Articles, Blog

“Big D**k Energy” Isn’t Real – Jenny Zigrino – Stand-Up Featuring

November 13, 2019


– It is so good to be here ’cause I have only been
talking to college students for the last four months. Oh my god. It is so nice to just be here and be talking to
real sad people. You know what I mean? Like, ugh, they have
hope in their eyes. It’s fucking gross.
(audience laughs) And here’s the thing,
I didn’t know this. Did you know that college
kids drink for fun and not to forget? Did you guys know that?
(audience laughs) That’s insane! Like, I remember
when I was in college I would drink whatever
to get fucked up, right? I’d be like gin and tonic? Hell yeah. Vodka soda? Fuck yeah.
(audience laughs) Ethanol and Fanta? Let’s party.
(audience laughs) I can’t do that anymore. I’m 32, okay? I go to bed at 10
p.m. every night so I can wake up at
six in the morning and listen to motivational tapes so I have a reason to live. That’s
(audience laughs) all I do now. (chuckles) And it bums me out ’cause recently my
favorite one, Tony Robbins got me too-ed. Did you hear the news?
(girl laughs) Is anyone surprised?
(audience laughs) No, people pay $80,000 to go to their seminars, okay? If there’s not a weird,
satanic, sex-orgy going on, it’s a waste of my
fucking money, okay? (audience laughs) He got me too-ed. I got really sad
about it and look, we’re all monsters! Everyone in Hollywood
is a fucking monster. In two years, the only
people we’ll have left are going to be Lin-Manuel
Miranda and a Muppet. Those are the only ones.
(audience laughs) Okay and not even a good one. Gonzo? He fucks chickens.
(audience laughs) Okay? Miss Piggy is an abuser.
(laughing) And Kermit, he’s a beta male. No one fucking likes Kermit.
(audience laughs) All right? He’s a cuck, we all know that.
(laughing loudly) Yeah man. I mean, here’s the thing is that, when it
comes to drinking the one thing I really hate
hearing is people saying that lady drinks, right? Girly drinks are somehow
the weaker drink. That’s bullshit. ‘Cause I’ve never been
more fucked up in my life than off a girly drink.
(audience chuckles) Beer? That’s shit.
(audience laughs) Yeah, I could drink
12 beers, pass out, wake up in a fountain smelling
like a yeast infection, yeah. (laughing) I could do that. Or I can drink 2/3 of an
Appletini, black out, wake up I’ve started a small
business, okay? (crowd laughs) I just wake up, I’m just like, “Ah shit, did I incorporate
again last night?” (laughs) Ugh, man. So much paperwork.
(laughs) These dudes in my bed,
they’re my shareholders, okay? (laughs) We have a meeting coming up. The other thing I don’t like. I don’t like stereotypes, right? I hate this concept
of big dick energy. (laughs)
Right? You guys know what
I’m talking about. And I’ll tell you
why I don’t like it, ’cause it’s not real, okay? I’ve met people with big dicks. They are weird, quiet,
never make eye contact. (laughs)
That is every person with a big dick, okay? What you have is medium
penis power at best. And I get it, right? It’s heavy. They can’t make eye contact. They’re just like oh my god. (laughs) (exhales) I saw a boob today. I am wiped. (laughs) (groans) It’s true. I went on a date with a guy, during the date he said, “I just finished reading a
book on how to not be awkward.” (laughs) And my first thought was “oh man, I got to
go buy lube now”. Like that’s, my night
is ruined, okay? I’ve got to call out of work, I don’t even have a
job to go to, okay? I was just going to call
an office and be like, “Hi, I can’t come in today,
I encountered a giant dick”. And they were going to
be like “who are you?” and I would say a hero, click. (laughs) Living in LA has
really screwed me up. Anyone else? (cheers) This place is weird, okay? I didn’t realize what
a bubble we live in, until I left. I was doing a show in
Johnson City, Tennessee and I was on stage talking about the healing
powers of crystals. (laughs) Then I saw the look of
horror on everyone’s face, and I was like oh, they
think I’m talking about meth. ‘Cause everywhere else
in the country, LA, crystal is meth, okay? I was on stage being like, oh my god, the healing
powers of crystals. And they’re just like
crystal ruined my family. Like it was, such a different experience. I also learned about
this thing living in LA, called sex magic. Have you guys heard of it? Okay, get ready for your
minds to be blown, okay? Sex magic is the act of harnessing the power of your orgasm to
achieve your goals. That’s it. Its just masturbating
to things that you want. (laughs) It’s like a vision board
in your pants, you know? Like you don’t need to cut
out magazines or anything. Which I love this
concept ’cause that means if you get caught by your
partner masturbating, you can just be
like whatever babe I was just casting spells, okay? I was just casting some spells, I’m trying to get us a house, what the fuck are you doing? (laughs) You’re lazy not me. I know after this show, some of you are going
to go home and be like, let’s screen play. I get it. (laughs) I get it. Look at that call back (groans) or some of you are
just going to be like $50 gift card from Starbucks. I don’t know, whatever. Whatever you want to fuck to. (laughs) I’ll leave you guys
with this little PSA. I am a lady with endometriosis, any of my other
endo ladies, huh? Great, good to hear it. So what this is
if you don’t know, it’s a condition where
my uterine lining grows on other parts of my body. Right, like what a shitty
superpower to have. Like when they were
giving out mutant powers, they were just like storm, weather, cyclopes,
eye shit, Jenny, you’re not going to like this. And it’s just more proof of like how complicated
the female body is. Like I can grow other
parts of my organs everywhere else. A dick is going
to grow one place, it’s not changin’. There’s never going to
be a doctor’s appointment where the doctor’s like Mr.
Davis, the results came back. It’s exactly what we expected. You have a dick growing on
the inside of your lung. (laughs) And he’s just like oh my god. what are my options, doctor? Well you can either have a
high five, or a fist bump ’cause that shit is cool. You have a dick in
your lung, dude. Am I going to die? Oh, for sure, you’re
for sure going to die, you have a dick in your lung. Come on. Every time he gets a boner
he coughs, c’mon it’s great. It’s a great visual. But truly, I got to take
care of myself, right? I got to take care of all
that stuff down there. Don’t want to get
pregnant so I have an IUD. Okay, some of you do
know what that is. If you don’t know what it is, an IUD is a form
of birth control. It’s this little plastic T that they put in your uterus
using a tee shirt cannon. (laughs) (upbeat music)

100 Comments

  • Reply mouthymerc November 8, 2019 at 9:01 pm

    Endo lady here too!

  • Reply Carley May November 8, 2019 at 9:13 pm

    ???

  • Reply Tyler Covington November 8, 2019 at 10:26 pm

    I doubt she’s seen a actual big dick, if it isnt over 10” it doesn’t count

  • Reply fightingblindly November 8, 2019 at 10:30 pm

    Right after this I got a commercial before the next video and Tony Robbins was in it, lol. Something called dgachieve.com hahhaa

  • Reply Ashley Mendez November 8, 2019 at 11:38 pm

    Had to pause this video to find out what a "cuck" is…?

  • Reply Marcus Jackson November 8, 2019 at 11:47 pm

    this is so bad

  • Reply L'Epouvantail November 8, 2019 at 11:48 pm

    People were not horrified because they thought crystals was meth, they were horrified to realise people who believe in healing crystals actually exist.

  • Reply Abigail Poppins November 9, 2019 at 1:26 am

    I am making it CLEAR.NQP SORRY 8N8

  • Reply Pete Pyeatt November 9, 2019 at 2:03 am

    That’s funny because I’m weird, quiet and never make eye contact.

  • Reply Victor Reid November 9, 2019 at 4:40 am

    HEY KERMIT WILL KICK YOUR ASS

  • Reply Top Lobster November 9, 2019 at 4:42 am

    Comedy Central is really putting out some sub par stuff aye, like open mic stuff, it’s cool to see but maybe we can get a filter for the real comedians and the ons just like trying it out for a bit you know?

  • Reply Victoria Cannady November 9, 2019 at 6:43 am

    Girl, killin this look and the comedy

  • Reply Nayantara Gupta November 9, 2019 at 6:53 am

    This was really funny xD and what a hot lady. Loved it. I'm a fan.

  • Reply Luna Sphere November 9, 2019 at 10:35 am

    What?? What happened with tony Robbins???

  • Reply Shelley Handler November 9, 2019 at 10:37 am

    She is so damn funny. And original. More Jenny, please!

  • Reply Samantha Murphy-Keller November 9, 2019 at 11:41 am

    Why is beer and breweries even popular – ppl really like spending $10 on 5% alcohol and having beer breath that smells disgusting all to seem “not gay or too girly”? Really?? Ya, no thanks – I’ll take one 15% hard alcohol drink and have a hell of a better time than anyone barely getting around their third beer (belching the whole way through) ??

  • Reply Ohio Interior Design November 9, 2019 at 12:50 pm

    Nice. She is hot

  • Reply Diamond Dog November 9, 2019 at 12:52 pm

    I would pork her so hard. Chubby girls can take it better than skinny girls. I love them ?

  • Reply Keith Nieves November 9, 2019 at 1:21 pm

    ….

  • Reply Stellar-Stud Senpai-Sama November 9, 2019 at 2:28 pm

    I actually laughed at a female comedian im impressed comedy cental

  • Reply Lilith Dd November 9, 2019 at 3:43 pm

    Uh yes it is! Have you seen Jason todd?

  • Reply Justo T.Baggins November 9, 2019 at 4:05 pm

    Everytime he gets a boner he coughs! ?

  • Reply Piotr Mitrega November 9, 2019 at 5:57 pm

    She said that she is 32 but act like she is 42, I know cause I'm 40

  • Reply Roshen Carman November 9, 2019 at 6:18 pm

    Lol "call an office"
    I loved the second part of that BDE joke

  • Reply SAINT JAVEN November 9, 2019 at 7:33 pm

    Ok boomer

  • Reply Mitch Jones Fragile ego November 9, 2019 at 7:48 pm

    it is real and I embody it

  • Reply Kap_DP November 9, 2019 at 8:26 pm

    She had me rolling lol. Super funny.

  • Reply Kaja sabasin November 9, 2019 at 9:06 pm

    She's just not funny. Her jokes are okay at best, but her delivery, her tone, her personality – just isn't really working. Throughout most of the bit the crowd is politely laughing, or not laughing at all. Only a few people in the crowd are laughing. Again, she's just not funny.

  • Reply Mitchell Hughes November 9, 2019 at 10:00 pm

    Not great

  • Reply 5winder November 9, 2019 at 10:20 pm

    I actually laughed. God bless Jenny.

  • Reply seltzer7655 November 10, 2019 at 12:34 am

    I don't understand how anyone could genuinely laugh at any of this. What is wrong with you?

  • Reply Bill T November 10, 2019 at 12:55 am

    She is the opposite of funny.

  • Reply Eric Pro November 10, 2019 at 1:39 am

    I was worried at first she was just another new age bullshit feminist comic, she is actually really funny great job!! :))

  • Reply 6kwesi November 10, 2019 at 2:36 am

    This is the most down home hodgepodge of comedy, female comedy I've seen such far.

    Brava for Jenny Zigrino… Or cool beans.

    Mediation is cool and not everyone in Hollywoo is a monster.

  • Reply Cherah Lindo November 10, 2019 at 2:55 am

    She had me in tears ??? Especially with that dick-lung joke ????

  • Reply Alan McHugh November 10, 2019 at 2:57 am

    Garbage. Sad. Pass.

  • Reply Suh'lekt Ghaimyr November 10, 2019 at 3:22 am

    "Who are you?"
    "A hero" click lol

  • Reply Andrew Thompson November 10, 2019 at 3:54 am

    "YOU'VE GOT A DICK IN YOUR LUNGS"

  • Reply shilohtlw November 10, 2019 at 4:53 am

    NOT. FUNNY.

  • Reply Jackal November 10, 2019 at 7:17 am

    Maybe I watched a different video, but this one isn't funny. Awkward humor 'maybe', but not funny.

  • Reply Sexy scientist November 10, 2019 at 7:22 am

    6:07 Masturbation is not equivalent to jacking off.

  • Reply Christine Elizabeth November 10, 2019 at 9:07 am

    I’m only here to say I love her dress ?

  • Reply sham lamb November 10, 2019 at 11:12 am

    Feminism comedy wasn't funny, and it failed. So they switched to cows instead

  • Reply Rachel An November 10, 2019 at 1:24 pm

    Love her dress!!

  • Reply surfitlive November 10, 2019 at 1:42 pm

    "Sex magic"
    Tried it but only seems to work on the goal of falling asleep.?

  • Reply surfitlive November 10, 2019 at 1:47 pm

    Now I know WHY I'm socially awkward with females & low energy…..damn you Dick, Peter & Johnson!

  • Reply Doug Hemmen November 10, 2019 at 3:21 pm

    I'm wierd, quiet and don't make eye contact.

  • Reply Iconoclast November 10, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    She has big dick power envy cause her FUPA power just can’t compare ?????

  • Reply Virginia Gould November 10, 2019 at 5:25 pm

    No love for Kermit? It isn't easy being green…

  • Reply ggarcon89 November 10, 2019 at 5:45 pm

    Hilarious ?

  • Reply aprylljay November 10, 2019 at 5:56 pm

    Everclear and koolaid ??

  • Reply Yhaweh'sIllegitimateChild Yeshua'sRetribution November 10, 2019 at 7:09 pm

    Naw I beg to differ.. somebody just ain't fucking her right

  • Reply Ivory Galley November 10, 2019 at 8:12 pm

    Thought she said "I have and IED"..Christ now you not only need a signed consent form, proof of age but a bomb sniffing dog just to somewhat safely get laid.:)

  • Reply Kur Norock November 10, 2019 at 8:50 pm

    "They have hope in their eyes, it's gross."

    Yeah, like those rolls you have sticking out of those holes on the side of your dress for some fucked up reason.

  • Reply Sachmo November 10, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    She's great.

  • Reply Silas Cochran November 10, 2019 at 11:15 pm

    She's funny as hell and I'm commenting in the first few seconds of the video I am 57 seconds in you go girl?? I would give her a standing ovation but I'm on the floor rolling in laughter❤

  • Reply Truth Comedy November 10, 2019 at 11:50 pm

    Weak and not funny, you need an XL to get pass the folds.

  • Reply Conner Emer November 11, 2019 at 12:02 am

    This substitute teacher seems worn out from seeing all the dicks and growing uterine lining.

  • Reply A November 11, 2019 at 12:06 am

    "a hero" click

  • Reply Trouble Finds Me November 11, 2019 at 12:37 am

    0:00 seconds in i already know this gonna be trash

  • Reply Eamon Sherris-Watt November 11, 2019 at 12:41 am

    I misheard Tony Robbins as Tony Robinson and got really sad to hear that Baldrick was a monster this whole time. Instead it's just some shitty life coach, thank God.

  • Reply KingQp702 November 11, 2019 at 1:10 am

    Trash.

  • Reply Jason Blackwell November 11, 2019 at 2:09 am

    I live near and work in Johnson City TN. and yeah, meth is a problem around here but do you know how many girls are named Crystal? Like 3/8. So maybe half the room thought you were about to make fun of the healing power of someone they know. You know? If I had a dollar for every woman I know named Crystal I'd have a hundred dollars. And I don't even know everyone's name 'round here. I'm sure there are a lot of Crystals I've never met.

  • Reply Boss Hog November 11, 2019 at 4:35 am

    This is awful

  • Reply FreemonSandlewould November 11, 2019 at 4:51 am

    uh. Not funny. She makes Christopher Hitchen's point that women are simply not funny.

  • Reply Oravla Martin November 11, 2019 at 7:19 am

    I'd totally smash this broad.

  • Reply Dr. SkinniePenis November 11, 2019 at 8:10 am

    I give her 3/10, very meh

  • Reply Ebenezer Monney November 11, 2019 at 9:51 am

    Best female comedy I've heard. She should give the audience more time to finish their laughs before continuing. She's super!

  • Reply Asik Banget November 11, 2019 at 10:45 am

    Funny thing is that Tony Robbins ad just came before the video played

  • Reply James Bockenstette November 11, 2019 at 10:52 am

    Not funny.

  • Reply NOT kd November 11, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    nobody likes a beta male. not even lesbians

  • Reply Cassendre Xavier Music November 11, 2019 at 1:22 pm

    Liked the jokes. Loved the dress. Shoes made me cry.

  • Reply Coco Brochu November 11, 2019 at 2:18 pm

    This is so funny

  • Reply Isaac Tendongho November 11, 2019 at 2:53 pm

    She's what Amy Schumer wishes he could be

  • Reply Meredith Richardson November 11, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    Drinkin' to forget that debt, anyway.

  • Reply Weston November 11, 2019 at 4:46 pm

    All of these comics are depressingly warped and miserable and trying to normalize it. Gross.

  • Reply Raymond Palacios November 11, 2019 at 5:05 pm

    So this is what a chic looks like when they are 32 and has hit the wall. Wow!

  • Reply Clayton Kavaloski November 11, 2019 at 6:13 pm

    She’s honestly not funny

  • Reply Amber V November 11, 2019 at 6:16 pm

    then lin manuel miranda got cancelled for his colonialist coffee scheme in puerto rico lol

  • Reply Rhythmicons November 11, 2019 at 7:15 pm

    Stopped too early.

  • Reply MrJuicekrew November 11, 2019 at 7:50 pm

    That ends rather abruptly…I was enjoying that. I find it really annoying when thi…

  • Reply Jesse Gibbons November 11, 2019 at 9:37 pm

    For a fat chick shes really not that funny

  • Reply s J November 11, 2019 at 10:15 pm

    Fun Fact-Jenny Zigrino is funny.

  • Reply Lorenzo Scott November 11, 2019 at 10:25 pm

    She's not funny

  • Reply Jackson Reid November 11, 2019 at 10:54 pm

    Medium penis power wooo

  • Reply H G November 11, 2019 at 11:22 pm

    All college kids are good for is watering down our comedy by being offended at everything. This new generation of comics are not funny. Sorry Jenny but don't do college shows anymore, and maybe the joke writing will get better.

  • Reply black mamba November 12, 2019 at 12:00 am

    I love that she talked about endo! ?

  • Reply Chadical November 12, 2019 at 12:42 am

    This chick was NAILING it

  • Reply New Guy November 12, 2019 at 12:48 am

    It was smiling funny.

  • Reply Jay Hollywood November 12, 2019 at 3:00 am

    She is funny as hell! She is hot too. There, I said it.

  • Reply Ravi Peiris November 12, 2019 at 4:51 am

    Cute and funny, great combination in a woman

  • Reply Jitsu man November 12, 2019 at 6:51 am

    Damn another day that woman still aren't funny.

  • Reply Bakugo Katsuki November 12, 2019 at 2:16 pm

    “Crystal ruined my family” LMAO

  • Reply West Coast Vampire November 12, 2019 at 3:03 pm

    Cute denim dress ?

  • Reply Mohammed Amjad November 12, 2019 at 4:22 pm

    Wow this is dope and hilarious. Also she looks very beautiful.

  • Reply mike perrott November 12, 2019 at 8:19 pm

    Crystal ruined my family heheheh
    Love being from the country that line hits ⚰️⚰️⚰️

  • Reply Gerald McGregory November 12, 2019 at 9:14 pm

    ??crystal healing in Tennessee.

  • Reply Michael Gilkerson November 13, 2019 at 2:34 pm

    Too personal

  • Reply krill fish November 13, 2019 at 6:05 pm

    ok boomer

  • Reply UCeagle79 November 13, 2019 at 6:58 pm

    I wasnt sure about this video because of the title. But she had solid material and her delivery was good and she will improve. I laughted and was impressed by her.

  • Leave a Reply