content! Keep it up! Would you like to be YouTube friends? :]

  • Leave a Reply