Articles, Blog

7 Things NOT To Say To Someone With A Mental Illness

February 1, 2020

David dobrik is quaking Hey, hi, what’s up? My name’s autumn And I think I have good things to say sometimes so there was a specific request that I do this video So I’m gonna do it If you don’t follow me on other platforms and you didn’t know you are free to send me requests You can do it by either in the comments here or sending an aks to my tumblr I will probably see it on my tumblr sooner because I actually check that also I know some people prefer to stay anonymous, especially when it’s topics such as these because mental illness is so stigmatized So I just went So I just wanted to let you know that Tumblr is an option before we start feel free to hit that little subscribe button to get notified every single time I post I post on Wednesdays ish before we get started. This is just a general trigger warning Some of these things are really gross and as always if you are uncomfortable or sensitive to this kind of topic Please don’t feel forced to watch I Would hope so perhaps that is why people are prescribed Medications to change the chemical imbalance within their head because it is within their head. Hmm I know this is always meant in the way of your just making you know It’s not as bad as you’re making it out to be eccentric cetera uh This is not a good thing to say to someone you’re just overall invalidating them their experiences and their feelings and trying to tell them how you think they should act and Respond to what is happening with them? Even though you are not the one going through it and you are not the one who has to deal with it That’s kind of ignorant. We know it’s in our heads. That’s what mental illnesses This I see this absolutely everywhere not just in regards to mental illness But in regards to everything in life someone will speak about an issue that they’re going for in public or online and Somebody just always has to interject with it could be worse, you know, you know Suzy It could be worse back in my day. It was worse than that You know, it could be worse James There are starving kids in Africa But then simultaneously these exact people will do nothing to help these starving kids in Africa You can’t reference something to try and make an argument and then have nothing to back it up. So Interesting. It’s absolutely common sense or I would like to hope so that there is always something or somebody worse we know but again just like the first one it’s Become this thing to invalidate People or to shut people up when they actually try to talk about what they’re going through and that’s wrong Can you feel the anxiety Radiating off my body because I feel it inside me. Do you know how many times I Specifically have been told this okay This one makes me extra mad When you feel the urge to tell somebody this whether you think it’s good-natured or not Evaluate what seems? Mentally ill to you. What are you picturing when you hear the term mentally ill are you picturing an everyday Joe? That’s just like you and me or are you imagining somebody in an inpatient facility? Are you picturing? Someone being violent? Are you picturing? What the media has taught you about mental illness after we get that part down The next thing to evaluate is if you think you’re being good-natured by saying this Why do you think somebody would ever take this as a compliment? Why do you view this as a compliment also again? Sorry for shouting about this one. I’m mad It just writes at me Why do you think people who achieve things people who are successful can’t be mentally ill Why do you think that people can cope with their mental illnesses some people’s mental illnesses revolve around? success and achieving things to an obsessive level if you knew me just IRL and weren’t that close to me and didn’t follow me anywhere online you would assume I wasn’t either you would never even Think of the possibility of there being a chance that my mental health was not 100% and it’s okay to admit that I know That that is 99% of how the people who interact with me think and I swear to god This is not like a moment to flex That’s not what this is but getting invited to Political banquets getting invited to academic events getting to full tuition Scholarships and achieving an almost perfect 4.0 for my associates degree does not make me any less Mentally ill even though I have accomplished those things. I am mentally ill I’m getting way too much into my personal life. I’m sorry, but stop telling people that their mental illness Equates with how successful they are stopped telling people. Oh you’ve achieved this. Oh you’ve stayed in school Oh, you got this award. You can’t be mentally ill that’s not true You don’t know what other people struggle with stop After I just got heated over the last one this one goes hand-in-hand with that one basically no one’s life is perfect Absolutely. No one’s Perfection as much as my mentally ill asked when disagree is not attainable We are humans and we have flaws even if it seems perfect to you You don’t know what happens in everyone’s life 24/7 you have absolutely no idea what goes on behind closed doors I think this one is just incredibly ignorant for several reasons again We’re kind of going with the whole mentality with this one of oh It’s not that bad suck it up or you’re purposefully letting it get this bad I know the best even though I’m not going through this excetera, etc, etc also You’re assuming we have full control of our mental illnesses that just tomorrow I can wake up and be like hey Let’s stop having psychosis because it’s not fun. Let’s just stop doing that Let’s just not do it ever again Do you see how ridiculous that sounds and if you don’t I don’t I don’t know what to tell you There does come a dangerous point where some people do let their mental illnesses take over their lives I’m not saying that that doesn’t exist. However, even in this case simply just saying you just can’t let it control you What good is that gonna do them? No one’s just gonna be like, oh well Barbara Thanks. I needed that now I’m fine without offering any kind of actual Comfort or help this is counterproductive and gross The blank here is usually water yoga exercise, etc. Don’t get me wrong These are good things drinking water and exercising honest to God makes me feel better However, that’s not how it goes for everyone And also this comment is usually delivered with a very skewed mentality of how mental illness is managed again Don’t get me wrong there are definitely people whose mental health improves after doing yoga or drinking a lot of water or Exercising more including myself and while all of these things are great in practice many times these things need to be combined with something else such as CBT or medications suggesting that somebody simply drink water or try yoga and their mental illness will disappear is Oversimplifying their situation and also many of us have tried Yoga or exercise or water before believe it or not? Let it go let it go no control monetized This is mostly in regards to trauma stuff or mental illnesses that deal with trauma PTSD EDID, etc, etc I just how can you be so ignorant and Uncaring about people that have gone through something. So traumatic whether it be rape assault vehicular accidents violence in general That you honestly think it’s appropriate to tell someone to get over it It doesn’t matter how long ago that trauma happens It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe it should be classified as trauma. You did it go through it You are not the one that slips into periods of having to relive those moments you have Absolutely No, right in any way shape or form to police someone’s feelings over something that impacted them So severely that they now Experience flashbacks how alters cannot go to certain places, etc Absolutely. No, right. Did you did you read my lips there? Did you hear me? She can rejoin you the same again? no, right even if you experienced the same thing, is that person your perceptions and your worldview and your previous Experiences are not the same. You have no ground to stand on when you tell someone this That was expectedly Aggravating. Sorry about that But yeah, that is seven of the many things that you shouldn’t tell somebody with a mental illness again You are more than free to request stuff like this. I honestly think this might be my first mental health thing that I posted That’s weird. I know on Instagram and Twitter I’m always going off about stuff But like again, if you don’t follow me on there, you don’t see me going off about mental health stuff But I think the reason it took me so long to make a video like this is because I get so Emotionally invested in stuff because this stuff is me this stuff affects me and it’s just really aggravating to see people saying this kind of and to be told this kind of on a Daily basis or even to just hear it in passing It really hurts not to say I’m not like emotionally invested in all of the games that I post I definitely am however I didn’t go through as many hardships with that in my life. I guess is the correct wording I don’t know. That’s a whole separate video. So the week is your alien prince Thank you for supporting me in everything I do if you want to be the next shot of the week, follow me on all my social and comment on my stuff Thank you guys for watching and until next time dare to deviate and stop saying gross things. Good. Bye Take a moment remind yourself to take


  • Reply Autumn Hause August 1, 2018 at 5:48 am

    again i'm really sorry this video is mostly me yelling. but either way, i feel like this is really good information to be shared. i've censored all swearing in this video for that reason- please feel free to share this with someone or on social media to spread these messages. we can be one step closer to ending the stigma if we work together and uplift each other. <3

  • Reply casual_cursing August 1, 2018 at 6:11 am

    As someone who has multiple forms of anxiety, chronic depression, and suicidal tendencies, THANK YOU LIKE OMG THIS NEED TO BE SAID

  • Reply Peyton Taylor August 1, 2018 at 11:58 am

    Why do i get the last one so much! my god 😅 ps love your videos ❤💙❤💙

  • Reply Morgan P August 1, 2018 at 10:16 pm

    3:57 Preach bro. Every time someone is like “well you got a 4.0 so it clearly can’t be THAT bad!” I lose 3 years off my life.

  • Reply The Ghost August 2, 2018 at 1:46 am

    It’s not always people saying things, people do shitty actions when they hear about things that trigger my anxiety. Just today, I was at marching band camp and I mentioned how people touching me makes me get really bad anxiety and the girl sitting next to me looked me dead in the eye and grabbed my arm just to see my reaction

  • Reply kaley klover August 2, 2018 at 2:26 am

    I think my favorite unsolicited advice is always a toss up between "Have you tried (yoga/drinking more water/religion/positive thinking)?" and "You're just lazy and/or need to try harder!"

  • Reply Ash August 2, 2018 at 6:32 am

    OMFG just yesterday at work my coworker legit told me my anxiety was all in my head…I honestly wanted to say "yeah I'm aware of that&sometimes its not just in my head its in my muscles,my throat,my stomach,ect"…I mean I didn't say that bc I was so taken back by it…all bc I felt comfortable enough to explain why I shake/have a tremor…like yes my constantly anxious a** just wants to vibrate off the edge of the waterfalls donna bc getting help is something I don't have access to rn so yeah tell me again how this thing ive been dealing with since probably an extremely young age&have done research+taken college level courses on is all in my head like I didn't already know big shocker that a thing called MENTAL illness is located in the brain wow figure that out all by yourself did ya

  • Reply Baize Lux August 3, 2018 at 2:01 am

    As someone with depression, anxiety, suicidal tendencies, & panic attacks, I'm just glad someone said it. I've seen things and heard things that may not have been directed at me, but have been directed at the fact that someone was suffering from mental illness and it frustrated me so.

  • Reply Bridgett McIntyre August 16, 2018 at 12:58 pm

    I have anxiety and depression and ppl tell me "oh well it could be worse" 😒 I'm like "are you kidding me?"

  • Reply King Scorpion August 28, 2018 at 7:26 am

    What my mom says:
    "But you are not handicapped."

    "Use your will power."

    "You stopped taking medication because you don't want to cure yourself." …..
    (I actually stopped taking it because it made me suicidal and paranoid.)

    "You need friends."

    "When I was younger I didn't know anyone that had your problem."

    "Stop trying to read people's mind."

    "Stop caring about how other people think of you."

    "Maybe you have just gotten lazy and comfortable in the house and this is your excuse to not go outside."

    doesn't speak to me
    I told my dad about my issues a couple of times, and everytime he said I was being over-dramatic and pretending. One time he straight up called me fake.

    The worst part about all of this is that, they are super religious and I don't believe in religion, but I have to force myself to. Btw… I'm gay and closeted, so coming out to them is impossible. That's my biggest fear… of them finding out.

    Btw, I have social anxiety…

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