Articles, Blog

A Video About Resident Evil And Final Fantasy VII Remake (The Jimquisition)

March 9, 2020

[“Born Depressed” by Drill Queen] Alright. We all got flu this past week. I was in the hospital Monday. Pretty much basically after I posted the last Jimquisition. Went out in the ole hospital with the ole flu, thank you very much. And then our editor, our art director, Justin, he’s got it as well. We are all dying. And that is why I come to you in this spectral form, ooOOOoooOOOoo. Cuz, I can’t be fucked to put on the hat, and the tie. And I THINK today’s episode makes sense and is good maybe? It might be. It might not be.. We’ll, uh.. I think it’s good. Yeah. One of the best games released in 2019 was Resident Evil 2. Now, the original Resident Evil 2 was released in 1998, and yet, some 20 years later, it’s re-imagining was rated among the top games, ranked highly alongside such stand-out titles as Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, The Outer Worlds, and Control. In fact, it didn’t just rank alongside them, it BEAT them. At least in terms of critical acclaim. With a 93 Metacritic average, Resident Evil 2 was THE top-rated game of 2019, across the PlayStation 4 and Xbox One platforms. Only on PC was the game placed lower, sitting at a still laudable fifth place behind Red Dead Redemption 2, some Final Fantasy bollocks, the excellent Disco Elysium, and Tetris Effect. Resident Evil 2 did not come to Switch last year, but interestingly, the highest-ranked game on Nintendo’s platform wasn’t a Nintendo title. The game you might imagine at the top, Fire Emblem: Three Houses was ranked number four behind Ori and the Blind Forest Definitive Edition, Dragon Quest 11, and of course, the most critically-beloved Switch game of the year, Divinity: Original Sin 2 Definitive Edition Why didn’t they call it “Divinitive Edition”? Even THQ Nordic knew enough to do a good pun with that shit. And THQ Nordic doesn’t even know that you shouldn’t host Q&A’s on 8chan. Larian are idiots. Fucking idiots. Just kidding, Larian, you know I love you folks. Idiots. Fucking idiots! That was last year, what about this year? Well, there are literally no prizes for guessing what the most anticipated title of 2020 is, because it’s obvious, unless you’re an idiot. Fucking idiot! There can be no doubt that one of the absolutely biggest releases of the year is the long-awaited, ridiculously hyped, Final Fantasy VII Remake. Announced years ago, and rumored for years before then, the sheer drooling anticipation of the fandom is palpable. And the recent release of a demo for the game has done nothing to assuage the ravenous hunger people have for Square Enix’s re-imagining of one of the most influential role-playing games of all time. And I mean, I got no major love for Tetsuya Nomura’s overwrought style, and even less regard for the modern Square Enix, but I got to admit… it’s a fucking good demo they put out. And I am on board. There is so much excitement surrounding the game, so much giddiness, and all for a remake of a game that released in 1997. Oh and the game I’m personally most looking forward to in 2020? Resident Evil 3: Nemesis. Originally released in 1999. Of course. So what’s the point we’re making here? Well… people like old shit, obviously. As we get older we find ourselves succumbing to nostalgia more and more. Yearning for a time when we didn’t have adult problems, like paying exorbitant rent for a fucking deathtrap. Not having a retirement plan. Looking down the sun-cooked barrel of human extinction, and dealing with such a fucked-up health care system that you’re worried about your insurance coverage while a bear eats your fucking face! Having to deal with all that, it’s no wonder so many adults nowadays play games, collect toys, do pretty much anything to escape back to a time when all the horribleness was someone else’s problem to worry about. Or at least, that’s what we thought. Before we grew up and realized the adults before us were waiting for all that horribleness to be OUR problem. Everything old is new again, and good old-fashioned nostalgia never goes out of style. Whether it’s those I Love the ’70s, ’80s, whatevers retrospective shows, or throwback productions like Stranger Things, Glow, or the wonderful Turbo Kid, people love things that happened ages ago. Nostalgia sells! Because the past is familiar, and the future is a stranger with a box full of nightmares. But in the videogame industry I think there’s something a bit extra but no less simple; people are excited about the return of old shit because it’s not like the game industry has done much to make us excited about anything new. I mean, just look at the kind of tawdry nonsense the biggest “triple AAA” publishers had to offer last year. We had Anthem! Which… …pffft ha HA HA HA HA! What a fucking waste of time. A shallow, directionless live service bandwagon hopper that BioWare is still foolishly trying to salvage, after a disastrous launch, and a rapid drop in customer interest in the short weeks following. Ubisoft, meanwhile, had two major live services of its own, and BOTH were pretty much the exact same game, except one was considerably shitter than the other. The Division 2 and Ghost Recon Breakpoint were drab, looter-shooters to stick in among all the other drab looter-shooters. And there was another Call of Duty game, which.. ..yeah. Thrilling. This isn’t to say EVERY mainstream game launch last year was a FLOP or was rubbish. EA did have Apex Legends, though, tellingly, EA didn’t support it much at first because it was scared it wouldn’t be a success. And Activision managed to get some critical acclaim for picking up Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice and having the restraint, or the lack of influence, to fuck it up with microtransactions or loot boxes. But the state of the modern mainstream game market as we’ve explained on this show many times, is utterly abysmal. The rise of the “liiiive service” has led to games releasing in sometimes embarrassingly-unfinished states. Littered none of the less with those aforementioned microtransactions and premium gambling mechanics. Most major, “AAA” publishers stuff their games with so much monetization they resemble over-priced theme parks. Where everything comes at an additional cost, and the price of entry is merely the starter investment for a game designed to take more and more money from you. And as games gate off more content behind their pre-order bonuses, season passes, glorified shell games and so-called “recurrent user spending”, it’s a fact a goddamned fact, that games offer less entertainment and expect more cash at the same time. The sheer volume of special editions, pay-walled content, and in-game economies deliberately designed to be as obfuscating as possible has led to a confusopoly where the game-buying public is being hoodwinked and exploited at every turn by scum-fucking trash peddlers, who seek only to get as much as possible while giving as little as they can. As I’ve explained on this show laboriously, many times, (mumbles) not that any fuckers listen to me. At the same time, the game industry has a major problem with follow-the-leader mentalities. One game becomes a success and suddenly all the big publishers rush to copy it. We’ve seen this dozens of times over the past two generations alone. From peripheral-based rhythm games, to MMOs, to military first-person shooters, to MOBAs, to battle royales, to looter-shooters, it doesn’t take long for a new idea in the game industry to be reduced to sludge. To loot it and spread thinly across a glut of games rushed out to capitalize on whatever the hot new gimmick is. And it seems as if this boom-bust cycle of genres and game mechanics is rotating faster than ever. It’s difficult to be excited about an industry where everything looks and feels the same. And whenever something fresh does come along, it’s not long before a ton of games look and feel the same as that. The great irony is that games from 20 years ago feel fresher today than brand-new intellectual property. People are excited for a hot new take on Resident Evil or Final Fantasy because.. well.. It’s EXCITING for one thing. For God’s sake something in the mainstream game industry is happening and it’s actually exciting. An event. Something to REALLY get hyped for. Not another drab looter-shooter, not another microtransaction-stuffed piece of live service disposable garbage. And it’s telling that these critically-acclaimed and very commercially successful remakes are based on genres that “AAA” publishers gleefully abandoned years ago to pursue their homogenized crap. The survival horror genre was kicked to the curb by most publishers last generation, with even genre-leader Capcom turning Resident Evil into a steadily more action-oriented series, culminating in the sloppy and desperate Resident Evil 6. It fell to indie developers like Frictional Games and Red Barrels to keep horror games relevant, while executives declared them and other single-player games dead. All part of their propaganda to establish lucrative, monetizable multiplayer games as the only viable choice. RPGs fared better than horror did, but it’s hard to argue their heyday came and gone around the same time horror’s did. …Hey do you remember when Ubisoft put out that RPG last generation? The one that was a bit rubbish. (mumbles) I’ve got nothing to say about it other than that. In fact, Square Enix itself had lost so much faith in the very genre that made it a household name, that it was actually surprised by the success of games like Bravely Default. At the time, one of its most traditional and throwback-y new releases in years. Basically, people are STARVING for these games, as has been demonstrated every time a game in an under-served genre comes out and is a success. I am telling you this now, there is simply no way Final Fantasy 7 Remake won’t be this year’s Resident Evil 2, and that Resident Evil 3 won’t be following close behind. Final Fantasy 7 Remake is undoubtedly going to be one of the most critically-acclaimed games of the year if not THE most, and that will make it the second year running that a redo of a 20-year-old game trounces the competition in terms of excitement, imagination, and capturing cultural interest. And that should embarrass the so-called “triple AAAaaaaaaaaaaaa” industry, quite frankly. It should be a point of humiliation that they can’t do better than that. But it’s 2020! Current-year argument. And the most interesting games on offer are Resident Evil 2 and 3 and Final Fantasy 7! Not sequels, not even reboots, just modern takes on really, really old videogames that we’re already intensely familiar with, but they’re BETTER. Resident Evil 2 was better than the vast majority of “AAA” titles last year. Final Fantasy 7 Remake is looking to EASILY be the same way. But at the same time it’s not surprising. The modern game industry is a desperate mess, a free-fall of cloying and scraping as publishers struggle with the reality that their explosive growth in the last few years was unsustainable, and that there’s no way to keep their record revenue going without cutting more corners, laying off more people, and devaluing their own games by pumping out shoddy, half-baked products, stuffed to the brim with in-app purchases. Give me Final Fantasy 7 over the modern game industry ANY TIME. …Why did I bring up Divinity earlier? I mean, it’s an old game but it doesn’t really… …fit. We’ll keep it in. It was worth it for the “divinitive” bit. …Fucking idiots. And that’s it for another episode of the Jimquisition. Sorry that it was all sick this week. And that I haven’t got my hat and my tie on, ’cause I know you love to see all that, don’tcha? You tune in every week and you say to yourself “Oooh,” (imitates eager murmurs) “Uuu I cannot wait to see that Jim, with his hat on.” “And his tie. OOOOooohhh.” “He knows how to WEAR a tiiiiiiie.” That’s what you’re always thinking and you gotta be disappointed this week. Cuz… we are all dying. And we are dead. It’s not Coronavirus! By the way. Let’s nip that in the bud, okay? Went to the hospital, tested positive for the flu. Not the Coronavirus, okay? Ain’t got the Co- I haven’t got the Coro- I was tellin’ ’em on Saturday when I was in the locker room, because, despite being sick I went to perform at a wrestling show. I was dying of flu and an asthma attack, it wasn’t Coronavirus. You didn’t have to run away from me, YELLING. That night. ..Thanks. And I just realized it made it sound like I was saying “Oh you could come near me and lick my face because I just had flu.” I wasn’t contagious at that point. So, that was fine. I’m not fine, because my lungs are full of fluids, but.. ..that’s basically it as far as symptoms are now. Fever broke ages– WHY am I justifying myself to YOU? I’m a fucking cartoon right now! One of those creepy ones that Justin does. Ain’t no creepy cartoon chimera gotta explain himself to you. Thank God for me. PEACE! [horn-prominent 8-bit music from Final Fantasy plays]


  • Reply Simon Noonan March 9, 2020 at 11:05 pm

    Looking forward to the day its Legend Of Dragoon :p

  • Reply c5on March 9, 2020 at 11:05 pm

    FF VII Remake will probably good. But not good enough for 180$+ waiting…

  • Reply Storm Blessed March 9, 2020 at 11:05 pm

    If I was a CEO of a major gaming company, I would use the current, bad climate of the game industry to my companies advantage. It's debatable, but the spot for the best, most respected video game company is up for grabs. I would use the business model of gaining happy, loyal customers. Story driven games with little to no dlc have proven to be cash cows, and record breakers, The Last of Us, Spiderman, Sekiro, RDR2 (before multiplayer was introduced), God of War, etc. are all games that companies should be striving to create. It's really about what Jim has said, accept making good money, not all of the money. Treat your desired customers with respect, and don't try to prey on them. Stop trying to break annual revenue records, and become a company that wants to be people's favorite.

  • Reply AMAZIAH March 9, 2020 at 11:06 pm

    Tell them the TRUTH

  • Reply Benoît De La Fournière March 9, 2020 at 11:06 pm

    FF7 remake isn't YET a success >.> it's episodic, with a time period exclusiv so ~~… shhhh

  • Reply PhrozenFox March 9, 2020 at 11:07 pm

    Could you call Divinity a Switch port please? I quite enjoy it with mods on PC.

  • Reply Will Bright March 9, 2020 at 11:08 pm

    Ah, that beautiful basement theme.

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  • Reply Yandere Waifu March 9, 2020 at 11:10 pm

    I liked RE2make enough that I bought two copies. I can't say the same for pretty much any other game released in the last decade. I was sick of playing games that do nothing but waste your time and try to fleece you at every opportunity.

  • Reply mb March 9, 2020 at 11:11 pm

    ffxiv is exciting too. very much so. if you like that sort of thing.

  • Reply Jedidiah Young March 9, 2020 at 11:12 pm

    Err just some legitimate criticism. Haven't seen one of your videos in months but your schtick of what's wrong with this game is almost verbatim with all the other videos I've seen. You go on prolonged rants to repeat the same thing week on week to pad time. It almost feels like feigned anger and outrage at this point. How many different ways are you going to lay the same topic on glass ? I get that's your schtick and you need to eat but come on be a bit less transparent.

  • Reply vladspellbinder March 9, 2020 at 11:14 pm

    Hope you all get better soon.

    Thanks for the video content Jim.

    Thanks for the editing Justin.

  • Reply DefconO1 March 9, 2020 at 11:16 pm

    Man you must be really sick to think FF7 remake is worth all the hype.

  • Reply Mr. AC March 9, 2020 at 11:18 pm

    always remake NEVER remaster !

  • Reply Raptor Dave March 9, 2020 at 11:20 pm

    Welp, Jim's dead. Bye Jim.

  • Reply TDOTCRFH4 March 9, 2020 at 11:21 pm

    "some final fantasy bollocks" >:0

  • Reply Nick Nevco March 9, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    does jim play an instrument

    I want to see or hear him play an instrument

    Maybe I should be careful what I ask for

    as it's JIM

  • Reply Sly Goat March 9, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    Not gonna lie. I don't think RE4 actually needs a remake – I've replayed it quite recently and found it holds up incredibly well – but I'd still play the hell out of one if they did remake it.

  • Reply CCCM89 March 9, 2020 at 11:22 pm

    not gonna lie, took me a bit over 30 seconds to realize. guess I should pay more attention…

  • Reply Alverant March 9, 2020 at 11:23 pm

    OTOH there was a remake of Master of Orion that pretty much flopped a few years back.

  • Reply The Rogue Wolf March 9, 2020 at 11:25 pm

    I could mention that the plot of the Resident Evil games is how a quickly-spreading virus turns people into lifeless, shambling caricatures of themselves… so I will. The plot of the Resident Evil games is how a quickly-spreading virus turns people into lifeless, shambling caricatures of themselves.

  • Reply A very lazy Devil March 9, 2020 at 11:26 pm

    RIP Jim, it was good to know you

  • Reply Joey Glass March 9, 2020 at 11:27 pm

    Get well soon, Jim and Justin. Hope to see a video on Animal Crossing: New Horizons once that rolls out.

  • Reply Stevie Wotsa March 9, 2020 at 11:27 pm

    I got to admit you are not far off there future games are yeah thrilling!!! So thrilling in fact that im not even bothered about buying a new console in future. Even if its a billion teraflops with 800000 gigs of RAM

  • Reply Chronos Chris March 9, 2020 at 11:28 pm

    The past isn't just familiar, it's just straight up better and that's a fact. There's been no modern JRPG better than FF7 and many of the golden oldies like Chrono Trigger / Cross, Suikoden 1/2

  • Reply Rob K March 9, 2020 at 11:33 pm

    I'm interested to see if FF7 Remake actually does win GotY. It's going up against The Last Of Us 2.

  • Reply Brandon Simoncini March 9, 2020 at 11:36 pm

    Next video: “I have coronavirus and killed my whole family”

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