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Calling Out Sick at the Bread Factory with A Yeast Infection

September 2, 2019


It’s smelly, and unpleasant… and like, I don’t wanna be itchin’ around the store. Ya know? It’s gross. This is Lela. How may I help you? Hi, this is Britney. Umm, I just needed to call somebody to talk about getting my shift covered. Okay, uh what shift are you scheduled for? Um, it’s actually tomorrow… …and I have like a yeast infection… and I can’t work cause there’s like two loafs of Wonder Bread between my legs… and…I need a lot of butter and warmth. I can’t… I can’t… I can’t do this. I’m sorry… Okay, so you’re calling out sick for your shift tomorrrow? Yeah… I’m not loafing around either. Alright, umm…let me pullitupinda do you know where you’re employed tomorrow? I work at this location. Did you say orientation? Yeah! Okay…umm…. one moment… I just want to double check while I’m on the phone with your really quick… …okay… I’m sorry that sounds really painful. It’s not just painful. It’s smelly and unpleasant and like, I don’t wanna be itchin’ around the store. You know? It’s gross. Probably TMI but …I mean…. Life’s short, you gotta talk to people I’m pretty transparent as you can see I just wanna be honest. Okay…um… So, okay. I just want to double check the training schedule. Can I get your… Just since you’re not coming up on the actual deployment Um, cause you said it was for orientation. So that’s probably not why Just in case, can I just get your phone number? In case someone needs to have a follow up call? Yeah sure. It’s 5811 5811. Okay, thank you Britney. I’ll pass that onto Bob whose opening manager tomorrow. Okay? Okay, um…do you have any advice? …what?… Do you have any advice for me? Any advice? Yeah, like… First of all, I don’t wanna get in trouble for missing my shift. This is serious! And like, the doctor told me I SHOULD NOT BE AROUND FOOD! And like… I’m serious, my… my downstairs looks like… A Bread Factory, you know. Kinda like where we work? Do you think I got it from work? Um, I don’t think, I don’t think you could’ve gotten it from work. …um…. At yeast help me out! Yeah…Um…the… So what would be helpful is… um, I know when you call out sick I’m not, I’m not sure what the exact illness policy on this specific situation but a lot of times a doctor’s note helps for coming back to work so whenever you’re feeling better, um… and and if you said a doctor said you shouldn’t be around food if you can get that in writing I know that that um… would be super helpful if you’re worried at all. Okay, yeah I just don’t I don’t wanna add any other ingredients to this mess. Yeah, absolutely. I’m already cooking up all kinds of stuff down there so… don’t need anything else ya know? …yeah… Oh yeah, I’ll pass that forward for you. I’m so sorry. Oh it’s okay. I, I love you. Thank you so much for helping me out. Yeah absolutely? Have a good rest of your or feel better! Get some rest! Okay, you too…I love you… Okay…bye… Bye! Awwwwwhahaw. That was great! How bout, I gave that lady the number of the guy at Quiznos. WHAAATTTHAHAHAAHA

1 Comment

  • Reply JimBobthe Impaler September 1, 2019 at 8:32 pm

    FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thank the baby Jesus!!!! another Episode just in time. You guys rock!!! Now don't let your MEATLOAF!!

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