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Alec Baldwin Gives the Roasters a Taste of Their Own Medicine – Roast of Alec Baldwin

February 18, 2020

What a night. You all talked about me
berating the paparazzi, marrying a woman half my age, and so many other
memorable achievements. I’m glad you all had fun
and a sizable amount of TV exposure at my expense, but just–there’s one more
charitable act that I’ve done that
I won’t get credit for. I’m a generous guy,
so sharing the spotlight is my gift to all of you. But at the same time, I want
to set all of you straight. Not you, Sean. If your father couldn’t
do that, how can I? – [laughs] – Sean, you proved to the world
that gay characters could be successful
in prime time, and tonight you proved
once and for all that Neil Patrick Harris
wasn’t available. Sean, you have the face
of a ventriloquist doll and the asshole of a much larger
ventriloquist doll. Blake Griffin, my gift to you
is bringing awareness to whatever tragic skin disease
it is you have. [clears throat] You’re a remarkable man, Blake. I wish we were as close
as your eyes are. Blake Griffin,
tonight you demonstrated what you do best:
sitting while others score.

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